Has anyone here been to Central Asia recently (Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan, Kyrghizstan, Kazakhstan, or Tajikistan)? How safe and reliable is travel there now for an American passport holder?
Will English or Chinese do me any good in this part of the world, or will I definitely need to pick up some Russian? What are the local people like?
Will I need a sponsor for a visa, and will I need to inform the authorities of my every move and every place where I plan to lodge, just like in Russia? How easy is it to find a local sponsor?
Could you name offhand any places or peoples I should DEFINITELY CHECK OUT or DEFINITELY AVOID in these countries?
As of now, I’m dreaming up a train trip from Beijing to Kashgar, and from there into the Stans, across the Caspian sea by boat to Azerbaijan and Armenia, and then wend my way up through Europe.
I ask because people who care about me have warned me very sternly not to set foot in the Stans, and I don’t think they’re well informed. I’m not going near Afghanistan or Pakistan.
Kaz, Uzbek,Turk and Tajik should be fine as they were alais of the states and have been for some time now. As for the rest I’m not too sure. I’m from Azerbaijan(or atleast I was born there) myself and though I haven’t had the chance to return since my family left nearly thirty years ago, hear that it’s relatively safe. Kyrg has never been all that much of a threatening place or so my relatives tell me.
My wanna be careful though as all of the above are heavily populated by testosterone pumped locals(yes even the fems), so you may not want to get caught or talked into any peeing contests or arm wrestling. Atleast not that your not willing to lose so as not to frustrate sore losers.
Oops, I started a topic just now that is the same as this one (moderators, could you kill that other one?)
Dave, my girlfriend and I are thinking about where we can go for vacation this year.
We’re hoping to put together a 2 to 3 week trip. She’s pushing for Nepal, but I’m voting for the 'Stans, even though I don’t know anything about them (actually, that’s a major reason why I want to go there )
A close friend of mine back in the US spent a summer in Uzbekistan – so I’m hoping to get tips from him. I’ll share with you what I know, when I know
Nam, you’re the second Azerbaijiani in Taiwan I (sort of) know in just the past 3 months. Cool. (ahem, folks, I’m suspecting an invasion, so watch out for Azeri’s in your backyard)
No, those generally begin with a mass influx of women resembling NFL linebackers (5 o’clock shadow’n all) followed by men with slightly more facial hair smoking cigarettes that never seem to end (even by western smokers’ standards).
Both of the above are then ordered (by means of secret messages stuffed in 1Litre caviar jars) to “make party” using said caviar and soon to come Cognac, strong enough to blind the sighted and/or make the blind see (not necessarily in that order.) From this point they continue their onslaught of loud music and overeating, inviting neighbors, onlookers and yes even passers by join in the event. The unknowing visitor is then charmed into what seems, to the unknowing chump, to be a rather easily finished portion of “lui-lia Kebob”. . Once this portion nears it’s end it is replaced by another while the “chump” turns his head to watch one of the Azeri wives beat a local strongman in a “friendly” armwrestling match. This process is repeated once, add infinatum untill the poor victim is stuffed senseless and to drunk to leave. :s
I would give more details if not for fear of what would happen to my extended family who remain in, “The Motherland.”
On a side note I just thought I’d share a little childhood memory with whosoever would like to read it.
I remember (at the age of 15) waiting to meet the cousins that I had only heard of. I had the misfortune of being so impatient as to run to the door after seeing my dad pull into the driveway just to get a quick look at my(as of yet unseen) cousin. As I peaked out the hole I noticed a strong muscular looking figure approaching the door carrying two LARGE pieces of luggage and a backpack. As I pulled the door open (in all of the excitement that you could expect from a kid who had never met any of his extended family) screamed “MOM, HE’S HERE AND HE’S BIGGER THAN I THOUGHT HE WOULD BE!!!..He’s carrying all of the luggage by himself!!!”
My mother then approached the door and smacked me for making such a smartass remark about(at least in front of her) my cousin’s wife.
I have refrained from such levels of excitement (over anything) ever since. (Mostly because I can still feel that smack, every time that I think of it)
Are Azeris culturally similiar to Armenians? I’ve known a few Armenians, and have found their values and ways of relating to each other and to outsiders uncannily similar to Chinese in some ways.
Translates into something along the lines of…Russians do things their own way. This pretty well rings true for most of the former USSR.
You’re GUARENTIED to get ripped off through the duration of your stay there, though it’s completely up to you as to how badly.
When traveling just remember that you’ve got it (money), and they wa…no, need it.
On the other hand they generaly tend to do so in a very direct manner like over charging for most things.
I prefer to deal with such things, as apposed to the roadside robbery option. They tend to be better toward foreigners than to their own at times as well. Much like Taiwanese I suppose.
The current President/Dictator of Azerbaijan [happens to be an x-KGB Senior (c’mon…act surprised!!!)] has a son who loves nothing more than to hit the Turkish casinos with the nation’s check book.
He’s becoming quite notoriuos for such habits. Problem is that, the general population is out numbered by the military and other authorities nearly two to one. This of course is mostly funded and made possible by the mamoth oil reserves scattered around the Caspian Sea.
Another thing I noticed about Armenians (at least the ones in the new york city area) which is similar to Chinese, is that they have an aesthetic preference for things that “look like money.” For example, it doesn’t matter if the faux greek columns are actually made of concrete and rebar and paint, because they make the house and its occupants LOOK RICH from a distance.
For those who don’t know, Borat is a satire where Sacha Baron Cohen plays a racist, sexist autocrat caricature from Kazakhstan who puts unsuspecting bystanders in uncomfortable positions.
When the first movie came out in 2006 Kazakhstan banned the film. When Borat 2 was released two weeks ago, the country decided to “lean in” and released tourist videos that borrow liberally from the film
You can watch their “Very Nice” advertisement here:
)
. Once this portion nears it’s end it is replaced by another while the “chump” turns his head to watch one of the Azeri wives beat a local strongman in a “friendly” armwrestling match. This process is repeated once, add infinatum untill the poor victim is stuffed senseless and to drunk to leave. 
:s 
