Urinal Etiquette

[llary]

After living with those blessed female creatures all my life with nary a man in sight, I was of course trained that the toilet seat STAYS DOWN. Should I happen to visit any female friends there is literally no end to their delight when they find the seat well and truly down on my departure.

Now I’m living with a male Taiwanese roommate who spits feathers every time I leave the seat down. It’s not so easy to break 22 years of female training, yanno. And actually, yeh, why do men have to stand up to pee? Is it the only way we can assert ourselves as manly men in today’s modern society? I’d just be grateful if guys I share a bathroom with could manage to keep at least 80% of their piss inside the toilet.

@Incubus

What about the toilet seat rule? Should I leave it up or down after I’m done? I remember vaguely the Taiwanese rule and the Western rule say the opposite.

[llary]

Two days ago I was using the facilities in an MRT station when a guy came up to the adjacent urinal, stared down at my family jewels and started laughing hysterically.

He was either retarded or drunk, but come on now. That’s enough to give any guy a complex.

[quote=“Truant”]Yesterday, I was mystfied once again.

Picture this. Men’s washroom, 5 urinals along one wall, all empty.

I enter the washroom and go to the end one. Some dude comes in, as has happened many times previously, (diff dude, btw) and does he stand at the other end as urinal etiquette dictates? No, he stands right beside me.

Gentlemen. This violates the Universal Law of Urinal Etiquette, which doesn’t seem to apply in Taiwan.

To test your Urinal Etiquette click here (A bit of Friday fun)[/quote]

[Comrade_Stalin]

@llary

Two days ago I was using the facilities in an MRT station when a guy came up to the adjacent urinal, stared down at my family jewels and started laughing hysterically.

At that point, you should have done what Comrade Stalin did the last time that happened to him. You simply turn to the offender and continue to piss…all down his leg.
While he stands there mouth agape in amazement, you grab his head and smash it repeatedly into the urinal. You then zip up (after shaking off the last few drops) and leave him sprawled unconscious in a puddle of warm piss. Don’t forget to pull your hat down low because of the security cameras.

*This is Tip 173 from my upcoming book Comrade Stalin’s Guide to Fine Taipei Living.

[Belgian_Pie]

@mofangongren

One problem with the sit toilets is that you can get diseases from them.

Disease from toilet seats? Never heard about seats invading my body … the little critters on them, they can do some damage but not the seat.

Anyways … you’ll have to be carefull … even with using liquid soap in restrooms … in Holland they tested 200 puiblic restrooms and found one in sample of liquide soap a bacteria that could trigger an eye infection if it got to your eye, by let’s say washing/wetting your face. There wasn’t enough detergent in the soap they figured out.

And watch out for the spillers, they could splash your shoes …

We are all lucky that no one uses the corner of a restroom to do his thing …

I discovered at my place thet even women leave the seat up … but I prefer that everyone sits down on the seat and not stand on the pot or splash around happily …

[Ironman]

@llary

Now I’m living with a male Taiwanese roommate who spits feathers every time I leave the seat down. It’s not so easy to break 22 years of female training, yanno.

Now I know why the new toilet seat I brought had a stainless steel spring to bring the seat up. I had to break off the springs. I actually figured the thing had been manufactured backward by mistake.

I can’t imagine females being very happy with having to grab the toilet seat after which time their hands could not be considered to be clean then do whatever they do in the small room with no windows.

Its all backwards and unhygenic.

At least with putting the seat up after use the very next thing you do is wash your hands. This surely makes sense?

[OutofChaos]

I’m sure the following is a no-no in the expanded version of the Universal Law of Urinal Etiquette:

Headline: Student Allegedly Urinates in Ice Machine

[quote]CARLISLE, Ky. (Nov. 18) - A Nicholas County High School student was suspended after he was accused of urinating in an ice machine that at least 31 people got ice from before the incident was reported.

Ben Buckler, chief of police for Nicholas County Schools, said another student dared the boy, who told officials he relieved himself in the ice machine in the gymnasium lobby just before physical education class Wednesday.

School law officials say charges will be filed, although officials were still trying to decide Thursday what to charge him with.

He was suspended for 10 days, pending an expulsion hearing.

Other students witnessed the incident, but it wasn’t reported to Principal Doug Bechanan until Thursday morning. By the time the machine was taken out of service, some students and staff had taken ice from the machine.

School officials contacted the Department of Public Health in Frankfort.

“They said it was gross and morally wrong but not a health risk,” Buckler said.

Health officials said urine is sterile because the body has its own filtering system. If any bacteria did make it through, the ice’s temperature would have killed it.

