Formosa Superstars:
Steve from the West Coast. A quintessential nerd, about 40 years old, and a world class creep. His M.O. was to hang around McDonald’s chatting up high school girls. “Excuse me Miss, can you help me with my Chinese…”, kinda shite. He always wore the same unlaundered clothes, had terrible hygiene, and wore a ratty pair of shoes, split at the souls with his purple sock clad feet poking out the sides. He had involuntary ticks, and to see him at work, when he was in heat, at McD’s was a nightmare. The poor shao-jie victim squirming in her seat, too embarrassed to tell him to sod off. At night he would indiscretely masturabate, in a room shared with 7 other people.
Juice, from Bostson. Juice was a black guy who slowly unraveled on us. In the begning he was just moderately odd, but by the end, when the police came and carted him out of the hostel, he was obviously headed for disaster. The last two weeks of his stay he took to bringing the worst kind of Buffalo Town skanks home and boneing them in his bunk ( he had 3 room mates in a tiny room with no wondows). Anyone who has lived in the hostels knows that the rule of thumb was to use a love hotel, an MTV., or whatever. On the night before he was evicted, a mate of his called him while he was infalgrante delecto with one of the deaf girls that hung aroung B.T… He came out into the crowded living room to answer his call with only a wash cloth wrapped half around his ass and over his boner. I think he moved down to the Taipei Hostel and not long after was busted trying to sell ice to an undercover cop. Got 7 years hard, out in Taoyuan for that.
Chris from Hawaii. A rasputin looking guy with coke bottle glasses. He once told me that his biggest life accomplishment, to date, was the 5 weeks he spent living as a nude recluse-hermit in a cave on the Big Island.
Then there was this broken down alkie Englishman, whose name escapes me. He’d pass out in the same chair almost everynight, after drinking himself senseless, and wake up in the morning wrapped in toilet paper, or sporting lipstick and dangling earrings. He hated everyone. In the end, when he finally pulled out of Taipei, he cursed us soundly and bragged how he was on his way to score a couple of 12 year olds in the Philipines - gender not specified.
Jerry from Frisco. Grew up on Alcatraz where his dad was a screw. He lived at the Formosa for about 5 years (must have been that early affinity for prison life), and each and every night he’d be up to the wee hours drinking his regular 6 big bottles of Taiwan pijo. He was prone to hurling bric-a-brac at people when one of the endless ridiculous arguments he’d get into got out of hand.
John from the States. He had a bad case of bi-polar disorder that was eratically medicated. Like most people with the disease he was a bit too intense when he was up, and when he was on the down beat - unsufferably maudalin. He was big into frottering and knew all the prime buses to ride to maximize close contact with school girls heading to and from school.
And there were heaps of people that weren’t screwballs, but were colorful characters, none-the-less…
Ed, the classic '60’s hippie that left his job working in a factory attaching spinners to the top of beanies, to teach kindergarten in Taipei. He was a great guy, with the best stories. He told me of the year that he dropped acid each and every day - just to see what it would do to him, and about the time, when he was unemployed and living with his grandma, that he decided to watch T.V. 12 hours a day, 7 days a week for 6 months, so that he could gain a better insight into what it means to be an American.
Taylor from L.A. She was the 19 year old, freerange child of a couple of hippies. She had been educated in all kinds of alternative schools, and was really sharp. Tall and shapely, she got into hostessing at Piano Bars on Lin-Sen, as did quite a few of the girls at the hostel in those days. Eventually, when offered enough money, she slept with one of the customers, making the leap from drinking compaion to hooker. She did 10 tricks after that, saved every dime, and left Taiwan after only a couple of weeks of horizontal employment, never to return, with a US$7,000 travel kitty.
Jaycee, from Nevada also became a prostitute. He worked for a pimp who sold betel nut down the street from the Hostel. He had quite a few odd experiences as a midnight cowboy, including several scenes invloving shagging the Mrs. whilst hubby wanked in the shadows. In the end he happened on a couple of very rich female clients who showered him with gifts and money, and helped him escape the life of hustling for the bin-lang pimp, for the life of a… kept man.
Paul from Glasgee, had a unique angle during his years in Asia. He reckoned that while all the other western blokes where getting lost in “yellow fever” chasing after local girls, he would concentrate his affections on the sea of neglected western womanhood. He only dated white women, and he always had a date. Then one day, he bedded down with a fellow Britt after some rave on Lamu, and in the morning when he woke up, she’d split and written in lipstick, on the mirror, “Welcome to the Wonderful World of AIDS.” He returned to Taiwan soon after, and spent the rest of his time there shitting himself about his status. He went home to sort it out.
British Gavin made his living as a smuggler, mostly of gold - up his bum - to Nepal, before becoming a kindergarten teacher in Sanchung, and working for the DPP.
Boston Thos, collected all kinds of bizarre street salvagings like a pack rat with o.c.d., and brushed his teeth with bleach. Thos was a tosser, if you ask me.