"the wife"

Is it acceptable to say "the wife" when talking about your partner?

  • yes
  • no

0 voters

I don’t need to be a female (which I’m not) to find this term both sexist and derogatory, and yet a number of male (presumably) posters use this very expression in this forum.

It’s the that is perhaps offensive, as opposed to my wife or partner. It seems to convey a sense of ownership or unfamiliarity: “I went for a walk with the wife/the dog or my wife/my dog/my partner or the child/my child” Surely my is preferable to the. Perhaps some posters are using it for comic effect, but their repetitious use of this phrase suggests otherwise.

By contrast, I can

Yes. I’d already noticed this phenomenon, but only pointed it out when The Big Babou wrote “the GF” in this thread, as I thought it was more trendy to use the definate article when talking about wives.
Funny, too, that women never use this ‘the husband’, ‘the BF’, and even as an endearment it’s usually ‘my old man’, ‘my man’. Funny.

To me, it sounds very cold not to claim ownership. Almost like ‘the wife/gf’ is interchangeable and not having their own personaes.

This is a joke, right ?

Not as far as I’m concerned, Hexuan. Perhaps I’ve overlooked something, and you’d care to elaborate on why “it’s a joke.”?

Yep, the wife always claims ownership by saying “wo lao gong” this or that, when speaking to her friends. I don’t mind, nor should I.

But it’s much cooler to say “the wife,” when males gather, as is the case on Forumosa; as I’m sure there are 10 men to every woman on this site. One doesn’t want to sound like some nancy, doting husband on this predominantly male forum, now does one?

What does “my” suggest if not ownership? Anyway, I prefer to say “her indoors,” “the trouble” (and strife, geddit?) or just plain “wossername.” :wink:

Must go now, trouble on the dog.

I’m not sure about this one.
I’ll go ask the wife.

No complaints from my missus either :wink:

You’re missing an option: Only if you’re married.

Why on earth would anyone get upset about what someone calls the person they’re closest to? I suspect each husband in question knows better than anyone what would or would not upset his wife.

Personally, I’d be much more insulted if my wife called me her ‘partner’ than i would if she called me ‘her idiot husband’.

it’s just a slang xpression, no harm intended…

Oh dear :? , it seems there’s little place for terms of endearment. I guess I’ll have to be more careful.

If my use of the term “the GF” has raised anyone’s ire, then there’s a strong likelihood that the term “my GF” might offend others, as it seems to claim more ownership of a person. Now, if I was to be a little more p.c, perhaps I would refer to my girlfriend as “one’s partner”, as it gives no reference to gender and carries no ownership (thereby avoiding discrimination).

Sure, I was being a bit blokey when I wrote the term “the GF”. It’s a commonly used term in Australia that carries no offensive reference, and most Aussie blokes at times need to be blokey. In the general context of the story I’d written, it seemed (and still seems) like no big deal. Besides, my GF is her own person; she’s not at all bothered by the reference, which is the important thing. And, to appease those who might actually give a rat’s rectum about this thread, when talking with others, I generally use the term “my GF”…

So, if someone wants to claim that a commonly accepted term from one country could somehow be construed as being a little off-colour in their home country, then it perhaps indicates their own lack of cultural understanding, rather than my sexist bias, especially when put in context of reading the claim on an “international” forum.

Also, isn’t the term “my old man” more often used as a reference by a man to his father?


The Big Babou.

[quote=“Juba”]I prefer to say “her indoors,” [/quote] Ooh! 'Ark at 'im wif 'is hairs and graces! Why can’t you say it proper-like. “'Er indoors.”

Anyway, I usually find myself referring to the old ball and chain as “that bloody woman,” so what do I know?

Except for last night, when she made me mustard-crusted lamb cutlets, warm chickpea salad with fresh rosemary and a nice feta and olive salad. I do so love my sweet honeythighs.

Anyway, they’re all just terms of endearment. Even “that bloody woman.” Jojo got all bent out of shape the first time we went to Scotland – she hated being called “hen” by bus drivers, shopkeepers, etc.

Example: “Can I have a packet of Marlboro Lights please?”
“There ye go hen. That’ll be a hundred and twenty-seven pounds and thirty pence.”

It wasn’t until I explained that its just a term of comfortable familiarity among the older generation there that she cooled down.

I understand it’s just a show of solidarity, a ‘blokey’ thing, and no harm is meant, however it’s a bit sexist, innit?

As for ‘the wives’ not feeling offended by the term, perhaps it’s because they’re second language speakers and not exactly tuned in to the semantic nuances.

As for being an endearment, I can see that. But mainly I think it’s very old-fashioned, and shows inherrant signs of inequality between the sexes.
Men who disagree with this, find it a joke, or believe it’s too PC, are obviously in the right part of the world to perpetuate such monoliths their fathers and grandfathers passed down to them.

How would you like it if women use the term, ‘the stud’ when referring to male companions?

DON’T YOU ROLL YOUR EYES AT THIS, Sandman, Babou! :unamused:

Well, 1) Terms of endearment are one thing. Outright lies are quite another. :wink:

  1. I’d never call the old lady “the shag” or “the nympho,” so that argumetn is a bit flawed.

Anyway Fredericka, gimme a break and allow me my small freedoms – you know perfectly well who wears the trousers in my house!


Anyway Fredericka, gimme a break and allow me my small freedoms – you know perfectly well who wears the trousers in my house![/quote]

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
Just yankin yer &*@#!

I guess you could call her ‘my bitch’.

Perhaps one day… when I get tired of living!

I still call her “my girl” and she seems to like that very much.

My wife likes to be called “little sparrow”.

The calls me “my husband”, thus indicating ownership (of me, that is).

References to “the wife” suggest to me a tone of respect, or even deference, as in “the queen”, “the boss”, “the lord and master”, and so on.