Undomesticated women

Life Dating & Relationships
1

Girls, how domesticated are you? (Men, feel free to answer for your SO)

  • My only domestic quality is that I live in a house.
  • I can do instant noodles, and wash the dishes every week.
  • My home is habitable, but unwillingly so.
  • A pleasant home and good food are essential to me, and it doesn’t take long to do the housework if you play loud music and drink a lot at the same time.
  • I’ll swing by the chintz store on the way to my cake-decorating class.
0 voters

***** Edit: Warning, this thread contains sweeping generalisations. Please feel free to refute them by providing personal examples. I should also add that this thread was not started as a gripe, nor am I experiencing relationship problems. Think of it as a social commentary. *****

I’m ironing shirts, and bikerchick has been banished to the kitchen with instructions not to come out until she’s learned to follow the 4 instructions on the back of a packet of thai curry paste. I’m tired of cooking.

I remember once having a girlfriend that could cook. But I’ve never known a woman that didn’t leave her towel in a heap on the bed or couch, nor one that could use an iron. (This discussion does not encompass mothers.)

Who cleans the bathroom in your household? Who puts the bedsheets in the washing machine? Who takes them out?

It seems to me that modern women have got so carried away with the joys of riding a motorbike and trimming a spinnacker that they’ve never bothered learning basic survival skills. Am I alone in noticing this?

2

All at sea?

BroonAquatic

3

It depends on each individual chick or dude. What do you expect, dating a bikerchick? I hate to cook or clean. Whenever I have to do any of those things I get really, really angry.
However, I lived with a guy who couldn’t figure out anything in the house. The toilet flushing system broke…I fixed it with a bit of nylon. It’s still working two years later. They water heater is acting up. He’s freaking out, I go out and buy a new battery. It happens again a year later, he freaks out again. The neon light starts flashing…he freaks out because there is something wrong with the wiring. I go out and buy a new one. Anything…key doesn’t work anymore, leak in ceiling, whatever…he walked around for ages mumbling about it until I phoned the landlord to fix it. He also has the landlord’s number, but…
But I certainly don’t like cleaning. I have a maid.

4

I love to cook, and clean MY house. But I am not looking forward to marriage :raspberry:

I guess the modern woman is out conquering the world, getting degrees, and trying to be an equal partner to her men. I don’t remember Betty Crocker being on my required reading lists in college. :unamused:

Edit**** Celebrate what bikerchick DOES bring to the relationship that wasn’t there before. A surefire way to kill the love/romance is to keep checks and balances of what each of you do in the relationship, or to become resentful for something that you have no control over. If you wanna to cook, then share with her your expertise. Invite her to join you when you make that great meal, making sure she assists you. If she see how fun it can be, who knows, you maybe on the road to conversion…

5

[quote=“twonavels”]It depends on each individual chick or dude. What do you expect, dating a bikerchick? I hate to cook or clean. Whenever I have to do any of those things I get really, really angry.
However, I lived with a guy who couldn’t figure out anything in the house. The toilet flushing system broke…I fixed it with a bit of nylon. It’s still working two years later. They water heater is acting up. He’s freaking out, I go out and buy a new battery. It happens again a year later, he freaks out again. The neon light starts flashing…he freaks out because there is something wrong with the wiring. I go out and buy a new one. Anything…key doesn’t work anymore, leak in ceiling, whatever…he walked around for ages mumbling about it until I phoned the landlord to fix it. He also has the landlord’s number, but…
But I certainly don’t like cleaning. I have a maid.[/quote]

You’re the one to have around the house. :laughing:

6

Noone’s perfect. I love:

  1. Cooking
  2. Scrubbing the bathroom (find the scrubbing therapeutic)
  3. Gardening

Detest:

  1. Ironing
  2. Dusting
  3. Vacumming

If I can find a SO who loves doing the stuff I detest, then I think we’re halfway there! :smiley:

7

[quote=“mlpgd”]Noone’s perfect. I love:

  1. Cooking
  2. Scrubbing the bathroom (find the scrubbing therapeutic)
  3. Gardening

Detest:

  1. Ironing
  2. Dusting
  3. Vacumming

If I can find a SO who loves doing the stuff I detest, then I think we’re halfway there! :smiley:[/quote]

Not me, my list is about the same. :laughing:

8

My So cooks, I wash the dishes.

He does the laundry, I fold them.

He vacumns the living room, I clean the bathroom.

So on and so forth. We do what we like, and leave what we don’t like to the other person. When we both don’t like something, we have a discussion of how to even it out between the two of us.

It works. (But, I am not very domesticated; I’ll admit that. Probably wouldn’t make a very good housewife. Okay, but not great. Maybe in my 50s I will get better. Right now I am happy with where I am at.)

Good luck, Loretta.

9

[quote=“Jubom”]My So cooks, I wash the dishes.