But some students, parents and staff remained worried.

The Nicholas County School Board is picking up doctor bills “to ease the minds” of those who were exposed and want to be checked out anyway.[/quote]

I do admire that with multiple witnesses, the headline reads “Allegedly.”

OOC

[Belgian_Pie]

@Tyio Ma

Well, in our office the gentlemen’s room is a permanent habitat of cleaning ladies! I mean, you’ll find them there most of the time. Locals just ignore the fact, but I find it disturbing when lady enters the room and starts mopping the floor right behind my back while I’m taking a piss.

Next time just turn around with your dick … or is it little johnny … anyways, Willy out and start a conversation … guaranty she won’t be back again …

[engerim]

[quote=“Truant”]Yesterday, I was mystfied once again.

Picture this. Men’s washroom, 5 urinals along one wall, all empty.

[/quote]

Well, thats nothing compared to what I experienced in the Chong yo department store in Taichung. I had my relaxing piss and a grandmother walked in with her young grandchild. Even if the kid is a young boy, doesn’t it come to her mind that she has nothing to do in the mens restroom? :loco: Well, but I don’t think that was very Taiwan typical. That could have happend anywhere else. But in here nobody will say anything. I should have turned around before zipping it…

[llary]

Taiwanese grandmas work on a different time-space continuum to the rest of us where the normal laws of common sense and decency no longer apply. Maybe the girls’ bathroom has too many ghosts this month?

@engerim

Well, thats nothing compared to what I experienced in the Chong yo department store in Taichung. I had my relaxing piss and a grandmother walked in with her young grandchild. Even if the kid is a young boy, doesn’t it come to her mind that she has nothing to do in the mens restroom? :loco: Well, but I don’t think that was very Taiwan typical. That could have happend anywhere else. But in here nobody will say anything. I should have turned around before zipping it…

[Incubus]

Apparently, this is Japanese urinal etiquette: when pissing into the urinal, or toilet for that matter, one should avoid producing the sound of falling water. An ex who lived in Japan chided me time and again for “making a splash” instead of aiming at the dry part of the bowl.

[Comrade_Stalin]

@Incubus

Apparently, this is Japanese urinal etiquette: when pissing into the urinal, or toilet for that matter, one should avoid producing the sound of falling water. An ex who lived in Japan chided me time and again for “making a splash” instead of aiming at the dry part of the bowl.

[i]Real[/i] ninjas piss in their pants. Quietly.

[Dangermouse]

I am mystified by the same phenomenon involving guys getting too close at the urinals.

Yep, I know exactly what you mean. They are pressed against the edges of the urinal - disgusting! They may as well just climb in.
For hygeinical and technical reasons, I stand well back.

Of course having elephantiasis of the nuts means that I often need a bit of extra space on both sides.

You’re talking a load of bollocks here.

[ceevee369]

When urinating outside, please beware of the direction of the wind !

[Ironman]

Of course having elephantiasis of the nuts means that I often need a bit of extra space on both sides.

@Dangermouse

You’re talking a load of bollocks here.

As a child my next door doctor neighbours library was endlessly fascinating. Most memorable of all was a picture of some poor african dude with his huge elephantitis testicles in a wheelbarrow.

[Big_Fluffy_Matthew]

[quote=“Ironman”]As a child my next door doctor neighbours library was endlessly fascinating. Most memorable of all was a picture of some poor african dude with his huge elephantitis testicles in a wheelbarrow.[/quote]He wasn’t african

[Belgian_Pie]

The ones that are pressed against the pot are shaped extremely small or have a prostate problem and have no pressure on it …

Actually … it’s medically proven that sitting down to urinate is healthier than standing up … standing won’t empty your bladder completely …

In Holland (Schiphol airport) they have urinals with an aiming support … something they definitely need in Taiwan because they piss all over the place

[mofangongren]

@belgian pie

[quote=“mofangongren”]One problem with the sit toilets is that you can get diseases from them.

Disease from toilet seats? Never heard about seats invading my body … the little critters on them, they can do some damage but not the seat.[/quote]

I used to work at a place where the cleaning lady was sure it was our boss who was standing over the sit-toilet seat and spraying nasty squirty shits all over the toilet without cleaning up. She was really ticked off. He was a westerner, which made it extra weird.

However, one problem as well is when you’re stuck having to put a double kink in the hose to avoid having it hang down into the toilet water.

[Truant]

[quote=“mofangongren”]
However, one problem as well is when you’re stuck having to put a double kink in the hose to avoid having it hang down into the toilet water.[/quote]

esp when the water is cold