The Weight of the World...(People Problem)

…is too heavy for one man’s shoulders.

Can you help me lighten up the load?

People suck. People are mean. People are selfish. People will walk all over you if you have what they want, and even if you don’t.

Sometimes I deal with it well, other times, I don’t.

Spare me the speech the like of “all my friends are great people”, etc. I’m not saying there are no good souls out there, but don’t they seem to be few and far apart?

Spare me the speech the like of “it’s all in your head” or “your world is what you make of it” or better yet, “get some help.” Make what you want of the world, it’s a pretty nasty place to live, and if you take a good look around, you’ll see a lot of suffering, misery, desperation, etc. Most of the misery people(and animals) go through is a direct result of people’s actions. We screw things up, we make it hard on each other.

Can you share with me, and others, how you lighten up your load? What methods/approach do you use to live happily in a world filled with so much negativity? How do you balance things out? How do you make a right, when so much is wrong?

Just wondering. I’m a bit down today, and I came to think of this topic. Please don’t prove me right.

Well I believe happiness derives from:

  1. The satisfaction gained from refining what it is you love doing to perfection. Repeat infinidum.
  2. Helping others achieve 1)

What do I do to light up the world? Sometimes its a simple as giving someone I don’t know a big smile from within…you know the kind of smile that squints your eyes and flashes your teeth. It really can light up someone’s day, and it costs you nothing.

I don’t think I can put it better than Tycoon, I think he’s exactly right. And whenever I feel like you are right now, I think focusing on number 2 is key.

From what I’ve seen on your recent posts on this board, you’ve already got that taken care of. You put forth a lot of effort in trying to help others. You say it feels like the weight of the world is on you - I think anyone who feels such a strong need to help other people (or animals hehe) can at times let their philanthropy get out of hand. And I think since our hearts are bigger than our ability to create requisite change, the inevitable result is pressure and frustration.

But if you ask me, this kind of frustration is fundamentally different, and much more temporary than being depressed for self-serving reasons. It is precisely because the world is a shithole that you are to be commended for working to… well… clean up the shit. So stand back, remind yourself of the how much good you have put into the world, take a deep breat, and get back at it. :slight_smile:

I live for my family first, my friends second, and everyone else third. I don’t recognize anyone as an enemy, even if I suspect that they may not be too crazy about me. I talk to my dog often. I get at least 6 hours sleep every day. I don’t stress out over little things. I think I’m a pretty happy guy most of the time. :slight_smile:

We all suck from time to time, but usually manage to forget about our own faults. Forgetting about others’ tends to take some doing.

Care for yourself. Not in the crass, contemporary, “Look after Number One,” way. Do so thoughtfully; soulfully. Tend to yourself; be your better self. It makes dealing with others on their off days easier.

“If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am I? And if not now, when?”–Rabbi Hillel.

I used to have the same ideals about people. They are xyz. But I got tired of it as it resulted in isolation. So, i just came to the point where I stopped judging others. I still didn’t care for what many did but at least I wasn’t so emotionally caught up.

Pray always works for me when it gets tough. But laughter has always been the cure.

Try to create a space in your day where you laugh hard and long. I guarantee you’ll feel better. :smiley:

Also try to have gratitude for what you have. When you focus on what you do have or what people are(as oppose to what they aren’t) it will get better.

Drink vast quantities of booze.

“Empty prayer, empty mouths, combien reaction.
Empty prayer, empty mouths, talk about the passion.
Not everyone can carry the weight of the world,
Not everyone can carry the weight of the world . . .”

Talk about the Passion–R.E.M.

[quote=“Namahottie”]I used to have the same ideals about people. They are xyz. But I got tired of it as it resulted in isolation. So, i just came to the point where I stopped judging others. I still didn’t care for what many did but at least I wasn’t so emotionally caught up.

Also try to have gratitude for what you have. When you focus on what you do have or what people are(as oppose to what they aren’t) it will get better.[/quote]

Thanks, Nama.

I’m not sure that awareness of what the world is capable of is the same as judging others. :wink:

Never for a moment do we lay aside our mistrust of the ideals established by society, and of the convictions which are kept by it in circulation. We always know that society is full of folly and will deceive us in the matter of humanity. […] humanity meaning consideration for the existence and the happiness of individual human beings.

Maoman,

True philosophy must start from the most immediate and comprehensive fact of consciousness: ‘I am life that wants to live, in the midst of life that wants to live’. -Albert Schweitzer

Thanks for the replies, the pms, and the kind words. It’s a beautiful summer day here today, and it’s the holidays! :slight_smile: Feeling better now. I was just a bit down yesterday. It happens sometimes.

Happy New Year!

