I’ve no ideas for the script… however, if you wish to get some money, just have showings of the movie in a decent sized place. Advertise them as free admittance… lock the doors after everyone is inside and then charge people to get out when the movie is over.
Will there be some spooky twist at the end like the 6th Sense ? The foreigner can turn to be not an American. They’d never expect that.
Yes, good, I like it, very symbolistic indeed. Scrap the exterior, scrutinize the interior. As it’s a no-budget project, why not make it a monologue by some lone translator talking to himself while doing those thrilling short stories, meandering off now and then in all sorts of maybe unplanned directions, all well lighted of course! I have an old lamp I could loan you for free. Xpet.
Vicious plot, gotta love it!
Make the foreigner an ROC citizen - like Poagao.
I know! It could be a 12-step group, “foreigners anonymous!” where we tell each other how we try to overcome our problem (being foreigners). That would let it take place in one nicely-lit room.
I admit that I am powerless over bignosedness and turn my will and my life over to five thousand years of Chinese history and all of the wisdom, truth and beauty that entails.
I think Jesus will be coming up for co-writing credits soon.
P.S. Iris and friends. Yes I am bob. The guy you met this evening. There is little doubt in my mind that your lovely countenances would be exceptionaly well recieved if and when we ever figure out what we are doing here.
Do you know how sometimes you get an idea, or somebody gives you one, and the more you think about it the more brilliant it in fact appears. Well, I am having one of those moments just now, Thank you Jesus! 
O.K. lets assume for discusion sake that we are making this film for a Taiwanese audience and our purpose is to make something unique, suprising, thoughtful, multi-dimensional, nuanced, dialogue driven…
Could there be anything much better than the idea jesus came up with(not certain that he was serious actually but that doesn’t matter). We could easily come up with loads of insightful, sometimes sincere, sometimes tongue in cheek dialogue. The twelve steps would give structure to the film and at the same time introduce Taiwanese people to concepts that I know would be interesting to them. If each character did one step with commentary from his Taiwanese sponsor we could cover an enormous amount of territory and introduce enough characters to keep the whole thing fresh.
Most Taiwanese I think are just as tired as us of the stereotypical view of both westerners and themselves. This would give us an opportunity to demonstrate that we actually understand and feel this culture and at the same time poke a bit of warm hearted fun both at ourselves and at them.
I’ll be honest this started as a bit of a joke. I just wanted to see what kind of creativite impulses I could stir up. Actually now though this seems at least remotely feasible in the real world.
I think its a spectacular idea, and I think Screaming Jesus’ approach is brilliant. I just wonder if the Taiwanese are familiar with the concept of the twelve-step reform process… if they are not, that part might fly right over their heads.
Exactly. It will be a challenge to introduce the 12 step concept particularly within the context of a farce. I wonder though, does it make any difference if the audience comes away with a clear understanding of the traditional twelve step process? Perhaps some curiosity would be enough.
If someone could post the twelve steps that would be terrific. We haven’t covered cut and paste and the institute yet 
and they need to be re-written and translated.
Perhaps the film could begin with a little scroll by that tells the story of little billy or somebody struggling with his big ego and tendency to criticize each and everything he encounters. Tell the story of how uncontrollable his life becomes as he alienates more and more people and becomes so lonely and despaerate that he begins to contemplate suicide.
Then along comes his salvation in the form of the Dali Lama’s “Art of Happiness” which is given to him by a woman who later becomes his mentor in B A (bignose annonymous).
Cut to meeting room. Participants slowly wander in, mingle a bit ( I almost said chit chat!) and eventually take there seats in front of a big mirror. The camera would face the mirror as well so the entire thing would be shot with each of us able to see ourselves and the rest of the group simultaneously. Under the mirror and off frame we could put some cliff notes. Everybody gets one stage to discusss and, in a break from AA procedure, his/her speech is followed by a commentary from his sponsor.
The 12 Suggested Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous
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We admitted we were powerless over alcohol–that our lives had become unmanageable.
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Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
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Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
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Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
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Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
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Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
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Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
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Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
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Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
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Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
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Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
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Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
The Twelve suggested steps of Bignose Anonymous
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We admitted that we were powerless over being an arrogant bignose - that our lives had become umanageble.
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Came to believe that a power higher than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
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Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the genius and wisdom of Chinese culture as we understood it.
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Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
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Admitted to the great Chinese people, ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
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Were entirely willing to let the great Chinese people remove all of these defects of character.
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Humbly asked them to remove all of our shortcomings.
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Made a list of all of the people we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
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Made direct amends to them except when to do so would injure them or others.
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Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admited it.
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Sought through meditation and discourse to improve our contact with the great Chinese people, as we understand them, hoping only for knowledge of their will and the power to carry that out.
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Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other arrogant bignoses everywhere, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Instead of going step-by-step, maybe you could just have different foreigners sitting in a circle giving their testimony. This way different actors could all have their moment in the sun, and vary the monotony that way. 
If you’re feeling ambitious, you could even splice in footage taken outside the room–say, foreigner sitting on motorcycle with wife and five kids, no helmet, or manning the betel-but booth.
There should be a newcomer to the group, who is introduced to the concept and to all the other foreigners. Of course he should “fall off the wagon” at some point, prompting an intervention. (Or should he try to get everybody else to fall of the wagon with him, in order to get them off his back?)
If you do this, just be sure to give the glory to Jesus.
I just imagined it chewing.
Jesus - Yes I think a discussion would be better than a series of presentaions too.
Right now I am thinking that an interesting film could be made if the basic idea was that we were going to mirror the stages of culture shock: infatuation, rejection, acceptance; without ever actually saying the words culture shock. The rejection segment would give us all a good opportunity to air our grievances. Perhaps it could end with most people agreeing that both sides had something to learn from each other.
Black and white interiors/ color exteriors then?
Of course you get credit.
Do you speak Chinese at all? Perhaps you could be one of the actors in our little production.
Moderately okay. Is there going to be a script, or would I be expected to write my own lines?
If you can get a hot leading xiaojie, I’ll volunteer for the bedroom scenes, in which I’ll slobber and grunt in perfect foreigner Mandarin. I’ll even let the makeup people glue some hair to my shoulders and arse for heightened dramatic effect.
Jesus - I was hoping that we could hash out a general idea and attempt to translate it here, and then get together one night and make a party out of improvising from that basic idea. The real challenge for most of us will be bringing our chinese up to snuff. So, I guess that’s a yes. You gotta write your own and translate it to Chinese. I think if we can get four or five waigourens and four five sponsors we will be doing well.
Omni - I was wondering when you would finally chip in.
I wish to play role of the corpse. Either dead or re-animated.
An interesting thing to consider about “Waiguoren the Dianying” as it is so far concieved is that at the outset many Taiwanese might not get that we are kidding. Likewise many foriegners might not get that we are not entirely kidding. It occured to me that at the beginning of the film we ought to comport ourselves extremely badly so as to add to the effect. As the evening progresses we could become more and more composed but at the same time more cognizant of this cultures failings.
In terms of decor, I say shoot it in one room but slowly change the lighting and the decor to reflect the changing attitude of the characters.
Isn’t there some computer software that could help us with the translations?