In no particular order:[ol]
[li]I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?[/li]
[li]Can I check your tag? (Checks tag on back of shirt) Ah, I was right, Made in Heaven.[/li]
[li]You must be tired - you’ve been running through my mind all day.[/li]
[li]Do you come with a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.[/li]
[li]Was it love at first sight, or should I walk by again?[/li]
[li]I’m new in town - could I get directions? To your place?[/li]
[li]If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?[/li]
[li]Can I buy you a drink so I look better?[/li]
[li]Are you a parking ticket? Because you have FINE written all over you.[/li]
[li]You must be from Mars, because your moves are out of this world.[/li][/ol]
Dishonourable Mention[ul]
[li]Who beamed you down from Planet Gorgeous?[/li]
[li]I hope you come with a library card, because I want to check you out![/li]
[li]Are you from Greece? I thought all Goddesses were Greek![/li]
[li]Your daddy must be a thief, 'cause he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.[/li]
[li]Miss December, right?[/li]
[li]You must have a mirror in your pocket, because I can really see myself in your pants![/li]
[li]If I followed you home, would you keep me?[/li]
[li]If this bar is a meat market, then you must be the prime rib.[/li][/ul]
No, no, no, your English is very good!
What’s French and likes blowjobs?
Moi.
Fate of mankind rides on the successful pickup line
[color=indigo]By DAVE BARRY[/color]
[quote]So I was at this party, and I wound up at a table where three attractive single women were complaining about ----Surprise! – men. Specifically, they were complaining about the pickup lines that had been used on them in a bar a few nights earlier.
One woman said: This guy comes up to me and says, `Are you a teacher?' I mean, is that supposed to be romantic?''.All three women rolled all six of their eyes. Another one of them said: This guy says to me,I've been looking at you all night!' So I go, Hel-LO, we just GOT here.’’’
At this point all three women – and I want to stress that these are intelligent, nice women – were laughing. Not me. I was feeling bad for the guys.
I realize that there are certain hardships that only females must endure, such as childbirth, waiting in lines for public-restroom stalls, and a crippling, psychotic obsession with shoe color. Also, females tend to reach emotional maturity very quickly, so that by age 7 they are no longer capable of seeing the humor in loud inadvertent public blasts of flatulence, whereas males can continue to derive vast enjoyment from this well into their 80s. So I grant that it is not easy being a female.
But I contend that nature has given males the heaviest burden of all: the burden of always having to Make the First Move, and thereby risk getting Shot Down. I don’t know WHY males get stuck with this burden, but it’s true throughout the animal kingdom. If you watch the nature shows on the Discovery Channel, you’ll note that whatever species they are talking about – birds, crabs, spiders, clams – it is ALWAYS the male who has to take the initiative. It’s always the male bird who does the courting dance,making a total moron of himself, while the female bird just stands there, looking aloof, thinking about what she’s going to tell her girlfriends. (``And then he hopped around on one foot! Like I’m supposed to be impressed by THAT!’’).
Male insects have it the worst. The Discovery Channel announcer is always saying things like: ``After the mating, the female mantis bites off the male mantis’ head, and then she and her girlfriend mantises use it to
play a game that looks a lot like Skee Ball.’’ Because I live in Florida, my
patio is basically a giant singles bar for lizards. On any given day
during mating season, I’ll see dozens of male lizards out there making their most suave lizard move, which consists of inflating and deflating a red pouch under their chins. They seem to think that female lizards really go for a guy with a big chin pouch, but I have never once, in 14 years of close observation, seen a female respond. They just squat there looking bored, while all around them males are blinking on and off like defective warning lights.
Every now and then you’ll see an offbeat TV news story about some
animal, usually a moose, that has for some reason fallen in love with, and decided to relentlessly court, something totally inappropriate, such as a lawn tractor. This animal is ALWAYS a male. On the TV, they show it hanging around the lawn tractor with a big, sad, moony look, totally smitten, while the lawn tractor cruelly ignores it. My point here is that, in matters of the heart, males have the brains of a walnut.
No, wait! That is not my point.
