Okay. I swear to god I am the dumbest human alive.
I have this routine. I see “Pizza” I go “Oh! Pizza” and then I make the mistake of going and buying one.
And it works the EXACT WAY every single time.
See, I’m allergic to cheese. And in the US of A I have absolutely NO problems AT ALL ordering 100 cheese-less pizzas every 5 minutes. But here in Taiwan the bastards absolutely REFUSE to give it to me without cheese.
My brother, the wise man, says that anger is a reaction to the reality not meeting your expectations. If this is true, then certain things should NOT piss a person off. I know damned well the old lady on the bus behind me is going to damned near push me over when it gets to her stop, even if we are the only two people standing and there is 5 feet of room for her to walk around me. I know damned well that the people outside the MRT doors are going to push their way in before any of us have a chance to get off. I know the toothless wanker behind me is going to try to push his shit in front of mine at the grocer.
None of this sets me off.
But somehow I have still not figured out that I am not going to be able to get a freaking pizza without cheese.
And it seems that every single time I try, I get angrier than the last time. I mean those angry moments when you are humiliated that you were so angry. That kind of angry.
over pizza.
Over and over again.
So.
Anyone else?
What is the absolutely stupid thing that you STILL get set off about, even though you should know by now??
Stupid things that piss me off are people, and there are many stupid ones out here in Taipei county and beyond. For example, I was driving the car down a narrow one way street last night, which is parallel to another one way street travelling the other direction, separated by about ten metres. A normal dimwitted scooter rider stopped at the end of my street, waiting to come down it and I purposely slowed down to a crawl hoping to make him realise both that he shouldn’t be travelling the wrong way, but also that it would be quicker to travel the immense distance of an extra ten metres in order to follow the appropriate flow of traffic down the other street. As I got to the end though, he was still there waiting (insert moaning, spasticated, mentaly inhibited sound), so I put the window down and asked him if he knew he was going to travel the wrong way down a one way street and he says “I know its a one way street”! Dumb ass Chung-Ho-ren. They really do hack me off. The thing that makes someone stupid is not their failure to realise an answer to a challenge, its when they know the answer, but keep on doing it wrong anyway.
This morning I could have taken a bat to a BMW that whilst being five cars behind an intersection that was full and blocked with traffic, continually sounded its horn. I really didn’t know that BMW had invented such a remarkable technology that by the use of sound alone could defuse traffic congestion. His musn’t have been working properly though as after five full minutes of sounding, nothing had happened.
[quote=“SuchAFob”]See, I’m allergic to cheese. And in the US of A I have absolutely NO problems AT ALL ordering 100 cheese-less pizzas every 5 minutes. But here in Taiwan the bastards absolutely REFUSE to give it to me without cheese.
But somehow I have still not figured out that I am not going to be able to get a freaking pizza without cheese.
Over and over again.[/quote]
A little off topic, but to answer your question…I don’t do pizza with cheese either, so whenever I go to Taipei and feel the urge, I just hit Alleycats.
[quote=“sulavaca”]
This morning I could have taken a bat to a BMW that whilst being five cars behind an intersection that was full and blocked with traffic, continually sounded its horn. I really didn’t know that BMW had invented such a remarkable technology that by the use of sound alone could defuse traffic congestion. His musn’t have been working properly though as after five full minutes of sounding, nothing had happened.[/quote]
You know, I can handle traffic as long as there isn’t a billion horn symphony playing. When people start that constant honking shit I just want a Dr. Evil style laser to shoot them up with.
The honking after waiting a whole nanosecond when the light changes from red to green annoys the bejesus outa me.
But what really sets me off are the wankers who think it’s their god-given right to overtake on the right hand side of the road in the scooter lane (which entails crossing over the solid white line) and then proceed to throw a hissy fit when you don’t let them cut you off, so they get behind you and then tailgate the shit outa you. This goes for the wankers who do the same when you overtake them…
[quote=“rob_the_canuck”]The honking after waiting a whole nanosecond when the light changes from red to green annoys the bejesus outa me.
But what really sets me off are the wankers who think it’s their god-given right to overtake on the right hand side of the road in the scooter lane (which entails crossing over the solid white line) and then proceed to throw a hissy fit when you don’t let them cut you off, so they get behind you and then tailgate the shit outa you. This goes for the wankers who do the same when you overtake them…[/quote]
I had a F’ing Volvo driver doing that to me at 90+Kph on the highway yesterday, I slammed on the brakes momentarily, causing him to panic and then he started blaring his horn at me, overtook me and slowed down just to piss me off, but didn’t as I was quite comfortable at the speed he slowed down to. After about twenty seconds he decided I wasn’t worth it and took off.
I find myself getting more and more violent towards these F’kers. Yesterday I was crossing my local Zebra crossing with my kid in my arms and as I was half way across, a scooter comes and starts to cut me up. I purposely kept traveling at the same pace and stuck my elbow in between the two on the scooter, pushing them away to one side. They just carried on looking back with blank expressions. I was in half a mind to call in a hit and run, but, then I did carry on walking into them on purpose. I don’t think for an instant that the F’kwitts got the message though, as most people around here are stupid.
Isn’t it funny that those people are initially in a rush but then have suddenly all the time in the world to “entertain” you?
