"Too nice" and "Charming"

[quote=“Indiana”][quote=“elektronisk”]男人不壞 女人不愛

(approx. - If a man isn’t bad, a woman won’t love him)[/quote]

Ah, yes. Traditional Chinese wisdom at its best. :unamused:[/quote]

:laughing:

“too nice” = “too doting”; therefore, maybe “pushy”, or “smothering”, or even “creepy”.

“too charming” = same

back off. give space. let breathe.

don’t be so needy or so giving of oneself to hope for something in return only to reciprocate your neediness; it won’t happen, it will only push them away or creep them out. give of yourself only what you want to give and want to receive in kind.

simply put, back off.

give room for her to breathe and be her own person.

neediness is creepy. shows lack of self. no one respects that, they only pity it.

encyclopediadramatica.com/Friend_Zone (Site is [color=red]Very Not Safe For Work[/color], but very funny)

:slight_smile:

I never got those words, except from obasans and my wife’s girl friends…

What do you guys think when you get compliments like this in front of your wife/gf/whatever? I think they are utterly crap and make me feel uncomfortable… cause I like to keep distance to them…

But then again, my wife says I treat her friends better than their husbands/bf’s treat them, so I have to be seriously cold in the next times…

I share most of the views on this so far, but I suggest that the real reason for this phenomenon is, IMHO, because women of a certain mind-set do not feel that their existence is either sufficiently satisfied or justified unless they can deliver a good scolding to their loved one(s). This behaviour shows concern, care and love, the pinnacle of which is to “scold like no tomorrow”. If their significant-other does not easily lend himself to a frequent upbraiding then they may begin to feel inadequate as they are unable to play what they see as an appropriate role in the relationship. This is extremely convenient for persons such as myself as it means that you can more or less do what you like without reason and not only get away with it, but be revered for it, providing a useful additional satisfaction for her.
rgds

Charming means (you are interesting, and I want to understand you).
Too nice means (I feel bored with you, I want to understand others but still want to contact you).

Sometimes I play tricks with men. For example, if I want to have a date with a man, but hard to find a chance. I will anger him, then say sorry and compensate him with a good meal. Everyman will accept my apology and treat.

I love to praise handsome men for their wisdom, and praise clever men for their handsomeness. I know a man is a liar, but will praise him for his honesty. It is very funny for me.

I won’t say more. No trick, no fun.

[quote=“Sophia101”]Charming means (you are interesting, and I want to understand you).
Too nice means (I feel bored with you, I want to understand others but still want to contact you).

Sometimes I play tricks with men. For example, if I want to have a date with a man, but hard to find a chance. I will anger him, then say sorry and compensate him with a good meal. Everyman will accept my apology and treat.

I love to praise handsome men for their wisdom, and praise clever men for their handsomeness. I know a man is a liar, but will praise him for his honesty. It is very funny for me.

I won’t say more. No trick, no fun.[/quote]

You sound pretty and honest! Fancy a beer sometime?

Ah, finally! I knew that “charming” and “too nice” were not just adjectives borrowed from the dictionary. They are categories. OK.

If “carming” means ‘interesting’ and ‘I want to understand you’…then what does ‘understand’ mean in within this category? (I’m going to guess it’s similar to what we mean in English when we say: “get to know you better…” and it means that you are “open” to a variety of possibilities; could mean you’ve “got the hots”, could mean something slower…but, one step at a time…)

If “too nice” means ‘boring’ but I’ll still contact you…really? why the contact? whay not ‘goodbye, good luck?’

(btw my former gf described herself as “too nice” and that’s why the legion of men obsess over her. She, and many others, described me as “charming”.)

[quote=“Tralalangue”]Ah, finally! I knew that “charming” and “too nice” were not just adjectives borrowed from the dictionary. They are categories. OK.

If “carming” means ‘interesting’ and ‘I want to understand you’…then what does ‘understand’ mean in within this category? (I’m going to guess it’s similar to what we mean in English when we say: “get to know you better…” and it means that you are “open” to a variety of possibilities; could mean you’ve “got the hots”, could mean something slower…but, one step at a time…)

If “too nice” means ‘boring’ but I’ll still contact you…really? why the contact? whay not ‘goodbye, good luck?’

