True Love

Share your favorite–TRUE–love stories. This is mine.

I already posted the “seal rapes penguin” story, but it got moved to the “Pets and other animals” forum, where only bunny-huggers (ew!) will read it.

I remember a letter to Dear Abby, from a wife who found another woman’s panties under the pillows of the bed that she and her husband shared. She confronted him. He swore his innocence. Remarkably, she believed him, and decided that the presence of another woman’s panties in their bed had no explanation. Their marriage was that close, she told Abby.

Later, a “friend” of hers admitted responsibility. She had done it as a prank. To this day, I remember and admire this rather impressive example of faith.

True love stories exists in your teens and 20s.

After that it’s “What-bullshit-are you-willing-put-up-with-for-companionship” stories. :laughing:

[quote=“Namahottie”]True love stories exists in your teens and 20s.

After that it’s “What-bullshit-are you-willing-put-up-with-for-companionship” stories. :laughing:[/quote]

I hear that, Nama! That’s why I like the story linked above. A Jewish young man in a concentration camp kept alive by a girl who tossed apples over the fence to him. Then he was moved and didn’t see her again for about 50 years.

They’d both emmigrated to the states and both had spouces who’d passed away. They were set up together on a blind date. He told her the story of the girl with the apples and said he’d never forgotten her. She was that girl and had never forgotten him, either! They married soon after that first date.

“You want love?..I mean real l…o…v…e love?..Thats gonna cost ya extra.”

An actual conversation I overheard in 1987 in a ‘cafe’ in Costa Rica.

[quote=“TainanCowboy”]“You want love?..I mean real l…o…v…e love?..Thats gonna cost ya extra.”

An actual conversation I overheard in 1987 in a ‘cafe’ in Costa Rica.[/quote]


That pretty much summarizes Dubai

True love is only a tequila shot away.

[quote=“Namahottie”]True love stories exists in your teens and 20s.

After that it’s “What-bullshit-are you-willing-put-up-with-for-companionship” stories. :laughing:[/quote]

Oh my, cynical you. Hehe. Yeah, sounds about right though.

To be honest though. What you guys have written I think is cynical. My Opa was writing poems to my Oma on his death bed, and my parents are still very much in love today after 30 years of marriage.

I’m not sure if this is equivalent to true love, or if true love is equivalent to faithfulness, but certainly there is some overlap. I will certainly expect the same from my marriage.

I’m going to post an email sent to my by a very close ex about love:
Hi ‘Tyc00n’,

Love is a really strange thing, and after all these years (I will be turning 26 next week), I still have not been able to really work it out. Or to define it.There are many types of love.

I too, have struggled with the concept of love - especially love in a romantic sense. I will say from the outset that my view of love has always been tainted with some degree of cynicism, whether this cynicism reflects reality or not (or even whether it reflects my own expereince, or is a mere academic exercise - I can never really tell).

It is very strange to me, that someone can love another on arbitrary factors, love being a feeling, based on nothing more (but feelings are strong, and real, and dictate much of what we do, even if we cannot find a grounded basis for these feelings). All I know is that this “whimsical” love is just as real, and whether or not you can find justification for it, you need to be aware of its effect on your actions.

On the other hand, I think that loving someone on objective considerations (such as intelligence, wit, social ability, drive, ambition, ability, charm etc) is perhas not loving them at all - but loving what they do and how they appear to be.

Perhaps when you love someone based on feelings (what you call, a “whim”), that is true love - because it is not based on analysed (“objective”) criteria, and perhaps you then are really loving them for who they really are. (Whereas loving somone based on looks, charm, intelligence etc - is really love based on criteria - not who people really are - after all, some of these characteristics (eg. looks) are not factors that they had much control over when they were born with them. (I guess it then depends on how you characterise what makes someone “who they really are”).

I have a great deal of difficulty determining what it means to love somebody… and also whether love (in general) comprises of some degree of selfishness. In some ways, loving someone based on objective criteria is more selfish - since these criteria ultimately work toward your own enjoyment or benefit of that person’s company.

