This is what is called a “PIMP” (moreorless) around these parts. He has a totally separate life from his women and when he feels in the mood, they are at his beck and call. No offense, girl, but get a backbone. What? Do you sit, fetch and roll-over on command too?
This guy simply is not that into you. If he was, he’d make time for you. I’m keeping my fingers crossed and hoping you’ll heed the advice that is being given, but I have a strong suspicion you’re not going to learn until you find out he’s sleeping with another woman (and maybe not even then).
Your life your decision, too much wondering around. You want to wait and see because you feel like you give him the proper chance to redeem himself, and perhaps things can get better. Down deep low, you knwo if things will work out, it’s a simple question just whether you want to admit it to yourself or not. I am not here to make any hint or suggestion as to which direction you should go, but ask yourself, sincerely, don’t let others make decision for you then regret it later.
P.S. I don’t think it will be wise for you two to stay as friends after you guys break up, at least not right away, give yourself time and him time is a better solution.
In the case that you guys didn’t break up, well you two still need some serious talk, regarding to his life style that is.
Quentin, no. This is the SECOND post I have ever started about him. The <a href="Hey guys, I have a question keeps getting resurrected months later (not by me) so it seems to be a reoccurring theme.
Pookie, you are also wrong. I know he isn’t a pimp because he is always at work. And before you say “all men say that” blah blah blah, I can go to his work at any time day or night and find him there. He sleeps on the couch in his office half the time. So unless he is hooking up with one of the GUYS he works with, no other woman.
Bobepine, Too late. He is already jealous of all my guy friends. He tries to pretend he isn’t. But when he found out that someone else had taken me to the hospital for my blood tests, he looked like a puppy that had been kicked.
I am not really sure if you could call yesterday a date being that I was just taken along on a mini business trip so I could play on the beach while he did his thing, but we had much time to talk inn the car. He really doesn’t understand. He says he took me to two drs appointments the last week alone (true) and that I get pissy if he wakes me up at 4 AM to come over (only true when I am working) and that when he does stay over, he always wakes up by himself (true about 1/2 the time). He says only one month can count of the two because one of it he was out of town (true and I kinda forgot about that) and that he can’t do the things that are important to me if I am too busy bitching to explain to him what is important. (He called me a J.A.P. :raspberry: )
He says he thinks I am just grumpy cuz I have been sick, stuck home for two weeks, and my friends all left the country. He could be right, but that is only half of it. And he said he will work on the other half.
The way I see it, if he is willing to try I don’t see why I should end it yet. When we are together he treats me well. He just works way too much. WAY TOO MUCH.
He bitched that I don’t come study at his office anymore. Which I don’t because they threw out the desk I used. He also said (and this one actually kind of irritates me) that with as much as I love my job and with the way I shut everyone out when I have a project going, I of all people, should understand. While this is true, I do two or three major projects a month. He does two or three a week.
A) it is unfair on yourself, your old SO, and (more importantly) your new SO.
B) rebounding is stupid because good people get more shit than they deserve, and good people might be overlooked for who they really are because they are a reboundee.
Too true. Rebound goes one of two ways. 1) you wake up a month or two into in bed next to someone you abhor who you would have never given the time of day if they were not the absolute polar opposite of what you were trying to get over. 2) You wake up alone 6 months later realizing that the person you blew off because they were just a reboundee was actually a great human being that you would have been extremely lucky to have.
I am going to join Erhu in saying I wouldn’t want to say specifically what you should do.
Relationships are always different in reality that what anyone outside of it percieves it, for better or worse. Even your take on your own relationship isn’t enough for anyone to know what it is really like.
Obviously you are going thru a lot, and some days you want to end it and therefore justify that by mentioning all the bad stuff. The other days for whatever reason you want to stay with him, and you mention all the good stuff.
I have been there, I know what you are going thru. Just be strong, and try to look at it as objectively as you can. You are not thinking straight girl, take a deep breath. Don’t be scared.
I would definitely start broadening your social circle and getting out more to do your own thing. Not to spite him, but because it’s not healthy do be dependent on your SO (and Forumosa) so much.
Get out, get about! Get your own life!
Of course, you may have to wait out the typhoon for that. :s But good luck anyway.
I have my own social circle. If I only see him once every week or two, what do you think I do the rest of the time??
Right now, though. I seem to have no social circle at all. My two best friends that still live here are on vacation in the US right now. My two best friends who no longer live here recently left for the US and for England. The two friends I have that I normally hang out with other than those are working like dogs (same field, so same busy season) and don’t have time to hang out. I meet a lot of people. But I abhor bars and night clubs. Which is where most people want to go.
I am out of work right now due to an injury that to most people would be minor and not effect daily life, but being that it is a body part vital to my work, I am out until I am healed up.
So yeah. I am bored. BORED I TELL YOU!!! (Anyone need a sub??)
I am hardly dependant on my SO. I just think that if I am going to have an SO, i should get the benefits of having one. Like getting nookie more than once every two weeks. And having an excuse to dress up for dinner. And getting nookie. And gettinng to snuggle. And nookie. Maybe I should just start slipping him the llittle blue pill in his drinks…
I love him for his mind, sure. But his mind can’t make me pass out grinning.
That and the “passed out grinning” part of him has never made me want to throw things at him. His mind has. So :raspberry:
Let’s be honest. The mind is most of the reason a woman stays. But it isn’t what we talk to our friends about. And it certainly isn’t what causes that spontanious blushing smile that we occasionally have when thinking of our men.
My baby is hot. Very hot. But I meet good looking men every day. I stay because I like the way he thinks and the way he views the world. No matter how many times your woman tells you that you are a dumbass or what not, she stays for your mind. Good lovin is replacable. Good looking fades. But a good mind usually only gets better.
well, taiwan is a place where you have to work like 3rd world worker to make a good living… and most of us, taiwanese have different attitudes on money than you guys.
Looks like you’re just ranting now, so you two will be together at least for a while. If you want to analyze the situation objectively (which I don’t think ever happens to anyone, but worth a try?), then start writing things down, not for the sake of bitching afterwards with evidence; but for the sake of book keeping of what’s really going on. Human’s mind has a strong tendency of exaggeration every little things that we don’t like. In the end you know things better than anyone else here, it’s just whether you feel like seeing it or not.
