Am I the only one who has been struck by the striking parallels and glaring incongruities between the mormons, Mongols and mongrels of the world?
The mormons forsake alcohol, coffee and tea, but will chastely gather for Family Home Evenings, perhaps dunking oreos in glasses of milk as they play scrabble and recite the fables of mighty Joseph, the father of it all. Mongols on the other hand, are more likely to spend the evening huddled in a sheepskin yurt, drinking strong black tea and potato vodka, while imbibing bloody heaps of mutton and singing epic songs of the heroic Genghis Khan. Mongrels, on the third hand, are more likely to just sit and scratch.
While they appear on the surface to be as different as tits and tofu, upon closer examination the similarities are striking. All three groups are covered with hair, though admittedly it tends to be thickest on mongrels, somewhat thinner on Mongols and to recede on the brow of most Mormons. They all scratch from time to time and sometimes will dream, though the subject of such dreams varies from ancient heroes to mutton bones to just sniffing the butt of a bitch depending on who is doing the dreaming. And not to be overlooked, they all start with the letter “M,” which is often a noble letter, found in words such as “Mighty,” “Mambo” and “to the Max,” but is sometimes found in less worthy places such as mangy, morbid and mitochondria (not that I have anything against mitochondria, I just don’t see them as particularly grand and mighty).
So in conclusion, I think we all should think twice before casting aspersions on Mormons, Mongols and Mongrels. They’re not as similar (or as different) as we sometimes might think and in any event the casting of aspersions is not something that should be done lightly, or at all in some cases. Thank you for your consideration.