[quote=“housecat”]Look, dudes . . . I’m not saying Guo is suffereing, but you guys make is sound like gender makes no difference. Equality is great–but there ARE differences.
If a man, such as Sandman, for example, chooses to have children in his fifties–NO PROB! A man can focus on his career and neglect his social life for a good twenty to thirty years longer than a woman and still have a decent chance of having all the rest of it later. Yes, a fifty year old is going to be a different sort of dad, most likely, than a 20 or 30 year old, and he does sacrifice in the way of amount of time he can expect to be on the planet with his child–but this is never a certanty for anyone at any age.
If a woman isn’t in a serious relationship in her thirties, the likelyhood of her bearing her own children startes to fall off sharply. Yes, with today’s medical advancements, women in their fifties CAN have kids, but it gets very hard, very risky, very expensive.
We DO all make sacrifices for the choices we make. Choosing anything means NOT choosing a host of other possibilities. But come on guys–it really is not the same for a man and a woman with this kind of thing. “Equal” doesn’t equal “Same.”[/quote]
Ding Ding Ding…we have a winner. Now Bob, tell her what she’s won. And the conversation about any woman who has a kid in her 50s usually, begins with the question of “What’s she doin’ having a kid at 50 years-old? Little old for that, huh?”
[quote]Hehe, Nama, now you have to explain feminism to flob boys. Good luck with that.[/quote] Like trying to talk about the goodness of God with @bigtone.
[quote] It’s easier to just keep your mouth shut…[/quote]I know, right
[quote]Namahottie, maybe you can explain a bit more for me what you mean. To me, the feminist movement has always been explained as a way to give equal opportunities to the sexes. I don’t see the above story as a “damn if we do, damned if we don’t” thing. I see it as “well, now she understands what being the breadwinner entails”.[/quote] I’ve never seen the feminist movement that way, exactly but I also don’t feel as I fit into it either. But what I have concluded from the movement is that a woman has the right to choose to operate her life as she sees fit,and not have to be judged for it. Even when it comes to being able to compete with a man. But that latter part can take the argument in some really gray areas, which I won’t go into. “damn if we do/don’t” is an expression-but it is appropriate,IMO, for this situation. Seems like Guo “made her bed”, perhaps thinking that those choices could/would/should have led her to a desired outcome, but it didn’t. Such is life when you’re young. I know I was raised with the ideas of keeping one’s nose to grindstone, clean and educated would give me the fruits of my labor and a taste of what my parents had. But I think we can say that with the changing economy, world events,etc that not going to happen. I know as an educated black woman, my chances of marriaging a like minded educated black man, who I have things in common with is very slim. VERY. But getting pregnant and having a kid out of wedlock is about as easy as sin. I’m going into my late 30s, so the more time I spent working toward something, the more of a “sacrifice” I’m paying now (the price). Also, this article is about women in China, so there’s a much different context of being single going on here.
[quote]She seems to be a driven individual who wants to move up. I don’t see what her sex has to do with it except for the emphasis on her still being single[/quote].Right, seems is the operative word. What else is she gonna do since she can’t find a man. She might as well move up, because she doesn’t have anyone who may “provide” for her in her older years some of the benefits that comes from marriage.
[quote]They don’t comment on how many other managers (her peers) are in a similar situation as her. They also don’t focus on how many male managers in her position had to turn to matchmakers to find a wife because they were too busy working on their careers to date. I think that would be an important piece of information in which to compare the two groups.[/quote]That would have provided balance, but I guess it was just about women.
[quote]If someone wants to be highly successful, they have to make choices whether they are male or female.[/quote]And you’re right, but housecat points it very well. Those choices and their impacts are very different for men and women. A man who has a child later in life has finally “settled down.” A woman, who does it, well, she’s a multitude of things, and one of them ain’t settling down. A male who is highly driven or desires success, is admired but a woman who does it can be seen as unfeminine or not knowing her place. your eyes all you want, but think of about what isn’t said but thought or believed about women with power.
[quote]From how I read the article, Guo seems perfectly content to be single rather than married to the wrong man. That aside though, I ask you this question: Is this not what the feminist movement wanted? Equal opportunity of misery for both men and women?[/quote] I don’t think she is content. In the article she says:
[quote]“We’re not that passive,” says Guo. “I admit being a single woman comes with its challenges, but it also offers an opportunity to develop personally and do things outside of the shackles of a relationship.”
Guo spends about three hours a week practicing calligraphy.
She also enjoys whole Sunday afternoons at a beauty saloon. “I am no different to everyone else, except that I don’t have to wash men’s dirty socks and baby diapers,” she says.[/quote] Bullshit. I’m not buying that she’s content to spending a WHOLE afternoon at the beauty salon. First, as a woman, there is only one reason I’m going to the beauty salon, and that’s to look good, and I’m not doing it for myself. And I don’t need to spend a WHOLE afternoon there, that stuff gets expensive after a while. Perhaps she goes because she get fawned over. A majority of woman aren’t either. Second, I don’t think she’s practicing calligraphy because she enjoys putting ink on paper. That’s called “passing time” because “I’m sick of being in the house looking at my four white walls and hope I meet someone.” IMO, the women I met in Asia who were content doing this, were divorce or sick of their kids/husbands and were seeking an outlet. The single women I did get to know and observe used this to keep the loneliness and stigma of being single at bay.