The Joy of a Well-Timed Fart

Embouchure control is everything.[/quote]

Embouchure: the position and use of the lips, tongue, and teeth in playing a wind instrument

You fart orally? :astonished:[/quote]

On some brass instruments, my playing could be described that way, yes.

[quote=ā€œflip-flopā€]My most memorable fart story about another person is from a few years ago.
When my family is at my grandparents house, I have to go to church to make my grandmother happy even though I normally donā€™t. One Easter my sisters and I chose to go to the easter vigil, even though it is 2 hours long instead of the normal 1, so we wouldnā€™t be under the watchful eye of our grandmother who will scold us if weā€™re not paying strict attention. We were about halfway through the mass standing there holding candles and listening to some reading when my sisters started giggling quietly, it wasnā€™t bothering me, but then people started to look at us funnily. I looked over at them, gave them the obligatory ā€˜stern older sister lookā€™ and asked them to be quiet, they responded with more giggles and a ā€œlisten to the girl behind us.ā€ I listened to what I had before dismissed as a kid quietly rambling to themselves in church, and realized the little girl was repeating over and over ā€œI farted, I fartedā€ to the tune of one of the songs we had recently sung. Though I normally donā€™t find farts funny, part of what was so funny was that no matter how hard the girlā€™s mom tried, she couldnā€™t get her to be quiet, and the girl was getting louder. I felt the giggling coming on, I tried to hold it in, but I glanced sideways at my sisters and saw their faces struggling for composure. I couldnā€™t hold it, I burst into laughter, not just quiet giggles but audible laughter complete with snorting. This got my sisters laughing as well and now many people were actually staring at us. Each time one of us managed to be quiet, weā€™d look at the others and start again. At more than one point I think we came close to singeing the clothes of the people in front of us as we were doubled over still holding our candles. Thank god my grandmother wasnā€™t there, I donā€™t know if sheā€™d have been mortified or livid. Though the girl finally stopped saying sheā€™d farted, my sisters and I couldnā€™t stop laughing until after we got home.[/quote]

This made me laugh. Thank you.

Mr T,if you are in need of fart humor, you need look no further than:

http://www.mrmethane.com

Poke around and find some of the free audio bytes.

Word. Rectally.

[quote=ā€œBigJohnā€]Mr T,if you are in need of fart humor, you need look no further than:

http://www.mrmethane.com

Poke around and find some of the free audio bytes.

Word. Rectally.[/quote]

That guy is disgusting. Truly. Iā€™m not a fetishist. I just like the humor of a good, well-timed fart. Thereā€™s something very human about it.

Farting and darting. :joy::joy::joy::joy::joy:

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I stop breathing if someone start farthing.
Guess need to wear mask instead. :mask:

The proper nomenclature for what the dart folk did was dustcropping: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dust%20cropping

This forum just keeps on giving! I feel like I stirred up the soup and found a Chimpanzee hand in the potā€¦

This might seem like a trivial matter, but there is 2 million pounds or more in dart prize winnings per year. A smelly fart can cause distraction.

That being said, the lines from this story are priceless:

He went further while speaking to Dutch TV station RTL7L: ā€œItā€™ll take me two nights to lose this smell from my nose.ā€

When Anderson in turn laid the blame at Harmsā€™s door, the Dutchman responded: ā€œIf the boy [Anderson] thinks Iā€™ve farted heā€™s 1010% :laughing::laughing:wrong. I swear on my childrenā€™s lives that it was not my fault. I had a bad stomach once on stage before and admitted it. So Iā€™m not going to lie about farting on stage.ā€

More commentaryā€”could have been the ref::joy:

I thought Wesley had farted on stage,ā€ Anderson told Dutch station RTL 7 following the match, denying breaking wind. ā€œYou can put your finger up my arse, there will be no smell there. I thought he had s**t, and I went ā€˜Oh, thatā€™s dirty.ā€™ā€

ā€œIt was bad. There was a stink, I thought it was him. Then he started playing better and I thought he must have needed to get some wind out,ā€ Anderson said.

ā€œSo, who was it then?ā€ Anderson was asked.

ā€œDonā€™t tell me, thereā€™s only a few boys up there,ā€ the dart champ said.

Speaking with the BBC, Professional Darts Corp. (PDC) chairman Barry Hearn joked about the controversy, while noting the possibility of another suspect who was on stage at the time: referee and caller Russ Bray.

https://cfox.com/news/4676817/grand-slam-of-darts-farts/?fbclid=IwAR3zWCBsBhp5Xf6pkJsguMaDx4Os2Vs4JAP3kFatzPkndJ8XcLGnulcyFT8

My best was running up Namsan (南山) in Korea. It was a hot night and the normally empty road up the mountain was full of cars for some weekend event. The cars were barely moving. It was hot but everybody had their windows down for some reason, and my friend and I were getting lots of ā€œwho are these crazy guys running up the mountain on a hot night like this type of comments.ā€ I let go of a huge bomb just as we were passing another car full of people again giving us the stare treatment. It felt so good to completely silence everyone in the vicinity as they just sat in their cars and stared in silence. After a minute or so were next to a new group of cars and the comments started again, but I ran the rest of the mountain with a smile on my face.

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