The further (mis)adventures of Ah Huang

[quote=“urodacus”]nobody has mentioned any french cars yet… :slight_smile: :laughing: :aiyo: :ohreally: except leviathan of course… :wink:

and i too like that colin macrae subaru special, or most of the WRC homologation variants of the impreza… that engine is sweet, and the gearbox is great too.

seems like the audi s4/s6 gets a big vote from driving fans, but doesn’t sell so many as you’d expect from that.[/quote]

Audi gets good sales on their “S” line of cars in Europe and North America. But in Asia it’s a different story, but you still see quite a few Audis with “S” badges around…obviously they are not “S” cars, just the result of some thinking that by putting “S” badges and 18" wheels on an `A4 makes it an S4, and thus saving the hefty mark-up on the real deal(which we all know that a real S4 has much more than different badges and wheels)…How many BMW 318 have you seen with M3 badges on them? Somehow, I think the locals see that as a great way to save money and make a smoking deal on a car…

A sample conversation between the type of people mentioned above for you all to enjoy :sunglasses:

A-Huang: (sloshing and chewing a mounthful of BinLang) Check out my new car!

A-Ching: Man, is that a new S4? Wow!

A-Huang: Yes indeed, (spits out the red juice)…all 3 milion NT of it!

A-Ching: You idiot, all you had to do was to buy a 1.7 milion dollar A4, change the badges and wheels, and voila, you got yourself an S4, and an extra 1.3 mil for the price of an A4. No need to worry about actual performance, we drive our cars like pansies. As long as I drive slowly enough to let people see the badges, I’m made in the shade.

A-Huang: [lighting a smoke] Damn, but call it what you want, I got the full mahogany wood grain trimmed interior in mine…so there IS a difference…and the wood is lighter than the standard interior, so I got lots of extra performance from that!..and I bought that fuel boosting formula advertised on TV…you know the stuff in the infomercial that they put in a blue truck, and it gets 5oohp from adding 10ml into your windshield washer container?

A-Ching: hay…hay…

A-Huang: ya, well I poured that whole baby in there and boy does it run sweet now! [throws a few fresh betel nuts in his mouth]…next, I’m gonna change all my nuts and bolts for anodized ones…and throw in a dashboard carpet to protect my mahogany!..


A-Ching: But aren’t you going to go all the way and fix a couple of those cool, blue wing lights while your at it?

A-Huang:Well I was going to, but I’m completely spent up now. After blowing nearly all the money I earned burning down that KTV, I only have enough left for the cable ties on my scooter’s rear licence plate, and one of those big headed spiderman to stick on the back. [picking his nose, and wiping it on his trousers], At least I don’t have to worry about the debt collectors [pulling out a fruit knife from under the drivers seat].

A-Huang-A-Ching together: Hahahahaha!

S series are not very common in Oz: very expensive with the import tariffs… yes, i have seen the many poor fakes here, and the fake Oettinger-tuned audis, but there are a fair number of real S4s and Oettingers about too. and i like the M badges you can stick on your cefiro or matiz. i must get one for my scooter.

and why o why would you buy a porsche cayenne turbo in taiwan?

huang: seen my new porsche? its bigger than yours. its impossible to drive it properly, and uses far too much fuel, but its bigger than your pissy little boxster. and more expensive. so suck on that, baby.

chuan: i’m sucking. (to self: one day, when i kill you, i’ll be better than you. and then i’ll have a fat porsche too.)

on a lighter note, there was a rare accident last night outside my house.

genuine bmw M3, about 2-3 years old, the babyshit mustard colour etc etc, stops quickly for a pedestrian traffic light (for once) and his mate on a ducati 996 SPS plows into the back of him. all the bodywork on the bike and the forks totalled… rear bumber and boot lid damage to the beemer, but an airbag popped…
i think they were having a quiet street race. well, as quiet as you can get with a full noise ducati in fuhsing road. another mate in a porsche convertible, couldn’t tell the model from my lofty perch, drove slowly up behind them and laughed… nobody hurt, but the bill, the bill… ouch!

A-Huang and A-Ching are quite popular I see…

Too bad for the idiots having a street race in downtown Taipei! :noway: …serves them right for pulling off that kind of driving in a city!..and sad to hear that a sweet 996SPS has been trashed in the hands of an idiot!

A-Huang: [talking to A-Ching outside of their car repair guy A-wey] What are you doing here?

A-Ching: ah, even though I’m driving like a granny, I don’t feel that I’m getting the best out of my Audi’s handling, so I’m changing out my front seats for some full racing bucket seats complete with racing belts! The Recaro one were too expensive so I’m buying some made by a local brand, RacingSprots (intentional mistake)…

A-Huang: [squatting down as he fishes out his pack of Long Lifes] You are the man!..

A-Ching: That’s not all, for optimal performance from my automatic transmission, I switched out the gear shift knob and threw on a super lightweight one with “Carbon look”…

A-Huang: A-Wey says that for my daily commute from my house in Changhwa to my work 2 kms down, I should put on a set of Z rated tires…this would maximize takeoff grip and braking grip for the 2 traffic lights on my way to work…A-Wey is right, I think I’ll go for it…

A-Ching: Why spend money on tires, mine are bald and I just don’t stop at the lights…With all of my power and “lightness”, I can just cruise through intersections without a hitch…and now with my new seats, I can make u-turns at anytime and not feel any movement on my seat…

A-Huang: Damn, you really know how to set-up a car for performance…

A-Ching:[hastily opening a box of betel nuts and throwing in a few fresh ones] You bet I do, I watch Robin on ESPN all the time…

:laughing: :laughing:
I Can’t wait for the next thrilling adventure.