The Stew World Order

Discussion Open Forum
1

This thread may be destined for the flame forum, but I am going to start it anyway. Let me preface it by saying that I am a regular poster here, but I don’t want to hide behind my forumosan alias. Stew Pendous is my recognized and published nom-de-plume and I go by this name in various circles of my life. It would not be that hard to figure out who I am, if you wanted to put the effort in. The reason for my “new” name is not to hide but to be open to the ctiticisms this thread should invoke.

The planet is going to hell in a handbasket as dear old Granny used to say and I have been pondering what can be done about it. I am not talking about all the indescrimanate murdering of innocents perpetrated by terrorists and freedom fighters…I am not talking about SARS, AIDS or any other disease-ridden acronym. I am talking about our treatment of the planet as a living, breathing entity. The most important book I’ve ever read is Ishmael by Daniel Quinn and I take what he has to say rather seriously. He urges his readers to discuss options for saving the planet and this is the reason for this thread.

To put Quinn’s thoughts in a nutshell, we humans do not obey the laws of nature…and as the bad guy in Matrix put it, we move to an area and totally deplete that area of natural resources and move on top the next one…like a virus…and yes, we are a virus, an unstoppable one…or so it would seem.

So, I am going to begin a little fantasy world here at Forumosa. In this world, I am King…I decide the fate of human and animal kind. I welcome your thoughts and will be open to suggestions, but my decisions are final.

I call it “The Stew World Order” and welcome to my machine.

First order of business, cull the herd…

We are doing a pretty good job of it already, what with the above mentioned wars and pestilences and with buses going over cliffs and trains derailing hither thither, but as long as we keep feeding the undernourished and uneducated, we will keep breeding faster than we can kill each other off. I am all for death these days, I am it’s greatest cheerleader…spiffy uniform, all black with one of those big cleaver thingies instead of pom poms…but I digress…we are not dying fast enough…therefore, I am devising a test…1 wrong answer and ZAP, you are gone…

First question:

Do you believe in God, Allah, Jehovah or Krishna? Answer yes and you are gone…ZAAAP!

There…the herd is now culled…I spared the Buddhists and Daoists because they are in tune with the laws of nature and we will need industry to keep moving forward…I can’t kill everyone off or the cure would be worse than the virus

Next question:

Do you want to have more than one offspring? Answer yes and you are gone…ZAAAP!

Education becomes the main focus of my Stew World order…war is abolished and the economy goes thru the roof as the entire planet has now become that elusive global village think-tankers and utopians so fond of espousing. No, not that Global Village, the other one…sheeesh :?

Now we are getting somewhere.

Any thoughts? Or am I going directly to the Flame Forum? If so, you will never hear from StewPendous again…my alter-ego, however, will continue to post his/her mirthful, tantalizing, insightful bits-o-nonsense on a daily basis.

2

[quote]I spared the Buddhists and Daoists because they are in tune with the laws of nature[/quote] Just like the Chinese!! :laughing:

Stupedous,
If humans are indeed a plague, you don’t need to kill them to reduce their numbers. You could sterilize them, or come up with a way to make straight people gay.

3

[quote=“almas john”][quote]I spared the Buddhists and Daoists because they are in tune with the laws of nature[/quote] Just like the Chinese!! :laughing:

Stupedous,
If humans are indeed a plague, you don’t need to kill them to reduce their numbers. You could sterilize them, or come up with a way to make straight people gay.[/quote]

Almost John,

That’s StewPendous, and yes, there will be a secondary culling of those humans that do not respect the laws of nature…I just want to get rid of the stew-pid non-sectarians and over-breeders first. Sterilization and and enforced homosexuality takes the cure too far…I am trying to save the race, not annihilate it…but thanks for playing…ZAAAAP…you’re gone… :wink:

4

Toe Save you blew your cover.

And what, belief in a higher power gets you zapped off of planet toe save? Hmmm.

5

[quote=“Maoman”]??? ??? you blew your cover.

And what, belief in a higher power gets you zapped off of planet ??? ??? ? Hmmm.[/quote]

No…you blew my cover…you are a higher power here on planet forumosa and thusly, have access to little cyber tricks the rest of us don’t. And yes, belief in a higher power gets you Zapped…

As Crosby Stills and Nash said;

“So many people have lied in the name of Christ
For anyone to heed the call
So many people have died in the name of Christ
That I can’t believe it all”

Belief in an unproven entity is just silly…it is wasteful and harmful…and it’s my world, so you don’t have to stay. I will further this statement by saying that the Pope is the greatest terrorist of all time. Over-population of the planet will kill more people than all the suicide bombers and George Bushes put together. Until he allows Catholics to practice birth control, he will be held accountable in the Stew World Order. Although, seeing him on the news last night leads me to think he will not require too much a a Zap…more like a well timed “BOO”…that should do the trick. But the next Pope will be Zapped if he doesn’t change the tune…

And, as the late great Monty Python said:

“Every sperm is sacred”…

Answer this (taken from West Wing):

Islamic Extremists are to Islamic as
________ is to Christianity.

