Toilet Paper

I Primarily Prefer My Bog Paper To Be:

  • One-ply
  • Two-ply
  • Three-ply
  • Cheap
  • Famous
  • Greaseproof
  • Patterned

0 voters

Toilet paper generally comes in one, two or three-ply. Which do you prefer and is your choice a budgetry one? Is safety a concern when choosing your toilet paper? Is branding important and does advertising influence your decision?

BroonAndrex

See what I mean? The English ARE effete. I’ve never even heard of three-ply – that would represent luxury beyond my wildest dreams!

THREE ply?! :astonished:

What about square vs. roll?
Perfumed vs. unscented?

[quote=“sandman”]See what I mean? The English ARE effete. I’ve never even heard of three-ply – that would represent luxury beyond my wildest dreams!

THREE ply?! :astonished:[/quote]

Three-ply was invented when the English armies pushed back the marauding Scottish hoardes to well beyond the Gretna - Berwick line (approx.) when it was necessary to protect the soldiers from digestory consequences got from eating indigenous Caledonian fayre.

BroonArbroath

I only use toilet paper that has been folded into a triangle at the end.

That’s a lifestyle choice. :smiley:

BroonArmitageShanks

I prefer quantity over quality.

[quote=“BroonAle”][quote=“sandman”]See what I mean? The English ARE effete. I’ve never even heard of three-ply – that would represent luxury beyond my wildest dreams!

THREE ply?! :astonished:[/quote]

Three-ply was invented when the English armies pushed back the marauding Scottish hoardes to well beyond the Gretna - Berwick line (approx.) when it was necessary to protect the soldiers from digestory consequences got from eating indigenous Caledonian fayre.

BroonArbroath[/quote]

Of course, the Highlanders had no need for bumwad, preferring instead to simply use the closest Englishman…

I only use baby wipes. The toilet paper here is utter crap.

You buying used?

BroonAsks

What are baby wipes? It doesn’t have anything to do with the bear shitting in the woods when along comes this rabbit…

I just counted thirty boxes of tissue in the closet next to my desk…I am up to my ass in TP.

BroonAle,

I don’t think your poll is in-depth enough. I think you should explore what kind of TP goes with what kind of bowel movement.

For example, I think that after a night of drinking cheap Tequila and eating Indian food might require a different kind of ass paper than one that would be used after a dinner of steak and potatoes.

What are baby wipes? It doesn’t have anything to do with the bear shitting in the woods when along comes this rabbit…[/quote]

Nah, you know, like this…

What are baby wipes? It doesn’t have anything to do with the bear shitting in the woods when along comes this rabbit…[/quote]

Nah, you know, like this…

[/quote]

That’s disgusting and I’m never going to be able to eat monkey again.

I Primarily Prefer My Bog Paper To Be…

…THERE when I NEED it!

[quote=“the chief”]
Nah, you know, like this…

[/quote]

Shouldn’t that be in the Valentine’s Thread???

You use toilet paper?

Where’s the choice for 400-grit?

Personally I think Toilet Paper should be outlawed. Waste of paper, and a noxious way to cleanse one’s arse. Rubbing a super-bleached low grade pulp paper across one’s back door is a little barbaric.

What we need are teams of engineers working non-stop to invent some super-duper butt-cleaning device, perhaps an adaptation of a bidet…Taiwan could contribute funding in order to counter its’ image as a nation of dirty asses…

And in the meantime, I’ll stock up on the soft, expensive stuff. And get Me some of that 3ply, for those “Too many Guinness the Night Before” mornings.

Wipe on, :cookie: