A Sang was sitting in the beer bar when he had to go and relieve himself. "I spit here" he wrote on his beer can. When the Sang came back from the toilet, he saw the words "So did I" written below his own. "If I close my eyes, then I won't drink it," the Sang told himself as he quickly gulped down his beer.
A Sang: Heavens! Someone stole my wallet!
Wife: Didn't you feel a hand in your pocket?
Sang: Yes, but I thought it was mine!
One Sang was writing an application for an interview. In the place of `sex' category he wrote "twice a week". He handed it over to the officer. The officer aked that "In Sex you were supposed to write male or female !" He answered: "Sometimes male but mostly with female"
What happens when a Sang with an erection walks into a wall?' He breaks his nose.'
A Rajput, Havildar Singh, asks his long-time Sang friend, Ashutosh Sharma, " Panditji, I have heard that in Sang families, the mother has intercourse with the son, and the father with the daughter, in the manner of Brahma and Sarasvati of the Vedas. Is that true? "
Panditji replied, " You are only two-thirds correct! "
Asked the Rajput, " How so? "
Whereupon Panditji replied, " The Son also has intercourse with the Sister, like Pushan and his Sister. "
Once a Sang went to america. He was careful of his friend's advice about the American culture. He was told to be carefull of venereal diseases. A lean boy approached the Sang. "Give me all your money. If you refuse, I will use this syringe here, full of the HIV virus!" said the boy, brandishing a syringe.
The Sang was too angry, and he shouted, "You fool! I am very careful I have worn condoms!"
Q: What do you give a Sang as a gift on New Year?
A: Tie a hand grenade into a box and attach the pin to the box, and give him the box!
One day a Sang was riding his cow backwards (facing towards the back).
The people called out to him saying, "Hey, you are sitting on your cow backwards!"
"No", he replied, "It's not that I am sitting on the cow backwards, the cow's facing the wrong way."
Once, three men were travelling together across India; One Muslim, one Dravidian and one a Sang. When they reached the Ganga, they had to hire a boat to cross it. All of a sudden, the boatsman fell into the water and the ship started to sink. The Muslim prayed his Allah, jumped in the water, and was miraculously saved by Allah. Seeing this, the Dravidian prayed to Shiva, jumped in the water and was miraculously saved by Lord Shiva. Seeing this, the Sang prayed to his Lingam, but since there were twelve incarnations of Shiva Lingam, and thirty-three crore of other gods, they all fought amongst one another and the Sang drowned.
A new priest at his first ceremony was so nervous he couldn't stand still. He asked Shuklaji for some advice. Pandit Shukla replied, "When I'm worried about getting nervous, I take a few sips of bhang just to calm my nerves."
So the next day he took the older priest's advice. Before the ceremony, he got nervous and took some bhang. He then proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after the ceremony, he found the following note under his door:
A few sips of bhang. Not the whole bowl.
There are 4 Vedas, not 10.
There are 10 avatars, not 4.
There are 4 varnas (castes or colors), not 7
The castes have little to do with the colors of the rainbow.
It is das-avatar (ten incarnations), not dushera avatar
The Pandavas wagered their wife, they did not "bet their woman".
We do not refer to Ram chandra as "the late R.C."
Buddha did not derive his name from
Buddhu' (stupid) Kalu' (blackie, nigger)
We do not refer to Hanuman as "Hanu", nor do we call him "The Big Monkey"
We do not refer to Rama's father as "Ram ka Baap".
We call Krishna as Krishna (black) or Shyama (dark), not
Krishna defeated the Kauravas, he did not break their heads.
We do not refer to the swastika as the Big X.
Rama's wife is referred to as Sita, not, "The Woman with the Yoni"
The recommended grace is "Om Shanti" for peace, not "Om Shakti".