We went to a party last night. We were the entertainment.
I’m rather tired of being the ‘English speaking entertainment’ at various dinners and parties. Yes, I should be happy to be invited. Yes, I could decline. Yes, I should go home if I’m tired of this. Yes, I should meet new people.
This feeling will pass. I’ll accept the next invitation, prepare my foreign food dish, and go to the party.
I used to have a “friend” in Kaohusing. She was great when I first got there. Invited me to everything–even meetings at her office. When I tried to turn down the office meeting, she insisted that I attend and bring lots of good business ideas for a sale comming up! When I finally learned enough Chinese to understand how she was introducing me to people, I never spoke to her again.
“Hi so-and-so. This is my foreigner, Housecat.”
Many times, I found later, she’d already “booked” my appearence before inviting me, as was the case at the office meeting.
Did she teach you some tricks, like standing on two feet, playing dead etc.? I hate when they do this to us… 
[quote=“housecat”]“Hi so-and-so. This is my foreigner, Housecat.”
[/quote]
You got me thinking… Maybe that’s what my wife tells people.
Friends: Aaaaah…Hen keai!!! (cooing over my son). His eyes are soooo big!!!
Wife: Hehehe…Thank you. Here comes my foreigner…erm…I mean, my husband…
Friends: Foreigner Chinese babies are so cute. Is it true what they say about foreigners?
Wife: About their gigi? :ohreally:
Friends: Yes!! Hehehe…Is it true? 
Wife: 
Maybe. But I think mine might be broken or defective.
Friends: Hehehe…At least the baby is cute, la! 
Then again, perhaps it’s all in my head. Who the hell understands Taiwanese anyway? :saywhat:
[quote=“housecat”]When I finally learned enough Chinese to understand how she was introducing me to people, I never spoke to her again.
“Hi so-and-so. This is my foreigner, Housecat.”[/quote]
If she was saying “這是我的外國朋友(zheshi wo de waiguo pengyou), Housecat” it’s perfectly normal.
If she said “這是我的外國人(zheshi wo de wauiguoren), Housecat” it would be out of order and pretty strange. She would have gotten a lot of weird looks though.
Maybe she was saying 這是我養的老外… (zhe shi wo yang de laowai)… 
The longer I stay here, the more I honestly take pleasure in kind of messing with the above-described “laowai” party situation in subtle ways. For one thing, there are a number of answers that Taiwanese people want (or expect) out of foreigners. For one thing, when asked “What do you like about Taiwan?” they want to hear, “The people are so friendly and the food is so delicious.” I usually say, “Taipei has very low street crime and there are nice mountain hiking trails that are very accessible from the city.” Nice answer, but I always feel that that isn’t exactly what they want to hear. They are, however, my very honest opinions.
In a social situation with Taiwanese people, I the foreigner can continue to confuse when I talk of how I like the fact that Taiwan is well placed for short flights to some terrific travel destinations. I talk of places like Java (where all their maids are from, but which in my opinion has the friendliest people in Asia,) India, Sri Lanka, Laos…places I’ve had recent vacations. Believe me, I don’t talk too long because I can see that most people have absolutely no interest, and they don’t hide boredom well.
Basically, I just can’t bring myself to say all the cute foreigner things that Taiwanese people expect a foreigner to say, especially about girls and dating. I can just be myself, and I have real opinions about all kind of issues that Taiwanese people have familiarity with.
If you notice too, the phrasing of many questions that Taiwanese people ask suggests that they are not even questions anyway. We hear “dui bu dui?” which really just requests that we reaffirm what the asker already thinks. The asker of the question is not even looking for an “answer.”
That’s too true. They used to ask me stuff that I didn’t think. And then they would argue with me. “But foreigners all think this” and I would say “I don’t.” and they would argue and not believe me. I don’t know how many times someone spoke for me (someone who was with the non-believer) and told them I was just kidding.
I have met my share of this type of brain-donor. Life is too short, and their preconceptions do not affect my life enough that I’d spend my time trying to reeducate them. Basically I smile politely, say “whatever”, and then treat them as if stupidity was contagious.
This sort of issue has bothered me off and on for years.
A month or so ago, I decided to send an e-mail to a group of friends, many of whom are Taiwanese, asking them for insight.
I got a lot of helpful answers back, but the one that was most helpful to me was from my friend Craig, a Taiwanese-American in his 60s who has, in retirement, become a sort of living bodhisattva, spending his time serving other folks and working on his own spiritual enlightenment. Craig basically said “Most Taiwanese people have no idea how to act around foreigners. They’re even socially backward with each other. If they point and stare, or act strangely around you, it isn’t out of a conscious decision to ridicule you or make you out to be something strange. They simply have no idea how to interact with you.”
Many of you will read that and say “Bullshit. A grown person shouldn’t behave as these people behave.” I’ve probably thought those things myself dozens of times.
Others of you might take his words as I did, and they might help you feel more comfortable with the staring, pointing, being objectified, etc.
For you pedants, I was her foreigner, not her foreigner friend. That was the problem. And it was kind like a big joke, but I didn’t think it was funny. This relationship did have it’s perks in the beginning. I had a lot of experiences that I would not have had otherwise, and I got a lot of extra teaching hours from her friends who would call and ask to use her foreigner. But when I didn’t want to pick up another one–off class (I was already teaching about 14 hours a day most days), or didn’t want to go do whatever she’d aranged for me to go and do, she’d make me feel obligated and it would become clear that she would lose face if I refused. So I simply cut ties with her.
