Have you ever caught yourself doing something you
I’ve thrown a couple of elbows at scooter boys–while driving. The second time we we headed in opposite directions and I had a sure-fire bead on him. I only pulled back because I realized that having his teeth embedded in my elbow would be more trouble than it’s worth.
Politeness boarding trains, the MRT, buses? Gone. Granny wants to make a dash past me? Ha! Nasty old bastard wants to raise a ruckus about cutting in line? Couple of hockey sticks waved under his nose will take care of that.
Every few months in Taiwan I make myself reread “Heart of Darkness.” As I do so, I tell myself, “Don’t kill the natives. Kurtz is bad. Don’t kill the natives. Kurtz is bad.”
Yeah, it’s something I have to remind myself of now and then. But remaining polite (and safe) is a lot easier if we just remember to set out 10 minutes early so that we have time to yield to others, slow down a bit, and remain sane and unstressed.
I have not ridden my bicycle in a month because I ran over some chick.
I was riding down the street and she was NOT IN FRONT OF ME, but I said 對不起 just to let her know I was passing by. She turns, looks horrified, and then JUMPS IN FRONT OF ME. When I say she jumps in front of me, I mean she went from being completely out of the way of even my handle bars to being under my wheels. I ran her over and, of course, fell down myself.
That’s not why I have not ridden my bike. The fact that I called her a moron, got back on my bike, and drove off pissed at how stupid she was is why I have not ridden my bike. I am clearly not the right person to ride a bike in this city.
I could NEVER picture myself doing something like this at home. But at home if I want to be alone, I don’t have to stay in my house all day. I think the reason Taiwan makes people crazy is that you never get to be alone.
Gee…your avatar says it all.
No worries - at least your twigged to it. Most never do…
I love it when you wait for the elevator how everyone seems to thank you for pushing the button by pushing you aside.
Tash, JOIN US. Throw away your membership card to ‘Los Veselinos’ and join “The Gushing Wooshies.” Me, The Chief, and Bubba2guns will welcome you with open arms. You can have your very own bat, and we will name you “Lord Darth Tash,” in honour of your transformation to the ‘right side’ of the force.
May your brain be with you.
Hey! I’m the one who runs people over. Why don’t I get to join.
Please join up. See The Chief for membership.
Yo, Chief. You know you want me to join.
Ah, well, see, there’s a policy issue…
Sorry, my hands are tied…
That is top class. Please add a nail to your bat.
I couldn’t go anyway if the meetings are held in a church. I would burst into flames.
I love the smell of burning chimps in the morning…smells like…ennui…banana-flavoured ennui…
[quote=“TomHill”]Tash, JOIN US. Throw away your membership card to ‘Los Veselinos’ and join “The Gushing Wooshies.” Me, The Chief, and Bubba2guns will welcome you with open arms. You can have your very own bat, and we will name you “Lord Darth Tash,” in honour of your transformation to the ‘right side’ of the force.
May your brain be with you.[/quote]
I first wanna see what kind of outfit I’d get.
[quote=“tash”]… I brushed past a pedestrian. I didn
Can I get in? Everyone needs a little sand in their vaseline.
[quote=“tash”][quote=“tash”]… I brushed past a pedestrian. I didn
You’re right, that IS funnier!
I guess, what you’re saying is that my life would be a lot more exciting if I joined the Wooshing Gushies, right? I’m sure it would, too. But, I won’t.
Let me know when the movie comes out, will ya?