The Rock. I just saw Walking Tall and I thought, “This guy is James Bond.”
If I could produce one James Bond movie, I’d make it a comedy. Bond is censured for sexual harassment and forced to undergo sensitivity training. There the psychologist who convinces him that he is a sexaholic, and persuades him to go one month “cold turkey,” in order to preserve some hope of a normal relationship someday.
The villain of the piece would be a TV evangelist who runs a chastity promotion movement. But really, he is using all that bottled-up sexual energy for tantric mystical purposes, to take over the world.
The big sexy scene would be bond and his sweetheart-for-now passionately wrapping their fingers around one another’s, then the camera zooms back and we see that they are sharing a milkshake at the soda shop and gazing into one another’s eyes.
They could advertise the movie as taking Bond into sexual situations he’s never been in before (namely celebacy).
ts wrote:
She doesn’t do it for me, although she as a body. If the acting job was between her and a pet rock, it would be a toss-up.
Does anyone else favor a thinking-man’s Bond film? A real gripping, suspenseful kind of “Seven” or something that has Bond in really grave circumstances instead of some Austin Powers sort of problem?
I really think you could make a hell of a movie if they stopped making Bond a stenciled cutout.
Good. He’s too short and too pretty.
The “thinking-man’s Bond”? That’s a bit like talking about the thinking man’s Batman. No matter what you do to it, the concept will always require a basic suspension of disbelief.
[quote=“wolf_reinhold”]ts wrote:
She doesn’t do it for me, although she as a body. If the acting job was between her and a pet rock, it would be a toss-up.
Does anyone else favor a thinking-man’s Bond film? A real gripping, suspenseful kind of “Seven” or something that has Bond in really grave circumstances instead of some Austin Powers sort of problem?
I really think you could make a hell of a movie if they stopped making Bond a stenciled cutout.[/quote]
Act? ACT? You gotta be kidding me. What Bond girl acts? Ok…Joanna Lumley can rock the boards…but Ms. Andress ain’t no mystic in the theatre. And Halle can act. She just wasn’t required to in TND.
Speaking of acting…don’t you think Keifer really phones in his performance in Phone Booth? 
The whole point of a Bond girl is to look great in a bikini…Ann Margaret was always a close second to Ursula, but Halle oh Halle…
Damn…I have to excuse myself again. Talk about keyboard sputem…aieyo…
On the other hand , I do agree that a more realistic depiction of all the books is in order. So, how would you do it? You can have any director, dead or alive to direct it. Who would you hire? What actors to play Bond/Villian/Girl…???
Let’s see…Do Moonraker over again…I remember reading the book a million years ago and the movie was so pretenious…god I hate Roger Moore…so my casting would be…Sam Peckinpaw/Daniel Day Lewis/ Anthony Hopkins/Jill Hennessy
And I screwed up an earlier post. Guy Ritchie didn’t direct Mean Machine. And it wasn’t that great…weak plot lines and footie ain’t football.
Tim Burton could do it as long as he leaves Johnny Depp at home. Yes, Tim Burton directs the Rock in the best Bond film ever.
Lucky for you, I can help complete your casting. Let’s make your hero your villain… and bring along that sumptious number from Weird Science.
So, you’d have:
Spock, The Rock and Kelly LeBrock
Just think of the poster…
I don’t know about casting, but I still believe that left to his own devices, John Woo could produce a spectacular, intelligent, and well-crafted Bond movie.
Unfortunately, there’d be no chance of him being left to his own devices, so it’d just end up being a moderately entertaining no-brainer like Mission Impossible 2.
Sean Connery first. He was a competitive bodybuilder in his early days. It does not say much for his intellect but pairs up with that competent look he still portrays in movies such as The Rock.
Pierce Brosnan? He strikes me as an individual who would fold in a real life situation requiring any form of bravery where he would prefer to dash off to the hairdresser. Less believable as such.
Russel Crowe has some of the Sean Connery thing going on. Maybe I am biased as he comes from Australia via NZ!
Figure it this way. You are in a real life live or die situation. Who would you want with you to fix the bad guys?
Russel Crowe was good as a gladiator, but he’s not that polished. Very masculine, but that “flair” “elan” or whatever you would call it, which is needed for the role… Hmmm I have my doubts.
Also, the guy has already won 2 oscars… james Bond would be a step down for him.