On the other hand, perhaps this love is more mature, as you say. In any case, a more “mature” love (based on respect, under standing, acceptance etc) will outlast a “crush” - unless the crush grows to become the more mature love. You can have a crush on someone, and then grow to love them.

Although love can seem to uncontrollably take over your thinking and your actions, it is, ultimately, a choice.

Perhaps this is the most accurate definition of love that I have found: " Love consists in this: that two solitudes protect and touch and great each other" (Rainer Maria Rilke). There is a lot of truth in this - for we are all, alone; and to love is to acknowledge that while at the same time being alone together.

I think love is, ideally, and at its core, deep respect for another’s discretion to exercise their freedom in whatever way they choose. The pain of love comes from the (fallen) expectation for someone else to love you in return. The difficulty is that you want them to love you freely, of their own accord, but you also want to be guaranteed of that love (all the while knowing that you cannot force it). These two states are irreconcilable. I don’t think you can ever really be free of this dilemma (we are all fallible humans after all), so the best thing to do is to be mindful of the contingencies of everything (the fact that everything is temporary, which is true), and then to be mindful of each other’s freedom. (This is in effect, being detached and rational, but being so does not necessarily mean that you love for somebody has lessened - most times, it is rather the opposite).

To be jealous or desirous is, essentially, to lack this level of respect for someone else’s freedom (so is not really love). It has, at this stage, turned into fear, which is the opposite of love. Fear is, or triggers, an inability to move forward and to be [alone]. At worst, it is mistaken for love. And even worse, the state of fear may become addictive for some (like in unhealthy attachment-based relationships).

But for me - and here is where I get cynical - love ALWAYS becomes selfish - it is never a purely unconditional activity. You start to expect things of people, and to take people for granted.

The whole concept of romantic love is manifest in that " oceanic feeling" (the feeling of being safe, being protected and maybe even invincible for the duration of that feeling). And the feeling is addictive. Even dangerous in so far as one could want to hold onto it, and to begin to expect a contiuation of that feeling from someone else’s presence. Love can become an unhealthy (and sometimes mutual) attachment.

For me, (in my thinking thus far) - the greatest love is this - to enjoy the company of someone else, to be mindful of their happiness, to put their happiness above your own (which is difficult, as it entails determining what their happiness would ultimately be derived from). This determination requires a degree of detachment (otherwise you have a conflict of interest, with wanting them to make your life happier (or so you think), and wanting to make them the happiest they can be at the same time). Life is really a series of moments. Being detached does not necessarily mean that you love someone less. It means that you are mindful of their ultimate freedom, and of your own.

Sometimes, you can do things that seem like the opposite of love (like, breaking up with somebody) - when really, the action is sourced in love (you wa nt to give them the opportunity to find someone else who could offer them a more stable or committed relationship than yourself).

In essence, a crush FEELS nicer, because, essentially, you have set an idea about the person in your mind, as someone who will fulfil your needs and desires (whatever they may be). (However, be mindful that your needs and desires may not have already been determined or determinable!) In any case, this impression is never fully accurate. The nature of a crush is that you just haven’t discovered enough about someone to be turned off by them yet (or by the time you have discovered enough about them to be repulsed by them, you have grown into a comfortable and unhealthy attachment to being with this personality. (On the other hand, you may have grown to love them, and to “accept” them as they are).

In summary, love is not something that I have figured out. I find that I am never fully satisfied with people I have crushes on, when I get to know them better in any case (I am aware that this is through no fault of theirs, but is, instead, because I have expectations that are too high. However, I am aware that everyone has flaws and therefore do not expect to find “the perfect one”. I expect that when the time is right for me, I will accomodate to someone who is adequate, and hopefully, above the mediocre mark - one can argue that maybe this compromise is an act of love (?).