For those of you who saw this episode of the West Wing, please do not give away the answer, it is fun watching people try to figure it out.

And my dear Maoman, I like you, but unless you want a zapping, I suggest you edit your post to keep me anonymous…

6

DAMN DAMN and more DAMN…Sorry Maoman…I just realized how I blew it…DAMN…

What an idiot…ZAP…there I go…no one left to rule my world…

:blush: :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush:

7

Go on Maoman, edit the post.

Er, Stew, since when have lumps of rock bathed in thermonuclear radiation been living breathing entities? And how are we ignoring the ‘laws of nature’?

Can we choose which ones to ignore, such as gravity or entropy?

Or are you referring to that mythical ‘balance of nature’ crap? Or is there some being out there laying down laws of nature for our own good?

Hey, did you know that there is fossil evidence of dinosaurs surviving for several MILLION years after the alleged meteor strike that is supposed to have wiped them out. Wow! And people have modelled the way that species suddenly go extinct for no apparent reason, in accordance with the real laws of nature.

Another theory I read, unlikely but interesting none the less, is that the disappearance of the dinosaurs coincides with the evolution of grass. If dinosaurs had evolved eating ferns then they probably would not have been able to digest grass, but grass is a pretty good survivor and is able to displace the ferns. Result: the dinosaurs starved to death.

The most important law of nature is ‘survival of the fittest.’ Fitness is defined as the ability to survive. Survival of the survivors, that’s all. Human dominance is totally in accord with the laws of nature.

Just ask a cockroach.

8

way to go! That was the quickest self-destructing troll I’ve ever seen.

(Actually it can all be saved if maoman deletes the first line of his post, and ts edits his responses to aj and maoman; etc. Of course I would edit this as well for some $G :slight_smile: )

9

And a certain someone posted this:

Here:

http://forumosa.com/3/viewtopic.php?t=5219&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=15

. . . and dragged it into the light this afternoon.

Itching to be caught.

HG

10

[quote=“way2go!”]way to go! That was the quickest self-destructing troll I’ve ever seen.

(Actually it can all be saved if Maoman deletes the first line of his post, and ts edits his responses to aj and Maoman; etc. Of course I would edit this as well for some $G :slight_smile: )[/quote]

No…I am an idiot…StewPid rather than StewPendous…I’ll take it like a man. And the $G goes to Maoman for my false accusation.

11

Okay, if we can get passed my goof, I shall go on with the real thread.

[quote=“tmwc”]
Er, Stew, since when have lumps of rock bathed in thermonuclear radiation been living breathing entities?[/quote]

Trees breathe, animals live.

By taking more than we leave. By using more than we need. We are the only ones on this planet that do so.

As you are tmwc, you are more than welcome to try. Taipei 101 would be a good place to start. :wink: I rather think you would self-zap tho’.

Why yes I am. I am referring to both “balance of nature” and “crap”. All other animals eat what they need and crap out some fine fertilizer so they can continue to get what they need to eat. Born, Eat, Crap, Eat, Crap, Death. Sounds very balanced to me.

Yes there is. Me!

[quote=“tmwc”]Hey, did you know that there is fossil evidence of dinosaurs surviving for several MILLION years after the alleged meteor strike that is supposed to have wiped them out. Wow! And people have modelled the way that species suddenly go extinct for no apparent reason, in accordance with the real laws of nature.

Another theory I read, unlikely but interesting none the less, is that the disappearance of the dinosaurs coincides with the evolution of grass. If dinosaurs had evolved eating ferns then they probably would not have been able to digest grass, but grass is a pretty good survivor and is able to displace the ferns. Result: the dinosaurs starved to death.

The most important law of nature is ‘survival of the fittest.’ Fitness is defined as the ability to survive. Survival of the survivors, that’s all. Human dominance is totally in accord with the laws of nature.[/quote]

Ummmm…blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!

Apparently, I just did. :wink:

12

[quote=“Huang Guang Chen”]And a certain someone posted this:

Here:

http://forumosa.com/3/viewtopic.php?t=5219&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=15

. . . and dragged it into the light this afternoon.

Itching to be caught.

HG[/quote]

I stand amazed. You can stay. You at least get a “Get out of Zapping Free” card.

13

Will you be saving the Toes ?

14

Of course. We must use (eat) everything. Maybe a lovely Toe Stew?

