Wack Things in Taiwan 2018



Trying to sift through opaque internet snark to ascertain what that means. Not really sure.

Sorry mate


In Louisa Cafe, young dude at the counter …

What do you want to order ?
Medium latte cold
Here or to go?

Then we start again as he punches it into the machine…

Hot or cold ?
Medium or Big
Here or to go ?

That will be 65ntd.

This is not the first time this has happened to me either!!!

What do you reckon next time, Hollywood style grab em by the collar and say ‘look buddy if you think I have all day repeating my coffee order I hope you like drinking thru straws for the next six months…then walk out with my shotgun under my overcoat’.

What is it they say…People rise to the position that they are qualified for ?


Give him one of these…


This is easier.




And here I thought it was my shite language skills; gtk.


It’s what they do, follow SOP, brain on zero, and follow your gut!

Get it in writing and hand it over each time you order.


actually I’ll take it to go

Errrr, did I say cold?
I actually want cold cold
Can I have extra hot cold cold hot cold
Is that Taiwan dollar?
Is this one a 10$ coin or a 50$ coin
Did I order a medium or a small?
You don’t have small?
I’ll take a large!
Wait, what was the original size I picked?
Whatever, just give me a small.
Do you have soy milk?
I don’t do dairy…
I’m willing to pay extra
throw a bunch of random coins on the counter, making sure they fall everywhere
How much did I give you?
Hang on a sec
pretend to answer a phone call and start screaming at some imaginary person about nothing important
Sorry, it was a cold medium extra hot soyboy latte I ordered, correct?
Wait a minute…
I just remembered I’m allergic to coffee.
Just give me a hot water with lemon.
run out of the Louisa cafe and start screaming about how it’s ALL the DPPs fault

go to 7/11
Order an iced americano
enjoy it


Soyboy? Really?


Coffee with ice cubes, sounds not really nice. Now Iced Americano on the other hand.


Isn’t there an urban legend that Harrison Ford had diarrhea or something while filming that day and just “shot” the sword dude, and it was a better outcome for that scene.


Supposedly true.


"Water supply to households in parts of New Taipei City and Taoyuan is to be cut from 4am to 4pm today to allow for maintenance work at the Bansin Water Treatment Plant in New Taipei City’s Sanxia District (三峽).

Water is be turned off in Sanxia, Yingge (鶯歌), Shulin (樹林), Tuchen (土城), Xinzhuang (新莊) and Banqiao (板橋) districts, the New Taipei City Water Resources Department said.

Taiwan Water Corp announced last week that the areas in Taoyuan that would be affected are Bade (八德) and Guishan (龜山) districts.

Residents in the affected areas are advised to store water ahead of time and to turn off electric water pumps to avoid damage or fires during the 12-hour shut off, the department said."

A little late, ain’t it?


It ain’t like people in those places wash all that much anyways, no biggie.


OK, this is a little far-fetched.


So my kid’s best friend was over, and she was telling stories about her grandfather, who is apparently a famously epic drunk.
He lives out in the county somewhere, and one of his favourite pastimes when he gets liquored up is to go around the neighborhood pissing on the stoops of his Mainlander neighbors.
If he’s on his balcony and drinking, if he sees any of them walking past he’ll yell at them to fuck off back to China.
It’s at this point that my kid cuts in, noting that, in fact, his wife, her friend’s grandmother, is from Big China. Her friend just kind of nods and shrugs, like now you know why he does it.
She then cites one occasion where the two of them were having a massive row culminating with her hucking the big water kettle and beaning Gramps.
Next thing you know, he’s in the living room and, that’s right, he’s pissing all over her TV watching chair.

I think I may have found the perfect drinking buddy.


Closed group.



So would this be the 1895 group, the 1949 group or more recent immigrants?


Pretty sure Gramps is an equal opportunity urinary terrorist, anyone after 1650 is doubtless fair game.