I hope that my reasoning makes sense to you, and that it is, internally consistent. I will end this with some insightful quotes about love. It is, after all, a concept and activity which takes up the majority of our lives; it never stops being an issue; and it has been a factor that has defined humanity through all times.

“The course of true love never did run smooth” (William Shakesapeare).

“Of all pains, the greatest pain
Is to love, and love in vain” (George Granville).

“When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving oneself, and one always ends by decievin others. That is what the world calls romance.” (Victor M Garcia, Jnr).

“If you have it you don’t need to have anything else, and if you don’t have it, it doesn’t matter much what else you have.” (Sir James M Barrie).

Hope you figure this one out ‘Tyc00n’. But if you don’t, it is not a cause for despair! You will love and you will learn, always! Above all, remember this: Love is a choice.

Love, Lyma x

From a very brilliant woman, my ex, whom I will always admire, love and respect.

[quote=“Buttercup”][quote=“Namahottie”]True love stories exists in your teens and 20s.

After that it’s “What-bullshit-are you-willing-put-up-with-for-companionship” stories. :laughing:[/quote]

Oh my, cynical you. Hehe. Yeah, sounds about right though.[/quote]

Heheh, I am right that’s because I’m in a horrible graduate program at the moment. Okay here’s a true love story…

There was a moment in my life where the stars must have been aligned because a job I wanted came thru without trouble. It was in New York for the summer and I was to work with children who had mental and physical handicaps. I remember arriving with excitement, being greeted by people who accepted me without reservation or judgment. I began to make friends easily the first week or so and took to my job very well.

Within two weeks a new batch of workers arrived. During their orientation I distinctly remember a strange looking guy coming to stand next to me. My first thought was “Oh oh, one of the campers have gotten lost.” :laughing:

Later that night, as we all went out to the local bars to get sloshed and bowl, I went next door to see about my roommate who was bowling with some of the new recruits. As I stood in the doorway, I saw a guy getting ready to bowl with my roommate’s group. I don’t even remember walking across the bowling alley, but I do remember suddenly being next to him, and telling him before he bowled, if he got a strike, I would kiss him. He got a strike. And he was that strange guy who I thought was a camper.

We were inseparable after that. The best moment I can recall being with him was relaxing after work and him listening to me talk about him while enjoying the countryside stars. It wasn’t the stargazing that was memorable,but the fact that another human being appreciated the art of listening.

The summer went on and then he was fired after being accused of abusing a camper. Because it was two weeks before camp had ended and his ticket to England couldn’t be changed, he had to go into NYC. A few other workers didn’t believe that he would abuse a camper, so they set up an abandoned cabin for him across the lake. Eventually that plan failed, so he was off to stay at my parent’s house, who surprisingly were very supportive of it all.

He left, but we kept in touch for years. He was my first love at 15 and that proves my original opinion that only true love stories happen in your teens and/or your 20s. :laughing:

I’ve tried that…always a gutter ball…wimin just can’t bowl… :idunno:

I think that’s a pretty interesting message.

Despite an aversion to Bette Middler, and the possibility of opening myself up to accusations of being a total mushy sap, I have always liked the following characterization of love:

“The Rose”

Some say love, it is a river
that drowns the tender reed.
Some say love, it is a razor
that leaves your soul to bleed.
Some say love, it is a hunger,
an endless aching need.
I say love, it is a flower,
and you its only seed.

It’s the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance.
It’s the dream afraid of waking
that never takes the chance.
It’s the one who won’t be taken,
who cannot seem to give,
and the soul afraid of dyin’
that never learns to live.

When the night has been too lonely
and the road has been to long,
and you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong,
just remember in the winter
far beneath the bitter snows
lies the seed that with the sun’s love
in the spring becomes the rose.

I always liked this one.

[quote=“Paul Simon”]Love is not a game
Love is not a toy
Love’s no romance.
Love will do you in
And love will wash you out
And needless to say
You won’t stand a chance.
No you won’t stand a chance.[/quote]


scientists are so sexy!

she is a woman who knows what she wants and what she needs.

hope she finds it;

likewise for you.


oh, yeah i guess i’ve said this before to some degree:

wish it was me.