Yes, but:

The society which scorns excellence in plumbing because plumbing is a humble activity, and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because philosophy is an exalted activity, will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy. Neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water. - John W. Gardner

Try Havidol.

http://www.havidol.com/

[quote=“Maoman”][quote=“bobepine”]Maoman,

True philosophy must start from the most immediate and comprehensive fact of consciousness: ‘I am life that wants to live, in the midst of life that wants to live’. -Albert Schweitzer[/quote]
Yes, but:

The society which scorns excellence in plumbing because plumbing is a humble activity, and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because philosophy is an exalted activity, will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy. Neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water. - John W. Gardner[/quote]

Good reply. :slight_smile:

[i]Schweitzer himself pointed out, it is neither impossible nor difficult to spend a life of not following it: the history of world philosophies and religions clearly shows many instances of denial of the principle of reverence for life.

The will to live is naturally both parasitic and antagonistic towards other forms of life. Only in the thinking being has the will to live become conscious of other will to live, and desirous of solidarity with it.[/i]- Albert Shweitzer

[quote]Try Havidol.

havidol.com/[/quote]Thanks for adding perspective to what I’m saying. Happy New Year, Fox.

Yes, but:

The society which scorns excellence in plumbing because plumbing is a humble activity, and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because philosophy is an exalted activity, will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy. Neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water. - John W. Gardner[/quote]

Did John Gardner spend some time in Taiwan?

It is good that time is a light, because so much of life is mumbling shadows and the future is just silence and darkness. But time passes, time’s torch illuminates, it finds connections, it makes sense of confusion, it reveals the truth. And you hardly know the oddness of life until you have lived a little. Then you get it. You are older, looking back. For a period you understand, and you can say you see it all clearly. I remember everthing.

Opening lines from Paul Theroux’s novel about his friendship with V.S. Naipaul.

Get over it

  • The Eagles

[quote=“Fox”]It is good that time is a light, because so much of life is mumbling shadows and the future is just silence and darkness. But time passes, time’s torch illuminates, it finds connections, it makes sense of confusion, it reveals the truth. And you hardly know the oddness of life until you have lived a little. Then you get it. You are older, looking back. For a period you understand, and you can say you see it all clearly. I remember everthing.

Opening lines from Paul Theroux’s novel about his friendship with V.S. Naipaul.[/quote]

I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance. -Socrates

[quote=“bobepine”][quote=“Namahottie”]I used to have the same ideals about people. They are xyz. But I got tired of it as it resulted in isolation. So, i just came to the point where I stopped judging others. I still didn’t care for what many did but at least I wasn’t so emotionally caught up.

Also try to have gratitude for what you have. When you focus on what you do have or what people are(as oppose to what they aren’t) it will get better.[/quote]

Thanks, Nama.

I’m not sure that awareness of what the world is capable of is the same as judging others. :wink:[/quote]

Being aware of what people are capable of and judging is different. IMO. When you know what people are capable of you are in the powerful position to make a choice.

When you’re judging, you’re in the weak position of being affected by their choices.

I’m certain that you want to be powerful. :smiley:

Think about how many lives you’ve already made a difference to. Think about how many lives you can still potentially change for the better.

Think about how immense, sublime, diverse, tragic, ectsatic, depressing, invigorating, inspiring, challenging and rewarding this rollercoaster ride through this vast world is.

Yeah, the world can be a terrible place sometimes, people can be utter scumbags (very often), but there are moments that make all of the suffering worthwhile… Just savour those, embrace the entirity of the experience, do as much as you can to enact positive change and you’ll be well on your way.

PS - beer helps things greatly! :beer:

Bobepine,
Sounds like you’re starting to work through the “weight of the world” feelings you were experiencing last week. I’m glad. I think it is not uncommon for us all to have moments like those. Here’s a huge hug for ya - I’m a bear hugger so get ready - this is a full-contact sport - we’re cheek to cheek, breast to breast, and I’ve got you in a firm yet caring embrace - feeling the love yet?

Some of the things I find that help “fill up my cup” when it’s half full/empty are:

  1. Talk to a good friend.
  2. Go for a walk or ride into the countryside, and feel small in the awesomeness and immensity of the natural world.
  3. Read some inspiring literature.
  4. Ignore the T.V., newspapers, radio for a few days.
  5. Get adequate rest.
  6. Eat healthily, and hydrate well.
  7. Play with children or animals.
  8. Reach out to someone in need.
  9. Exert myself physically, exercise regularly.
  10. Listen to some good music, something I find inspirational and beautiful.
  11. Take a long hot soak in the bath.
  12. Try to be aware of the negative thoughts that are bouncing around in my head, understand why and where they’re coming from, let them go.
  13. BELIEVE, HOPE that as ugly as the world may be, co-existing with that ugliness is immense beauty, goodness, and love.

These are some of the things I have tried in my own struggle with the world to cope with that feeling of burden and heaviness. When these fail, there is also a pint of ale, a doobie or Havidol (or some other prescription from the MD) to make it all better (JK! :wink: ).

Sending love your way, Bobe

Bodo

bobepine, the answers are found here:

www.zombo.com

Don’t underestimate it’s power.