This land is your land

If China transported its entire population to
North America (USA and Canada),
and all North Americans alternately occupied China, for fifty years:

What do you think would happen?

Same government, same people, different territory.

Hypothetically speaking,

I think Taiwan’s entire GDP would be based on the cultivation of “fab” pineapples (coincidentally, a delicacy in the north), which would be “swell” because it would be deemed to be too confusing for those Southerners to manage a complex economic structure. All Taiwanese people would be conveniently working for one central pineapple production company, which held a monopoly, and was coincidentally owned by its northern colonial imperialist friend.

The average monthly wage would be roughly equivalent to a “Big Mac”, and the unemployment rate would perhaps be equal to both life expectancy, annual inflation, and the level of illiteracy.

On the upside, the average Jo(se)'s level of English proficiency would be better, but this would of course be at the expense of any local language ability. This anomally could be indirectly related to the proportion of cheap B-grade second-run (northern) movies shown on TV, negating any need for local content.

Furthermore, we would surely seen an improvement in international relations. The Taiwanese government would likely be very friendly towards its northern ally; perhaps because any whisper of independence would be tantamount to a rebel insurgency that threatened the very future of global peace and democracy, and, for the protection of the entire universe, a defensive invasion - initiated by the “Northern Allies” (361 other countries would be coerced into action with a subtle bullyboy sledgehammer diplomacy), that was of course justifiably instigated by the mere whisper of anti-social pro-democratic change (interpreted by expert northern translators as being pseudo-fascist, quasi-communist, halal-zionist, fuedal-anarchic, “I’d rather have a Pepsi than a Coke” type of change) would therefore be in order.

During the following cultural purge, the virtues of the one true northern ally (there’s no need for allies if we’re not fighting) would be trumpeted loudly to all, while anything of value in the south would be stored safely in the north. At least some things wouldn’t change… World peace in that specific region would be assured, meaning that we could all breathe easily.

Status quo, I guess, except that the price of a “Big Mac” would inflate by 50% and the value of a pinapple decrease proportionately to cover the cost of the north’s annual “Spring clean” (mentioned above). Not the recent one, of course, but the one held 50 years ago that first brought “truth and justice in the American way…” to that savage land. It appears we still have some catching-up to do, but thank God for Superman.

So, “friends” it would be.

Jesus. What the hell was all that? Alien didn’t say anything about Taiwan. Where do you get your drugs Mr. Serious?

Interesting hypothetical…

In N. America:

All the national parks would be turned into farm land and factories

Fast food would finally taste OK

The multi-party system would become less complicated

Silicon valley would be full of tea houses instead of cafes

NAFTA would be re-negotiated

There would be no need for border police at the Rio Grande

Alaska would end up looking like Uzbekistan

Vancouver would look the same

In China:

The forbidden city would become a theme park

Mao would no longer feature in the square, he’d be replaced by a Victoria’s Secret billboard

The falong dafa would have less representation in psychiatric hospitals and labour camps

There would be even more Taiwanese businessmen living in Shanghai

Wealthy Taiwanese families wouldn’t dream of sending their sons to Harvard or Yale anymore

Yahoo’s obviously talkin’ 'bout the north/south thing. I get it… but wouldn’t expect any Seppos to quite grasp the idea, comprende, amigo?


By the way, Wolf, waddya mean “drugs”? Have you seen any of Yahoo’s movies? Go and rent “Young Einstein” and then you’ll understand where he’s coming from… Cheers, TBB.

quote[quote]If China transported its entire population to North America (USA and Canada).... [/quote] Aren't they doing this already, albeit rather slowly?