(btw my former gf described herself as “too nice” and that’s why the legion of men obsess over her. She, and many others, described me as “charming”.)[/quote]

Charming means ( you are attractive, and I want you).
Too nice means ( you can be a good friend, and if I want to use you, I can ask you). Of course keep in contact.

[quote=“Sophia101”]Charming means ( you are attractive, and I want you).
Too nice means ( you can be a good friend, and if I want to use you, I can ask you). Of course keep in contact.[/quote]
I do like this. “Use” is a nice touch.

Hmm, Sophia101,

Wish I would have taken Sophia401, but I never made it that far.

You like to play the game, I see.

Hope to graduate to Sophulla, I mean Sophia401 real soon. Sounds fulfilling. Really, so grand.

Glad I’m not nice nor charming.

Saved by the deficits of me, and don’t have to go through that crap. Good luck, btw, sophulla.

jm

[quote=“JOHN MOSS”]Hmm, Sophia101,

Wish I would have taken Sophia401, but I never made it that far.

You like to play the game, I see.

Hope to graduate to Sophulla, I mean Sophia401 real soon. Sounds fulfilling. Really, so grand.

Glad I’m not nice nor charming.

Saved by the deficits of me, and don’t have to go through that crap. Good luck, btw, sophulla.

jm[/quote]

In another thread someone said Sophia101 was a parody invented by some embittered forumosa.com poster to troll us. I’m inclined to agree. Someone that cynical would be smart enough not to post so honestly about it.

Edit, it seems like calling people ‘dumb’ is verboten. Or maybe just Namahottie :wink:

you are just jealous, kingzog.

i bet you are steaming right now, under your nightie.

that sofullof has you in a tizzy.

give me your nasty voice…

[quote=“JOHN MOSS”]Hmm, Sophia101,

Wish I would have taken Sophia401, but I never made it that far.

You like to play the game, I see.

Hope to graduate to Sophulla, I mean Sophia401 real soon. Sounds fulfilling. Really, so grand.

Glad I’m not nice nor charming.

Saved by the deficits of me, and don’t have to go through that crap. Good luck, btw, sophulla.

jm[/quote]

forumosa.com/taiwan/viewtopi … &&start=70

Have you ever read my articles on (Living in Taiwan)?

I think you totally misunderstood.

I am married and have no interest with other men.

Hope you keep clear-headed.

No more crazy man on web again.

jm[/quote]

In another thread someone said Sophia101 was a parody invented by some embittered forumosa.com poster to troll us. I’m inclined to agree. No one that cynical would be dumb enough to post so honestly about it.[/quote]

I saw you on Friends.

You look tender and kind, can be a good common friend.

Actually I have blocked 2 sick men on Friends after registering only 2 weeks.

I just want to improve my English for communicating with teachers and other parents in my kids’ international school of SH.

[quote=“Sophia101”][quote=“KingZog”]

In another thread someone said Sophia101 was a parody invented by some embittered forumosa.com poster to troll us. I’m inclined to agree. No one that cynical would be dumb enough to post so honestly about it.[/quote]

I saw you on Friends.

You look tender and kind, can be a good common friend.

Actually I have blocked 2 sick men on Friends after registering only 2 weeks.

I just want to improve my English for communicating with teachers and other parents in my kids’ international school of SH.[/quote]

Hmm, maybe you are genuine after all. What do you think of the link I posted before?

encyclopediadramatica.com/Friend_Zone (NSFW, not that that should be a problem for you if you are genuine)

And actually if you are genuine would you say that percentage of “sick men” is higher among foreigners or Taiwanese men or lower or about the same?

And you know that FF is a dating site, right? So it’s not necessarily a sign of “sickness” that people hit on you. Though I suppose you could argue that men obsessing over you are sick in a sense. But you met them on the Internet, what did you expect :slight_smile:

Hmm, maybe you are genuine after all. W
at do you think of the link I posted before?

encyclopediadramatica.com/Friend_Zone (NSFW, not that that should be a problem for you if you are genuine)

And actually if you are genuine would you say that percentage of “sick men” is higher among foreigners or Taiwanese men or lower or about the same?

And you know that FF is a dating site, right? So it’s not necessarily a sign of “sickness” that people hit on you. Though I suppose you could argue that men obsessing over you are sick in a sense. But you met them on the Internet, what did you expect :slight_smile:[/quote]

I think the percentage of sick men among foreigners or Taiwanese men are the same. Because losers always show their real human nature in the dark.

