The Retarded News - a facepalm


#1

Let’s start with this one:

nypost.com/2014/07/17/eyewitness … of-attack/?

I wonder what her name was before she changed it.


#2

I had a gym teacher named Candy B. Sweet. You never know. The ill will of parents knows no bounds in terms of naming offspring.


#3

Years ago when I worked in a bank we had a customer named Lester J. Lester. I asked if that was his birth name, and he said yes. He was a nice guy, but I never had the nerve to ask him what the hell his parents were smoking when they gave him that name.


#4

I knew a girl named 高士婷. That’s all well and good until you read out-loud with a foreign accent: Kao Shihting.


#5

:laughing:


#6

Kid in my school called Julius Caesar.


#7


#8

At least it wasn’t Herbert H. Hebert.

I know a guy named Michael Hunt. Don’t call him Mike.


#9

I was teaching Chinese 101 in the early '80s earning a TA stipend. One of my students was ‘April Justice’. This was the time when a terrorist group ‘Black September’ was still around (look up what they did in 1977 in Munich). When I first handed out quiz papers, I somehow froze and thought someone had made some kind of statement…


#10

youtube.com/watch?v=6T_k1cVkOzc#t=16

Louis Slungpue explains: “It was either a cherry bomb, or someone took a really large dump.”

I wonder if he’s from Flung Dung, Vietnam?


#11

usatoday.com/story/news/nati … /14323435/

[quote]In a segment on the use of tear gas in the Ferguson, Mo., protests, CNN International Anchor Rosemary Church asked why police are using this strategy instead of others to disperse crowds.

Church went on to ask Tuesday, “Why not perhaps use water cannons, at least it’s not something that is going to have the same kind of effect.”[/quote]

Don’t give them any ideas, okay?


#12

Is there a doctor in the house?

pbs.twimg.com/media/B0LKwWZIYAAehmK.jpg:large


#13

Apparently Officer Wilson testified before the grand jury and the autopsy seems to mesh with his story. I don’t think any charges will be brought against him and it doesn’t appear as if any should be but I’m not sure the protestors care very much about what really happened.


#14

[quote=“rowland”]Is there a doctor in the house?

pbs.twimg.com/media/B0LKwWZIYAAehmK.jpg:large

[/quote]

still, she’s right. y won’t catch Ebola rom standing 3 ft away from someone with it. You might if you touch the same surface with fomites.

Rowland, you’re being the usual here.

As expected.


#15

Urodacus, why so touchy?


#16

mediamatters.org/research/2009/1 … git/156164


#17

Envy, the green eyed monster.


#18

I’ll take the news seriously when the news starts taking itself seriously…

mediaite.com/online/cbs-affi … ene-today/

[quote] @ErikSandoval We are all on the same team and all understand the gravity of this, but we are allowed to smile too. @EricYutzy @CBS12

— Suzanne Boyd (@SuzanneBoyd) June 13, 2016[/quote]

Good point… almost, but not quite. You have to earn some credibility before you can relax that much. And public confidence in TV news is at 20%. So… no.


#19

Layers and layers of fact checkers.

heatst.com/uk/exclusive-brexit-2 … t-as-real/

[quote]The BBC’s desperate shilling for Remain will come under increasing scrutiny as we exclusively reveal that the supposed ‘popular petition’ for a second referendum – wholly illegal and unworkable, and unprecedented in British history – is a prank by notorious sh*tposters 4 Chan.

The BBC, the UK’s national broadcaster, gleefully reported, as real, with no basic journalistic checks, an online petition that appeared to be growing at a colossal rate. By 1:30 pm, it was one of the fastest-growing petitions in history.

So fast, in fact, that somebody should have checked for bots and scripts.[/quote]

Cue the (Monty) Python theme.


#20

Chris Matthews fails to see the forest for the trees…

newsbusters.org/blogs/nb/curtis- … em-involve

Intelligence involves pattern recognition. Stupidity is a failure to see the obvious.