[quote=“JOHN MOSS”]namahottie,

oh, yeah i guess I’ve said this before to some degree:

wish it was me.[/quote]

:laughing: Thanks, I think?!?!?

Nice story, Namahottie. Thanks for sharing. BTW, I once told a cute blondie French guy that I’d kiss him if he solved a metal linking puzzle and he worked on solving it for more than four hours! I did make it worth his time, but it wasn’t love–just a French Kiss.

‘namayummy’ ring a bell?

yeah, always had an online crush on you. just like 8th grade, only with more zeros and ones.

oh well, one can wish and wonder.

kisses to my michigan girl.

miss the great lakes,


I wrote this while going through a break up

06 Jun 2006

Love and Pain

It’s amazing isn’t it? Both of these words go hand in hand.

Most people have this infantile view of love but if you were to really think about it; to love something is to feel pain. Why do I say that? Well it’s simple…because the more you hold onto something or someone you love - the more you then begin to realise what life could be like without him or her.

Love isn’t about the good times. Love is more about the bad times. To love someone is to take all of their garbage and help them carry it. Even if you don’t like the situation. Pain.

The word “Love” is used so often these days that it has all but lost it’s true meaning. Love grows with time and if it doesn’t then you know it was never love. Most people confuse these words/emotions with love: Reliance, Dependancy, Infatuation and Lust. Are those basis for a good relationship? Hellz No. It leads to disgust and mistrust. Pain.

We usually choose people to be with when they compliment ourselves. This goes for all types of relationships. Our thoughts and interests, strengthes and weaknesses have to posses a common ground with everyone we meet or they become fleeting memories. Sad? Naw…that’s life. It’s just hard to break away sometimes. Pain.

I’ve been blessed in the sense that I have recieved many forms of ‘love’ from various women but to one degree or another, they just didn’t work out. I suppose it’s me that isn’t ready although I can’t be sure. Should I change? Why should I? Should they change? Why should they? I figure if a woman truly loves me then she can accept me for who or what I am. Right? Ah but here comes that dreaded word…Compromise. Most people don’t even knowthe meaning of the word nor do they know how to adhere to it. I’ll tell you the truth - I really do think that I’m the exception to the rule. I compromise too much. I compromise myself in order to make things work with certain women and in the process I become lost. No woman enjoys seeing weakness in their men. They want security and confidence. Perhaps this is where guilt enters the picture. Pain.

I’ve made mistakes in my life regarding women but with each woman that I’ve met - a new me rises from the ashes of despair. Sounds corny, I know. But there’s truth in it. Each woman has brought something different to the table and I’d like to consider myself astute enough to realise what they are showing me. The ladies that I have been with don’t realise how close I’m watching or how tuned in I am when listening because for all of the PAIN that I’ve recieved (or given), there’s a lesson. Are they learning from me? I severely doubt it. Where the hell do these ladies think I learnt how to play these games? My Father? Ha…he passed away before I knew him. I have spent a great deal of time with the opposite sex and learnt these little games of emotional warfare from who? Women! Life as a living paradox can be so much fun. I see games before they start but I choose to play along in order to gain an understanding. My bad. Sometimes it isn’t worth the time spent labouring over the process. Pain.

Love is NOT the battle over who changes who. Love is NOT how much money nor how goddamn popular and fun loving your man is. Life and Love are NOT easy. Love people for their passions and what they seem to find comfort in. Ah, it’s a selfish world we live in. No doubt. But there are the rare few that have the ability to instinctively give some heart back. Not money nor ‘face’ but really that understanding that you gain through friendship and time spent.

I believe that one day I’ll find a life long friend. But untill then: the search is going to be long and painful. No one wants to die alone. Everyone wants to be understood. Love through patience.

Watch, Listen and Learn.

Steve Lawler - Live @ Space in Ibiza, Spain (Radio FG)