I need to practice a lot of restraint, pushed a scooter driver once that nearly run over my feet when I was crossing the road. He didn’t fall though but wasn’t amused. There actually is a risk that it backfires one day - flipped the finger once to a lorry driver that nearly run me over and he showed me his sledge hammer. I got the message.
I’d love to take him on if he has a sledge hammer. I’m sure anyone would have him before he got his first swing in.
Anyway, you are right. I kicked a van that almost ran me and my kid over at the same zebra, cutting us up as all the other f’kers do around here. He got out and wanted to beat me up, following me down the road, even as I was holding my kid. It was only his face loosing that saved me, as everyone backed up behind his driverless vehicle was blasting their horns, wanting the twat to move his heap. He still yelled out the obligatory “I know where you live” line though. Not that I believed for an instant that he would be spritely enough to manage our six flights of stairs, or that he would be bothered after sitting his fat ass on his sofa and turning on his brain box, with a box full of bing-lang and a bottle of Wispy. F’king grunts!
So far, only had one idiot try to make anything of it, but seemed to change his mind in a hurry. Still, I’m sure one of these days I’ll bite off more than I can chew.
But still, doesn’t that just go to show you the maturity of the majority of these people that they are willing to stop all traffic and pick a fight with you because you critized them for doing something wrong.
I lapped up the oportunity today to shout full in the face of a police officer and call him a F’ing Richard, and a stupid idiot today for riding his motorcycle across a zebra crossing, that was most clearly posted with a “No motorcycles” sign outside of Taipei Gym (Gong-Gwan). I was so pissed after recently making my recent traffic video about terrible Taiwanese roads and the almost total lawlesness, I couldn’t hold my feelings back any longer, especially at the very fool that’s supposed to encourage, inform and apply the law onto everyone else. I thought that he was either going to shoot me, ask for my papers and book me (Oh! Please DO, I was thinking) or do what he ended up doing, which was drop his head and mumble “Ju-dao, ju-dao” as he rode off.
[quote=“SuchAFob”]Okay. I swear to god I am the dumbest human alive.
I have this routine. I see “Pizza” I go “Oh! Pizza” and then I make the mistake of going and buying one.
And it works the EXACT WAY every single time.
See, I’m allergic to cheese. And in the US of A I have absolutely NO problems AT ALL ordering 100 cheese-less pizzas every 5 minutes. But here in Taiwan the bastards absolutely REFUSE to give it to me without cheese.
My brother, the wise man, says that anger is a reaction to the reality not meeting your expectations. If this is true, then certain things should NOT piss a person off. I know damned well the old lady on the bus behind me is going to damned near push me over when it gets to her stop, even if we are the only two people standing and there is 5 feet of room for her to walk around me. I know damned well that the people outside the MRT doors are going to push their way in before any of us have a chance to get off. I know the toothless wanker behind me is going to try to push his shit in front of mine at the grocer.
None of this sets me off.
But somehow I have still not figured out that I am not going to be able to get a freaking pizza without cheese.
And it seems that every single time I try, I get angrier than the last time. I mean those angry moments when you are humiliated that you were so angry. That kind of angry.
over pizza.
Over and over again.
So.
Anyone else?
What is the absolutely stupid thing that you STILL get set off about, even though you should know by now??[/quote]
and MORDETH13 complains on youtube bitterly about the tiny amount of cheese he gets on HIS pizzas???
It isn’t JUST the cheese. There is almost no ssauce. If I get a cheese pizza in the US I can peel off the cheese and still have sauce. Yummmmy pizza sauce. But here if I peel off the cheese, no sauce.
I went to Cain’s tonight. Yummmmyyyyy…
[quote=“kcs”]wow so many… i am not alone…
but why u guys live here? if there is so much more worse than in your homecountry ?
may i ask that ?[/quote]
Of course you may. The reasons most of us live in Taiwan are;
wives, girlfriends, boyfriends and husbands who are Taiwanese and not willing or able to move to our home countries.
foreign companies send their employees to Taiwan on short term contracts.
there is an enormous and inexhaustable market for English teachers, writers and translators and it’s fun to live in another culture for a while.
it’s also a good place to learn Chinese, as long as you stay away from the ‘schools’
90% of people decide within a couple of years that they SHOULD go back to their own countries. A few LOVE it here/have mental problems and stay for ever.
Many things are much much worse in my home country; the traffic, policing, corruption, animal cruelty and pollution are horrible. Many things are better, such as the lack of property crime, investment in public transport amongst others. However, for many overseas’ people, the traffic is one of the most disgusting things in Taiwan. Taiwanese people are killing themselves and eachother in huge numbers for a lack of basic safety awareness. It’s not ‘anti-Taiwan’ to say this; we are just sick of seeing you guys dead on the streets…
Don’t take this thread too seriously; it’s called 'the stupidest thing… ’ It’s a humourous thread about ‘the little things’ that annoy us. Personally it’s people who use speakerphone to make calls in my open plan office. I hate them all and want them to die. And people who write emails even though they sit 5 feet away from you. People who talk at 7000 Db in the office. And people who leave stupid Post-its with smiley faces drawn on them on my desk.
And Taiwanese pizza is completely inedible. It’s disgusting. Really. Taiwanese people, you don’t really eat that do you?
[quote=“kcs”]wow so many… i am not alone…
but why u guys live here? if there is so much more worse than in your homecountry ?
may i ask that ?[/quote]kcs -
My health. I came for the waters.
It appears I was misinformed.