My point is that perhaps you women could cut us males a little bit of
slack in the move-making process, because we are under a
lot of stress. I vividly remember when I was in 10th grade, and I
wanted to call a girl named Patty and ask her to a dance, and
before I picked up the phone, I spent maybe 28 hours rehearsing
exactly what I was going to say. So when I actually made the
call, I was pretty smooth. Hello, Dance?'' I said. This is Patty.
Do you want to go to the Dave with me?’’
Fortunately Patty grasped the basic thrust of my gist and agreed to go
to the dance. This was a good thing, because if she had shot me down, I
would have been so humiliated that I would have never have been able to go back to school. I would have dropped out of 10th grade and lied about my age and joined the U.S. armed forces, and as a direct result the Russians would have won the Cold War.
That is the awesome power that you women have over us men. I hope you understand this, and the next time a guy walks up and uses some incredibly lame, boneheaded line on you, I hope that, instead of laughing at him, you will remember that he is under the intense pressure of wanting to impress you enough so that you mightwant to get to know him better and maybe eventually,perhaps within the next 15 minutes, mate with him,thereby enabling thesurvival of the human race, which believe me is the only thing that we males are truly concerned about. In conclusion, let me just say to allfemales everywhere, on behalf of all males everywhere, that you arevery beautiful and your eyes are like two shining stars, unless you’re afemale fly, in which case your eyes are more like 2,038 shining stars. So pleasegive us a chance. And if you’re not interested, could you introduce us to your lawn tractor?[/quote]
that sweater is very becoming on you. then again, if i were on you, i’d be coming, too. 
[color=blue]Pick up lines from Austin Powers[/color]
I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.
(Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let’s get you
out of these wet clothes.
Nice legs…what time do they open?
Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
You’ve got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
I may not be the best looking guy in here,but I’m the only one talking to
you.
I’m fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
Wanna play army? I’ll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
I’d really like to see how you look when I’m naked.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light
switch away.
Are those real?
If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
You… Me… Whipped cream… Handcuffs… Any questions?
Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
My name is (name)…remember that, you’ll be screaming it later.
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
My friend wants to know if YOU think I’M cute."
I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could
do it in public.
Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? … Why, don’t you like
pizza?
Baby, I’m an American Express lover…you shouldn’t go home without me.
The best pick-up line I know is “Are these your keys?” If the girl is Chinese, say it in Chinese of course.
I am serious.
Sometimes on the street or somewhere you will see some keys. They were probably lost by someone. So you pick these up and carry them with you. When you see a pretty girl, you pick an appropriate moment and then “pretend” to pick up those keys from under the bench (or chair) where she is sitting, or the place she just walked by, or whatever. It is so natural, and an easy way to strike up a conversation, especially in Taiwan.
After that, you can say “Well I guess they were lost by someone else.” Then, you can offer to buy her fruit juice or something. Next step, of course ask to see her again. A few casual dates this way and you can usually see if the relationship is going anywhere. Hopefully it will.
Let’s make a deal: I’ll let you practice your English if you pretend I’m actually a good-looking, with-it white guy.
“Would you like to have some sex?”
“No?”
“Then, would you mind lying down so I could have some?”
“Smell my cheese.”–Big Fluffy Matthew
“Fuck me if I’m wrong, but (insert obviously wrong observation here).”
“Do you like exotic reptiles? Would you like to pet my one-eyed trouser snake?”
“How old are you, anyway?”
“Excuse me, miss, do you have a quarter?”
…“my mother told to call once I’ve fallen in love.”
Excuse me, do you have any Irish in you? No? Would you like some?
[quote=“Maoman”]In no particular order:[ol]
[li]I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?[/li]
[li]Can I check your tag? (Checks tag on back of shirt) Ah, I was right, Made in Heaven.[/li]
[li]You must be from Mars, because your moves are out of this world.[/li][/ol]
Dishonourable Mention[ul]
[li]Who beamed you down from Planet Gorgeous? [/li][/ul] [/quote]
“Whoa! I wish I was Captain Kirk so’s I could help you wipe out the Klingons around Uranus!”
And you wonder why you are still single.
No I don’t.
[quote=“Rory Butternuts”]What’s French and likes blowjobs?
Moi.[/quote]
“I might be a women-beater but I’m not a pussy-eater.”
Oops, sorry, I was having an Eazy-E (RIP) moment.
Hello, I’m charisma man.