Absolute arsewipe. There is no gold standard of Taiwanese mandarin. There’s just different levels of Taiwan guoyu and a bunch of Waishenren who pretend to speak all hoighty toighty. Are you the child of some KMT cadre who crossed the straits in '49? It’d explain a lot…
I, myself, use the “hei” particle religiously. 
i thought you lived and was reared in the US?
You seem to know a lot about Taiwan.
Yet uneducated on Taiwan girls. hmmmm…
I have often been thought that I could speak taiwanese by locals. Is it due to my strange accent?
Just because I was reared in the U.S. doesn’t mean I don’t know stuff about Taiwan. Cumulatively, I have definitely spent over a year in Taiwan, accounting for all the months of summer vacation during my childhood. I watch Taiwanese television shows and news all the time. I also speak with my family. I was recently doing research on the topic of Taiwanese Mandarin accents and watched several news clips and shows about this. I concluded that I spoke with the Taipei dialect. I am not the son of a KMT soldier that retreated to Taiwan in 1949. That wouldn’t be my generation, since I am in my 20s.
The Taipei accent is the golden standard of Mandarin in the sense it is the most understandable and spoken by people of the capital. Just like Beijing Mandarin is considered more prestigious than Guangzhou Mandarin. For instance, CCTV on the Mainland uses broadcasters who speak with the Beijing accent. Likewise, Taiwanese broadcasters use the Taipei accent and not the Tainan accent.
I have relatives (regardless of age) from the south who use the “hei” particle even when speaking Mandarin, which I never hear among Taipei citizens. It’s very easy to spot a youngster who is from 外縣市 (other county/city), versus a native. Even though I wasn’t raised in Taipei, I still consider myself a native to an extent, given the amount of time I’ve spent there. My cousins who moved from the countryside still struggle to adapt here, while I just breeze through everything.
That’s a very unfortunate choice of words. I’m assuming your Mandarin is better than your English. 
Low-class foreigner. 
Plenty of Taipeiers use “hei.” I think this is more an indication of the circles you run in than any linguistic reality.
Would this be the equivalent of “general, non-specific American”
And many Taipei citizens do speak taiwanese at home.
Yes, although less and less as time goes by.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ok so that is settled then, grandson rooter outer.
I’m struggling to understand what “breeze through everything” means. Do you mean doors magically open for you when people hear your beautiful mandarin?
Here’s a nice song for your cousins who 來去ed台北打拼…
Yes, the doors open with my Taipei Mandarin. What I should add is that even though I’ve grown up overseas, I’m well acquainted with Taipei - where to shop, eat, have fun, etc. But my countryside cousins who have been here for 1, 2+ years still seem to have no clue. There’s definitely a learning curve.
I guess it remains to be seen whether the legs will open too.
I’m sure your countryside cousins would appreciate it if you’d be so nice as to show them the ropes.
Which doors? National People’s Congress?
but don’t know Taipei girls? 
Maybe we could adjust that to “not very well acquainted with own narrative” or maybe “very well acquainted with inconsistent narrative style”
I think this has to on the top of the list of the funniest comment you’ve ever wrote.
Not really. They just like whatever accent they hear most. It was popular to copy Taiwanese accent at one point when they watched Taiwanese dramas. Mao and Deng xiaoping had pretty heavy hunan and Sichuan accents. The cctv accent is not really like how many Beijingers speak. They don’t put as much emphasis on the heavy R at the end making it less harsh on the ears.
Must be because I wasn’t trying to be funny. 