The segue thread of Taiwan records


#1

What kind of Taiwan only record do you have that you think no one can beat.

Here’s mine.

Most cleaning ladies in an MRT bathroom whilst peeing: 4

This is in response to the “Anyone have anything positive to say?” thread, so let’s keep things “positive”. :smiley:


#2

Most full-grown adults on a motorcycle for a trip of over 1km - 4
Most bottles seen broken over one man’s head - about 10
Most termite drones found hovering around a light inside the house upon arrival from a bar - approx 500-3000
Most termites killed with a mosquito raquet - 500-3000
Most mosquitos killed with bare hands over the course of an evening - about 20
Most cockroaches killed in an evening - about 15
Farthest distance driven on a scooter while drunk - Wulai to Taipei
Farthest distance driven in a car while drunk - Kaohsiung to Taipei
Highest mileage put on a scooter - 50,000km in three years.
Most years in Taiwan without going to the natioanl palace museam - 8
Most trips to Thailand for vacation in one year - 6


#3

(Population x mountain area over 2000 meters)/land area.

I have not crunched the numbers, and leave that to someone else. If it is not a world record, then we add “islands only”.

Hottala!


#4

Got you beat on at least two there Chainsmoker. I went from Taipei to Kending (the long way, via Hualian) in a wasted stupor. The driver wasn’t as far gone as me, but he was still pretty fucked up. Of course, neither of us would EVER think of doing such a thing nowadays!

And I managed 13 years without a visit to the Palace Museum. And when I did finally go last autumn, I wished I hadn’t!


#5

[quote=“sandman”]
Got you beat on at least two there Chainsmoker. I went from Taipei to Kending (the long way, via Hualian) in a wasted stupor. [/quote]

Does that mean your balls are bigger than Chainsmoker’s, or is your brain smaller?

[quote]
And I managed 13 years without a visit to the Palace Museum. And when I did finally go last autumn, I wished I hadn’t![/quote]

At least it’s not expensive. Try Disneyland. It’s about the same size and the rides are just as dull.
They really could spiff that place up if it weren’t in the hands of the KMT still.


#6

I think most of them probably are. My brain’s definitely not smaller – there are just fewer parts still working.


#7

Number of vacation days from a full-time teaching job from August 2002-August 2003: 75 days out of 365 days. Almost 20% of the year off. Even more so if you consider the fact that I only work 5 days a week and not all 365 days. I think it comes out to working 180 days out of 240 weekdays a year or only working 75% of all possible workdays a year.

Number of trips to Kenting from Taipei: 5 times within 6 months

Number of times attempting to go whale watching this summer: 4

Number of times actually getting out on the ocean to where the dolphins and whales were: 1

Number of times I wished I could open my eyes long enough to see the whales without feeling an urge to be sick on that one time that I made it out to sea: at least 100

I think I have all of the teachers here beat on the vacation days thing. I fear that I may be too spoiled by all of the vacation time to work anywhere else for the rest of my life.
:wink:


#8

Actually, contrary to popular opinion, It requires neither big balls nor a small brain to drive while intoxicated. Mostly it just requires a vehicle, alcohol, and a strange desire to be somewhere else. It should also be noted that if you drive drunk for more than a couple of hours straight, one of three things will happen:you sober up, you fall asleep, or you get so damn good at it that no one can tell the difference.


#9

Friends don’t let friends drive drunk.
That’s the sort of shit your luck runs out on, so you don’t be smug, Smokey.

I got you both beat.
Most hardware still remaining inside leg after rootie-tootie scooter scatter, in Taipei.


#10

Heaviest item ever moved (solo) on a motorcycle: One full size refrigerator. :sunglasses:


#11

Most bicycles in one spot: KungKuan MRT Stop / Taiwan Normal Univeristy


#12

Got you beat on that one too – remember that time I gave you a ride…? :wink:


#13

Maoman “The Fridge” Perry


#14

Largest number of middle-aged Taiwanese couples berated by yours truly for providing unwanted play-by-play commentary on the film we all paid good money to watch IN PEACE: 3. :x

Largest number of whiskey shots forced by business cultural convention to imbibe in a single three hour period: I remember the first 12 very clearly. After that, I’m not sure.

Number of times friends of mine required to carry me to a taxi and up to my apartment, due to above-described whiskeyfest: 2.

Number of times girlfriend and I asked by single, boyfriendless female neighbor to keep “noise of a private nature” down to a minimum: 3. :blush:


#15

The highest market price for a used cardboard box that the fruit vendor on the corner is throwing away - NT 10


#16

Years since I have been to the National Palace Museum: 17
Number of policemen aiming their 9mm handguns at my chest: 2


#17

[quote=“Tomas”]Number of times girlfriend and I asked by single, boyfriendless female neighbor to keep “noise of a private nature” down to a minimum: 3. :blush:
[/quote]

Tomas, give the poor neighbor a break! I’m pretty sure Watson’s carries Gas-X, or perhaps Bean-O.


#18

I’ll have to quit making that seven layer bean dip. Or, perhaps I could invite our sensitive neighbor to join in the noisemaking. :laughing:


#19

[quote=“wolf_reinhold”]
Number of policeman aiming their 9mm handguns at my chest: 2[/quote]

This of course requires elaboration. Two policeman?
Seriously, though, what happened?