15

Balance of nature is a myth. Dinosaurs proved that. Nature is a dynamic unstable system, otherwise we would have achieved ‘balance’ at the slime mould stage and never gone any further. Balance is stasis. Balance is an end to evolution or change.

Me, I like having arms and legs and Bacardi and hot sweaty sex. Beats being a single-celled creature swimming around in your own excrement.

Sure, but you are talking about the planet as an entity rather than home to living breathing entities. The planet is a system, not an entity. It’s not alive, and it doesn’t breathe.

Come around and watch my cat kill for pleasure. Go swim in the ocean next time there’s a red tide as the result of algae overbreeding. Take a trip up north and watch the lemmings. Talk to the mosquitoes about whether they really need to come back for yet more of my blood.

Why do rabbits have to have so many babies? Why do elephants uproot so many trees they have no intention of eating? Do magpies really need all those shiny things they collect? Watch plants (grass and ferns!) compete, ruthlessly, for space. What exactly does a virus get out of life other than mindless reproduction and pillaging of it’s environment anyway?

People are animals, part of the same system. All we do is what all living things do - we take what we can get and we reproduce. Mindless, pointless, stupid it may be but come down off your high horse and abandon your judeo-christian belief that humanity is somehow separate from nature.

People too. Me, anyway. Don’t you crap? Aren’t you going to die? I don’t see your point here. The human race is drowning in it’s own excrement.

Saw a poster outside a church back in blighty once. Two goldfish talking and one saying “There must be a god, who else is going to change the water?” A little while later I had a tremendous row with a woman who didn’t worry about environmental destruction because “I believe the kingdom of god will be re-established on Earth in my lifetime, and all will be made anew.”

I have no idea what I’m trying to say here, but I’m feeling argumentative. Toe Stew for lunch. Yummy.

16

I always liked that tee-shirt of the little kid talking to the stern-faced religious zealot: “Aren’t you a little old to have an imaginary friend?” :slight_smile:

Stew, your writing style was distinctive enough in your first (and so far only :slight_smile: ) post that I was pretty sure it was you. You should ask Nancy Wu for some multiple-personality writing lessons. :slight_smile:

17

Forget balance of nature, what we need is a ‘Balance of Selfishness’. Yes, we need to be just selfish enough to want to preserve the world for use and enjoyment by humans. And seeing as humans like to have animals, unpolluted rivers and other 'natural stuff around (and of course need to preserve an ecosystem that will feed us, and an environment that will protect us) we need to save those too. On the other hand, we don’t wnat to be so selfish that we only care about our current generation, our own country or our own family. That’s the balance of selfishness.

Anyway I think that if you exclude the rapacious exploiting class of CEOs etc, the rest of the world would have a pretty good consensus that we shoudl be trying to preserve our environment, whether your reasons are, new-agey, religious, practical, selfish or what.

Now what I’m seeing is my grandchildren (well grand-nephews and nieces or something) looking back at me and my generation in 50 years time (on the massive offchance that I’m lucky enough to live that long) and saying “man you guys, really screwed it up. The world’s totally fucked now and it’s too late to fix. Why the hell didn’t you do anything about it. It’s not like you didn’t know things were getting really bad. What do you mean it wasn’t you personally who fucked it up? It’s not like you did anything to stop it.” That’s going to happen man. Can you live with the guilt?

Brian

18

tmwc, all good points except all those flora and fauna naturally de-select each other…humans don’t do it fast enough…don’t overthink the Stew World Order…it’s main purpose is to thin the herd…give us suggestions on how to better accomplish it than by eliminating all non-sectarians…

CEO’s will be humbled in the Stew World Order…rest assured…they may be allowed to make my morning coffee…but little else less their “expertise” prove valuable…

Sir Donald, your sentiment is excellent, you terminology suspect…selflessness is the mantra of the day…yes…the idea is to preserve the planet beyond the next 2 generations…if thinking that selfishness can accomplish this then I believe you are misguided…we cannot think of ourselves…at all…ergo…selflessness…

I have been tempted to Zap you both…but I am enormous…I can contain contradiction…(Thx Uncle Walt)…you may continue…but tread carefully…

19

If anything, this thread has produced a coupla of neat statements… two I like are as follows:

20

I agree 100%. I always point to ants that build huge cities or engage in ant agriculture by cultivating plants or tending to other insects or who seek to war on and conquer other ants or insects… ditto for termites and bees/wasps…

And I have long believed that whales (and perhaps some other animals also) are more intelligent than humans… They seem to understand our language… yet we’re still trying to figure out what they are saying to each other.

I think its written/commented on in the Daodejing:

“Because you do not understand another person does not make that other person confused”…

Something like that.