I saw a few lists on the toughest movie characters ever but wasn’t impressed. No super or magical powers allowed. My top five list would have to include:
Fists, bullets, cars whatever it takes. Snake can do it and kill you with it-even without the advantage of 20/20 sight and wearing a very heavy leather trench coat. He can fly aircraft, surf big waves…
He beat the whole stinking city of New York-or at least Manhattan-but he escaped -which is more than I can say for most New Yorkers.
Can drop one liners like a 50 pound kettle bell.
Mad Max
Any guy who loves dogs, carries his own tools on his person and owns a sawed-off shotgun is okay in my book. Also handicapped- by a knee injury.
He’s faster than any snake. Max can shoot, fight, throw knives, drive and pretty much fuck up whatever is left in post apocalyptic Aussie-land.
Preacher
A man of God a top a pale horse, bullet holes in his back, teenage girls swoon as he passes, but kicking-butt is his path to God and that path had a whole pile of bodies laying on it. He can fight with an axe handle, or squeeze the gonads of a giant until he passes out, he shoots a Colt like he was snapping his fingers and still has time to say grace at supper time.
Captain John H. Miller, commanding officer of Charlie Company, 2nd Ranger Battalion
Well he’s an officer with cojones and that right there makes him a rarity. He can shoot a Thompson sub-machine gun, think fast and get his men through hell safely, but still have room for morality and compassion. He held off a whole column of Germans with light weapons, hit and run tactics and he can blow up tanks with FREAKIN’ SOCKS!
His men might not have all made it, but this shell shocked ex-English teacher got the mission done. Shooting at a Tiger tank with the last rounds from his 1911 .45 was a great middle finger to the Nazis and fascism every where.
Manny -From Runaway Train
Here’s a guy who is so dangerous and cunning he has to have the door of his cell wielded shut. Try to shiv Manny he’ll beat you to death with a stool, throw his blood at your friends and taunt them then kick their butts. Forget about guns and cars he’ll use his teeth to kill you. What a survivor! He crawled through half mile of poo only to enjoy the comforts of mid-winter Alaska with only prison sneakers on his feet. The last image of the movie with him surfing that train to death was awesome.
Good list. Here’s another, more moderner one to add to it:
Bryan Mills from “Taken” (on the right of pic).
“You don’t remember me? We spoke on the phone two days ago. I told you I would find you.”
Possesses “a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.”
[quote=“irishstu”]Good list. Here’s another, more moderner one to add to it:
Bryan Mills from “Taken” (on the right of pic).
“You don’t remember me? We spoke on the phone two days ago. I told you I would find you.”
Possesses “a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.”[/quote]
That was a good movie. I was surprised at his (movie) fighting skills. Good choice.
Kurt Russell can never be tough, it’s just a law of physics. Hey I like the guy and all but he’s just not tough in any way but silly. “Snake”. Please.
I give Liam Neeson honorable mention for not just Taken but also Rob Roy - dude cut open a dead cow and crawled into its still warm innards ot hide, then takes stabs all over the place from Tim Roth’s Mxtylplic rapier, then takes the Claymore to 'em…
Also honorable mention to Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler and Stallone in Rambo 1 (when he was still a bad ass) and Rambo 4 (50 cal to the face: boo yah!), and Gunnery Sergeant Hartmann (Full Metal Jacket): if he actually killed someone or got more physical, he’d be #1.
James Bond (Casino Royale)
A one line mathematical proof: "I’ve got a little itch, down there. Would you mind? "Plus you get the whole first 10 minutes of parkour, drugged and needs defibrillation… did I mention “Now the whole world’s gonna know that you died scratching my balls!”
Dutch (Predator)
First: his name is Dutch, he chews a cigar, his biceps are bigger than my head - and I gotta big head. Shit kicked outta him 10 times from Sunday, run through the mud, lifts a pickup off it’s blocks, even without weapons puts together a giant rock trap Rambo-style. I’d love to include Jesse the Body (“I ain’t got time to bleed”) but insufficient screen time.