She did look me up one last time and ask me to go to YOHO with her one Christmas. I’d gone the year before, but that Christmas I was planning my wedding and couldn’t go. She really was pushy about it and finally asked me to “provide two other foreigners” for her. I let a co-teacher know about the opportunity to spend some time at YOHO, free room and drinks for the weekend in exchange for a white face and some English conversation. He was interested until he contacted her and she told him he was welcome as long as he wasn’t black.
Wouldn’t that give him more conversation value? As in, “This is my foreigner. He’s from America. No really, he is!”
We (my wife and I) used to get the, “Noooo…Really? Bu ke neng!” response to, “This is my husband. He’s from South Africa.”
“But he’s white.” 
Now we just say I’m from Australia. 
Thats purely wrong thing to do. Tell them you are mixed. Half of your mother half of your father.
[quote=“Tomas”]This sort of issue has bothered me off and on for years.
A month or so ago, I decided to send an e-mail to a group of friends, many of whom are Taiwanese, asking them for insight.
I got a lot of helpful answers back, but the one that was most helpful to me was from my friend Craig, a Taiwanese-American in his 60s who has, in retirement, become a sort of living bodhisattva, spending his time serving other folks and working on his own spiritual enlightenment. Craig basically said “Most Taiwanese people have no idea how to act around foreigners. They’re even socially backward with each other. If they point and stare, or act strangely around you, it isn’t out of a conscious decision to ridicule you or make you out to be something strange. They simply have no idea how to interact with you.”
Many of you will read that and say “Bullshit. A grown person shouldn’t behave as these people behave.” I’ve probably thought those things myself dozens of times.
Others of you might take his words as I did, and they might help you feel more comfortable with the staring, pointing, being objectified, etc.[/quote]
Fine wisdom!
That said, it doesn’t make it any less annoying.
The foreigner trophy factor is kinda ridiculous. Yet, this kind of behaviour is usually found amongst the noxious lairs of the supposedly upward mobile. The New Taiwanese {SicK}. Most regular working class chaps usually have their bullshit detectors operating quite well.
Interesting point about the socioeconomic group we’re actually dealing with, GingerMan, and I say I have to agree. Oddly (?) some of these people have even studied abroad, but most (so I’ve heard in years of listening to such stories) tend to avoid contact with the “foreigners” at a university abroad and make only Taiwanese friends. (A female Taiwnese coworker of mine told me of how she was shunned by the little group of Taiwanese students at the University of Colorado because she also socialized with the “foreigners”–white, black, whatever…) How bogus then that the “supposedly upwardly mobile” come back to Taiwan with their MBAs and still go for this trophy foreigner crap. I know not every well-educated Taiwanese person acts this way, but accounts shared in this thread are enough to make one believe that it’s more than an isolated incident.
My “friend” from my story had lived in Austrailia long enough to earn and Austrailian passport. Of course, while her children went to Austrailian Schools, she never made a single white friend while there. She just joined the community of Taiwanese in Austrailia.
I know quite a few foreigners living in Taiwan that don’t have a single Taiwanese friend.
Thats purely wrong thing to do. Tell them you are mixed. Half of your mother half of your father.[/quote]
I know, I know. Australia?
Seriously though. I just don’t feel like chatting to complete strangers about my heritage etc etc. It’s bad enough that you get approached with, “Ooooh…foreigner babies are so cute…etc…etc” When All I want to do is shout, “He’s as Taiwanese as your ankle biter you ignorant git!!” So to avoid the 1001 questions that accompany, “I’m from SA.” I’ve found from experience that, “I’m from Australia.” answers their need for inane knowledge about foreigners and they tend to bugger off after that.
Truth be told, I don’t have much patience with people when I’m shopping, so when the ignorance starts to flow with questions like, “But you’re white!” I tend to retort with, “So, which Aboriginal tribe are you from?”*
I prefer to deflect it with an answer that gets rid of them asap before I get rude and upset my wife.
My other favourite is jabbering in Afrikaans pretending to be from Holland. This gets rid of people you don’t want to talk to quicker, but it’s success hinges on my wife not speaking Chinese to them or on me being alone.
*I have nothing against Aboriginals, my wife is half Bunnan. But I know how it pisses off these types.
I have met my share of this type of brain-donor. Life is too short, and their preconceptions do not affect my life enough that I’d spend my time trying to reeducate them. Basically I smile politely, say “whatever”, and then treat them as if stupidity was contagious.[/quote]
Why stop there? I tell that in Ireland we all run around in skirts naked from the waist up ripping babies from limb to limb. Then I start fibbing. There is no end to the amount of fun to be had with the “but all foreigners do that…” line of argument.
The best fun to be had is with the ones who have actually been abroad and had their prejudices confirmed. This works really well if you’re good at discreet sarcasm and there is someone else there to appreciate it.
[quote=“Lord Lucan”]
The best fun to be had is with the ones who have actually been abroad and had their prejudices confirmed. This works really well if you’re good at discreet sarcasm and there is someone else there to appreciate it.[/quote]
That’s usually the problem, there’s no-one there to enjoy the results of my efforts.