FF is a dating site? No. People can announce the expectations of making male or female pen pals on their profiles. Only stupid and crude people will ignore others’ announcements. For example, a German said he wanted to communicate with me. The first question he asked was " Are you satisfied with your sex?" I replied " The guestions are the reflections of life", then I guessed his sex was bad. Of course I angered him. After replying his fighting letter, I blocked him.

I think to chat on web is really funny, better than chatting with a tutor. My tutor is afraid of me, because I implied to fire him if he is late again. I never expect anything or any relationship on the internet, just type something for writing skills, for fun,and for free payment.

To read your articles from the link is painful for me. My math grades were high, but English grades were lowermost. Your statements are good, but sometimes may not work in the real world. How about to research the influences of financial status in human relationships?

I am not sure how relevent this is to the topic on hand here and I don’t endorse what is said below. This is from a junk email I received and I subscribed to their free e-newsletter. It has some interesting thoughts about relationships, men and women. Some things I can agree with but others not so much. Read it and se what you think. Oh, they also try and sell you some books and DVDs. I didn’t by them, I just go for the free stuff…

When you first go out to practice the dating techniques I’ve taught you, you’re bound to hear a few “no’s” from the women you meet. (Actually, this is an ongoing process. You will never have a 100% success rate.) So here are a couple of ways
to make the rejections easier to take and more valuable to you.

  1. Disassociate yourself.

Look at the rejection as an event, not as a rejection of your inner core. Think in “third-person” as if you’re watching a movie.

  1. Think about “why”.

Think about why the woman rejected you. Think back on your actions. Were you being too pushy? Did you not build up enough chemistry before you asked for a date? Try to locate any potential blindspots.

  1. Learn from it.

Learn from your mistakes and try to improve each time. If you improve just a tiny bit each time, you’ll improve a lot in the long run!

  1. Try In A New Environment

If you few like a certain environment may be holding your back, try the following: Take your practices to a new environment and see if you get different results.

For example, if the nightclub setting does like work for you, try taking a few dance classes, and so on.

  1. Hang Out With A More Successful Person

How do you get smarter? By hanging out with smarter people! They’ll be able to point out your mistakes when you make them.

One of the best ways to get really good at something is to get active feedback from someone who is already good at it. It’s like playing sports. If you constantly play against opponents that are
stronger than you, you will learn faster than if you constantly play against opponents who are not as good as you.

  1. Make New Connections In Your Mind

Take the time to organize your new thoughts and ideas. Make connections between different topics and ideas that weren’t there before. You don’t really get something until you can see all the connections! Ask yourself questions such as,
“How does flirting fit into building attraction?”

  1. Take a Break If Necessary

If you feel like you are hitting the same wall over and over, then take a small break so you have time to recharge. The more you push when you’re already frustrated, the more
resistance you will build. Sometimes when you take a small break and then come back, you will find the obstacles will have disappeared on its own.

  1. Take the Time to Learn’

It is hard to bounce back from failureif you don’t even have a direction. That is why it is very important to pick up the knowledge you need to be successful. Instead of learning
everything through your own mistakes, try to learn everything through other people’s mistakes.

One of the best (and quickest) ways to get this knowledge is by downloading my full “Smart Dating Course” at:

datebeautifulwomen.com/ebook.html

[quote]
To read your articles from the link is painful for me. My math grades were high, but English grades were lowermost. Your statements are good, but sometimes may not work in the real world. How about to research the influences of financial status in human relationships?[/quote]

Financial status in human relationships? In which culture?
In my understanding, woman here expect that if their hubbies get loaded with cash, they will start having affairs. And some married woman will have affairs with loaded man.

What about the fact that some man/woman simply ignore/don’t care/are too much into their works to notice their partners?

Influence of financial status = Influence on daily life. People with better financial status have bigger expectations. Maybe now you are low on your status, so you don’t care much about the status of your partner, but once you grow, will it change the way you see him?

Anyway, this discussion is way of the too nice and charming… back to topic guys…

sophia 101:

= pain 101.

whacked is as whacked does.

people hit on people, …get over it.

(and no, i did not “misunderstand” you)

as stated, glad i’m not out there for your trippy yippy. woo hoo,

next…