He does the laundry, I fold them.

He vacumns the living room, I clean the bathroom.

So on and so forth. We do what we like, and leave what we don’t like to the other person. When we both don’t like something, we have a discussion of how to even it out between the two of us.

It works. (But, I am not very domesticated; I’ll admit that. Probably wouldn’t make a very good housewife. Okay, but not great. Maybe in my 50s I will get better. Right now I am happy with where I am at.)

Good luck, Loretta.[/quote]

Then … who is doing the ironing? :astonished: :wink:

10

You mean blowjobs?*

This thread was started in open, not in D&R, because I’m not having relationship problems and I’m not really asking about relationships. (I aksed who does the housework in your relationship because if you’re not in a relationship then it’s hard to compare how you share out the work.)

I have observed that modern women seem unable to function independently in all areas. Nama says, “I guess the modern woman is out conquering the world, getting degrees, and trying to be an equal partner to her men.” But I feel that women are not equal, because they’re so busy trying to be cool that they can’t take care of the basics for themselves. Equal partners share the load, and it has been my experience that modern women don’t know how to do that.

I find it rather odd, and not very desirable from the perspective of equality, that women should be dependent on men to put dinner on the table and pick up their smelly laundry. Surely a woman should be just as capable as a man at basic housekeeping? But not any more.

Take Twonavels: I hate to cook or clean. Whenever I have to do any of those things I get really, really angry.

I don’t lie awake at night fantasizing about scrubbing the kitchen floor either, in fact I’ve put it off as long as humanly possible. But someone has to do this shit, and it seems that many women are unwilling to do their fair share.

Personally I think it’s great that women are abandoning their traditional roles, men too. I should (I have to) be capable of looking after myself, and not dependent on some nice domesticated girlie to cook and clean for me. And, as twonavels points out, there are all sorts of jobs around the home that don’t have to be the exclusive responsibility of the man. But it seems that most modern women have turned their backs on equality in favour of being looked after.

Talking to adult students it seems that very few of either gender can cook. Traditional gender roles dominate in Taiwan to the extent that I’m not surprised when a man tells me he can’t microwave baked beans, although I don’t think that’s a good state of affairs. But the girls are mostly just as bad. I would say that at least 2/3 of modern Taiwanese women are unable to take care of themselves, so they’ve achieved ‘equality’ by reducing their competence to the same level.

Are western women any better?

*Please do not take any notice of the blowjobs comment. I do it because it’s expected of me, and because I like blowjobs, not because it’s strictly relevant to the discussion.

11

Who needs to cook in Taiwan when every 20 m you have a convenience store, eatery or restaurant?

Modern Taiwanese women (mostly city girls) have no clue! Same goes for many modern western women tho.

12

[quote=“mlpgd”]Noone’s perfect. I love:

  1. Cooking
  2. Scrubbing the bathroom (find the scrubbing therapeutic)
  3. Gardening

Detest:

  1. Ironing
  2. Dusting
  3. Vacumming

If I can find a SO who loves doing the stuff I detest, then I think we’re halfway there! :smiley:[/quote]

You come and scrub my bathrooms, and bring your ironing. I actually don’t mind ironing. Cooking is usually fun, so we’ll be fighting over the kitchen, unless you volunteer to scrub it first. That’s waaaay overdue.

13

Loretta, I bet that if she gave you a blowjob every time you were cooking, you wouldn’t be complaining at all. Actually, you would be cooking 3 meals a day, maybe 5. Well, as manys as you can handle.

But back to your topic, it’s just not that easy to do it all. Unless you are forced to take care of everything yourself, you just won’t. I can cook, but I won’t unless I’m starving because I just don’t like it. There are just too many options out there, why should I have to deal with it?

I do the laundry and I’ll clean enough to not live in a pig sty.
I find usually the man still wants the women to clean, cook and generally take care of everything while holding down a career. Not only do they want that, they expect it. At least, a lot of the men I’ve met. Well, I never got that. I’m working, you’re working and we are both tired, so why is that a woman’s job?
The funny thing is, you seem to be complaining about the opposite.

14

[quote]You mean blowjobs?*[/quote]:smiley: :smiley: LOL

[quote]I have observed that modern women seem unable to function independently in all areas. Nama says, “I guess the modern woman is out conquering the world, getting degrees, and trying to be an equal partner to her men.” But I feel that women are not equal, because they’re so busy trying to be cool that they can’t take care of the basics for themselves. Equal partners share the load, and it has been my experience that modern women don’t know how to do that.
[/quote]
I think that women aren’t trying to be cool, but rather we have more options open to us, in terms of, self-expression and exploration. We are not confined by our mother’s or grandmother’s upbringing. Plus, since technology has enabled humans to advance by leaps and bounds, plus economy factors and so forth, no one really seems to have the time to do much anymore.