Jules (Pulp Fiction)
You’re joking not including the Mean Motherfucker. First man to use the term motherfucker as both good and bad right next to each other on screen: “I’m a mushroom cloud layin mother fucker, mother fucker!” Also “Mmm-mmmm. That is a tasty burger. Vincent, ever have a Big Kahuna Burger?” The list could go on…
Porter (Payback)
Mel’s double crossed and killed (eh maybe not) at the beginning, then goes up and through the gangster ladder, shoot a guy in the face, rips out a nose ring, knocks out Lucy Lou in dominatrix garb, kills Devane in cold blood, toes turned to roast beef, blows the shit outta everyone (as in explosion, not fluffing).
Beatrix Kiddo (Kill Bill)
Yeah she’s a woman but actually she’s Uma so that’s more of a man with those size 13 feet. Salted buckshot in the chest, buried alive, shot in the head point blank, repeatedly raped while in a coma? Then the knife on Vivica Fox, chops off half of (hubba hubba) Lucy Liu’s head, yankin out Splash’s eyeball, and five fingers of death for Bill. Oh, and chops up 87 of the crazy 88’s.
My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time… like tears in rain… Time to die.
If you get to include robots, then Terminator (1) has got to win. Or at least the goopy Robert Patric one. And besides, that’s Rutger f-ing Hauer: he’s Dutch!!! The Dutch can’t be tough…
Jules -ooooookay but he didn’t actually kill anyone with a vehicle or his hands. Most of the people he shot were unarmed too.
I’m only giving Gibson one slot and that was Mad Max. But I loved Payback.
I even liked the character from the American revolution movie he played in because he killed a bunch of English guys with a tomahawk-(my favorite weapon and the only weapon that has been in every American conflict since the revolution)… Sandman only chose one so I wouldn’t want to hurt his delicate feelings by knocking on Brave Heart.
Russel Crowe’s Meridius was also a good candidate.
John J. Rambo–Too obvious for me and too close to home but still a good candidate.
Are robots tough? They are programmed that way to count electric sheep and kill without feeling etc. big deal. That’s like saying, “My chain saw cuts anything without flinching.”
Dutch—Schwatzaneagger’s only real tough guy role was the first Conan. When he couldn’t speak English.
I’m sorry I haven’t included a woman --“A Long Kiss Good Night” Jeana Davis’ character would have been a good one-she made Samuel L. Jackson’s character look like a wimp.
You’re right, tough and bad-ass aren’t equivalent. He was king of bad ass, but not sure how “tough”. I retract my Jules and replace him with Tyler Durden - self explanatory - and put him in at #2.
[quote=“Bubba 2 Guns”]I’m only giving Gibson one slot and that was Mad Max. But I loved Payback.
I even liked the character from the American revolution movie he played in because he killed a bunch of English guys with a tomahawk-(my favorite weapon and the only weapon that has been in every American conflict since the revolution)… Sandman only chose one so I wouldn’t want to hurt his delicate feelings by knocking on Brave Heart.[/quote]
Yeah but The Patriot was a typical Gibson pain-as-pleasure “they killed my boys” bullshit. I liked the movie, dont misunderstand, but it wasn’t his toughest role. Wasn’t Jason Isaac more of a tough guy in that? And Braveheart had a real cause behind him plus he got really touchy feely in a whole bunch of scenes. Payback was like 80 minutes of condensed bad ass. How many people he kill cold blooded. He did it for money and vengeance and a bit of poon. Mad Max wtf? He looks and talks like a girl in the first two FFS!
Come on man: “EEf eet bleeds, we can keel eet”. He gets the shit kicked out of him by a 8 foot monster and keeps on tickin. Yeah he was on the Tree of Woe in Conan, but for a guy like Ahnold, Tree of Woe is like Club Med. That don’t make him tough.
Yeah but poor actress, with that goofy overbite and over e-nun-ci-a-tion. She was as hammy as Heston. And she didn’t take rape, headshot, salt buckshot in the chest, buried alive, Pai Mei whackin her. Not even close!
Deathmatch: Vinnie Jones in Snatch vs Ben Kingsley in Sexy Beast. Ben’s lighter and more wiry, plus shorter so he could sneak around, but bullet-tooth tony was shot like 7 times.