Loretta wrote:

[quote]I find it rather odd, and not very desirable from the perspective of equality, that women should be dependent on men to put dinner on the table and pick up their smelly laundry. Surely a woman should be just as capable as a man at basic housekeeping? But not any more.[/quote]You mean surely a man should be just as capable as woman at basic housekeeping? Most of the men I have met, in my age group, have lacked those skills…Maybe you are encountering the female version of “bachelorhood”?

Loretta wrote:

[quote]I don’t lie awake at night fantasizing about scrubbing the kitchen floor either, in fact I’ve put it off as long as humanly possible. But someone has to do this shit, and it seems that many women are unwilling to do their fair share.[/quote] That depends. If you are living with someone, yea you should be willing to do it as a sign of respect for someone else’s personal space. But if you are in your own house you have a right to live like you want. It’s not too appealing to the SO, but it is your house.

Loretta wrote:

[quote]Talking to adult students it seems that very few of either gender can cook. Traditional gender roles dominate in Taiwan to the extent that I’m not surprised when a man tells me he can’t microwave baked beans, although I don’t think that’s a good state of affairs. But the girls are mostly just as bad. I would say that at least 2/3 of modern Taiwanese women are unable to take care of themselves, so they’ve achieved ‘equality’ by reducing their competence to the same level.
[/quote]I think that if the TW women you are encountering are unable to take care of themselves, it’s not because they’ve achieved ‘equality’ but rather, they are still at home with mom, who takes care of them. Why bother to learn something when some can do it for you?

Loretta wrote:

What’s ‘better’? Define that? Which western women? I’m fairly certain that if I went back to America, I could find a handful of women who could do the basics and then some. Heck, I just spent 4 days overhauling my bathroom, putting sealant on the walls.:loco: If that’s taking care of myself, forget it!!! I’m gonna act like Scarlett, and look for my own Rhett Butler, cause that shit was for the birds…

15

Yep, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t get it done. Like I said, I’ve got a maid to do the cleaning. That’s my fair share of cleaning. I shouldn’t be expected to do the dishes, because I don’t WANT to cook. I buy dinner boxes. If the SO doesn’t eat those, he’s welcome to cook for himself and eat and clean whatever he cooked and used. Or roommate, for that matter.
I fell for that gig once or twice with the roommate…I came home to find that he has made some lamb roast thing and he goes well, it’s impossible for me to finish all. Do you want some?
I said OK, had some, and then he insisted that I do the dishes because he had done the cooking. So then you have a good meal, but you are stuck with the stress of cleaning and the whole kitchen, and the house, smells like food.
No, thank you. :slight_smile:

16

I think the issue isn’t about being domesticated, but keeping a neat or messy home. Domesticated to me, means that somebody’s entire domain or occupation is in the home. Some of those people are real slobs, too.

17

Ack.

My ex (and this is part of the reason she’s my ex), was totally inept at housework. She expected me to do my thing and then come home and clean the house as well. She also professed to be a “feminist” and that was part of her problem with domestic duties. Her “feminist” friends would mock her for cleaning or dusting or even cooking.

I think there is very much a sort of “feminist” mafia backlash against women who are domestically competant. It’s like, “WTF? Why you cleaning/cooking/scrubbing the toilet?” This sort of behavior was pretty prevalent in the circles I hung out with in college.

In any case, before you load the 16 inch guns and blast me notice the use of quotation marks.

Just an observation. Anyone else encounter the same?

18

Respect.

You don’t have to view this as a male or female thing. I didn’t read the entire post so please forgive me. Simple: if one or the other doesn’t have time to do this or that then by all means complete the task yourself.
If she’s a horrible cook then do it yourself or at the very least grab dinner for both of you. Agree on tasks that both of you can handle or wouldn’t mind doing. Example: you hate cleaning the bathroom but don’t mind washing dishes the outcome is self explainatory.

Shared duties can make the relationship run like a well oiled machine but of course if you would prefer to starve or live in you own filth, your problem.

I leave my dominance in the bedroom.

19

I can’t believe you’d associate with women that have so little respect for towels.

20

[quote=“pissedpookie”]Ack.

My ex (and this is part of the reason she’s my ex), was totally inept at housework. She expected me to do my thing and then come home and clean the house as well. She also professed to be a “feminist” and that was part of her problem with domestic duties. Her “feminist” friends would mock her for cleaning or dusting or even cooking.

I think there is very much a sort of “feminist” mafia backlash against women who are domestically competant. It’s like, “WTF? Why you cleaning/cooking/scrubbing the toilet?” This sort of behavior was pretty prevalent in the circles I hung out with in college.

In any case, before you load the 16 inch guns and blast me notice the use of quotation marks.

Just an observation. Anyone else encounter the same?[/quote]

So some how I wouldn’t be a ‘feminist’ if I cleaned my own toliet? Okay, what am I if I get someone to do it for me?