A few years back, I bought my wife a gold Valentine’s ring, with a gold rose on top. She twisted and turned it so much, it broke. Now, neither one of us wears a band…but I did get her a very spensive necklace that she does wear. 
find a store you feel you can trust … lotsa places will rip you off (not just here, everywhere).
i found a store owned by a mother of a student. she is a real gemologist (sp?), and spoke english to boot! very professional, and she had no problem with me taking my time through the purchase. in fact, because i didn’t like the rings in the window, she ordered three stones that were in the range that i was looking for, and pointed out the pros and cons of each.
as mentioned previously, color isn’t that big a deal. very hard for the naked eye to distinguish between a D and a G, unless there is some training involved. look at cut and clarity. a huge ring with poor cut and clarity is not a good choice.
you can get certification, and the number should even be visible on the diamond with a magnifying device. there are various certifications around.
these are some links that i looked at when i was buying the thing about a year back:
about GIA:
diamonds-usa.com/diamond_rin … ge-gia.asp
and see if the store will show you the rappaport (sp?) listing when you want to buy, as that should tell you how much the store is making on the deal. some stores are reasonalbe, and others will try to make 250% or more. there’s a lot of info on the net - i spent 2 weeks just combing through all of it. i had more links, but they seem to have disappeared (i hope never to buy another one 
), but i felt a lot better when i bought, b/c i had some knowledge of what i was doing.
finally, take your own financial situaiton into account. if you are in debt, or not backed up by family $$$, buy a ring that you can afford. don’t blow another wad that will put you deeper in the hole, no matter what some salesclerk tells you. if you find a good store, you can get the same ring that someone else might pay twice as much for at another place.
good luck with the process.
(if anyone is in taoyuan, or wants to journey out here to look at the place i mentioned earlier, PM me. this woman beat all the other places hands down in every aspect of the buying purchase.)
Bad news: it’s almost impossible for a layman (even geologists) to meaningfully evaluate diamonds. There’s no such thing as a “consumer product report” for diamonds, and it’s hard to imagine how there ever could be.
Good news: folks in the diamond trade are almost universally honest. Oh sure, they drive hard bargains, but their career is over if word gets around that they lie or steal or anything like that. (Read Geshe Michael Roach’s book “The Diamond Cutter” which is actually about Buddhism.)
Bad news: diamonds are not a commodity whose price is subject to market fluctuations. Supply is dominated by one company (De Beers) which is frightened of Congolese diamonds not only because they involve civil war and bloodshed, but also because they might eat away at their monopoly.
More bad news: Other things that put the fear of God into diamond dealers are the “overhang”–i.e. a huge probable oversupply of diamonds that will collapse the whole market as soon as people find a feasible way to sell everyone’s grandmothers’ jewelry–and the development of artificial diamonds. (Currently it’s way, way too unprofitable to make artificial diamonds, but getting cheaper and cheaper to make fake ones that fool even some diamond merchants.) If you buy a diamond, and either of these things happen, then you’re screwed.
Good news: pearls are also traditional in East Asia, if you can get your sweetie to go for that idea.
I like this article from Wired:
wired.com/wired/archive/11.09/diamond.html
I suggest U go with a manufactured diamond, its just like the real thing if not better since they are perfect and plus 30% cheaper than the ones found in nature.
Here is one online store, although there are many retail ones too.
Here is one article on synthetic diamonds:
pubs.acs.org/cen/coverstory/…05diamonds.html
research the diamond field before U blow such a large investment, unlike electronics, its just a piece of rock, its honestly worth about $1,000NT realistically, just cause some company charges $100,000NT doesnt mean U should pay that price.
:bravo: Thanks for all the great replies, you have really helped me find the right track!
As far as how much to spend. Well honestly, two months after tax is $100,000. If I spent that kind of amount on an engagement ring I think I’m wasting my money. Please don’t think I’m cheap 
but personally with that sort of cash I’d rather buy her a piano or new computer, take her on holiday or put it towards the wedding. It is at the end of the day, just a rock…a symbol.
Neither of us wear jewelry, my watch is Swatch, no rings or necklaces. She has few pieces of…being honest…cheap stuff. So, I think to blow such a wad would be silly. Yes, of course she likes nice things, don’t we all?
Another question - If I go out and spend $100,000 on an engagement ring, then surely the wedding ring must cost more. Is there a rule for this also?
A couple of people mentioned taking her out to look at rings. How does that work? Pop the question and then go shopping or say "Hey, darling I’m thinking of asking you to marry me, how about we check out some rings eh? " Not very romantic is it?
Tigerman, I like your approach…you’ve got guts.
I do actually teach a gemologist. What do you think, ask for her advice?
From your experience Maoman, it looks like I should avoid department stores, right?
I really appreciate all the useful links and replies.
Cheers,
Loverman
In the States you can buy a diamond, and then get it set in a “proposal setting”. You propose, use that ring to thrill her (with the size of the diamond, I suppose!) and then she can go to the jeweler’s with you and pick out the setting she really likes for it. If you can’t communicate adequately about budgetary limits for this, then your marriage is probably doomed anyway, so it might be a good test run. 
My fiance proposed with a gold claddagh ring, but has since “replaced” it with a diamond originally his grandmother’s. He had the band re-done but kept the original antique setting. The stone isn’t enormous but it’s very nice and it has the added bonus that I know he didn’t blow a lot of money on it – money that as you have said can be better utilized elsewhere.
Yes, but it’s a great symbol. 
As for the price, what’s 100,000 NT divided by the number of years you plan to be married?
Not necessarily. Most wedding bands are less expensive. It’s all about da rock!
Maybe not as romantic, but better than getting her something she abhors.
Yup.
As for the industrial diamonds, or manufactured, it’s up to you. I tend to think it’s sort of like cheating. But honestly it’s up to you. Human beings are naturally acquisitive animals. And then there’s the family significance, passing the ring down to a son, daughter, or daughter in law. It depends on how you see yourself and your family and really, your legacy.
[quote=“Loverman”]A couple of people mentioned taking her out to look at rings. How does that work? Pop the question and then go shopping or say "Hey, darling I’m thinking of asking you to marry me, how about we check out some rings eh? " Not very romantic is it?
[/quote]
I suggest you take her out to a department store and walk around the rings area and casually ask her, hey, what kind of rings do you like? If she pops with sensitive questions, then you can say you are doing a research for a friend who’s going to get one for her gf or something. I am sure you can come up with lots of reasons.
Not necessarily. Most wedding bands are less expensive. It’s all about da rock![/quote]
My wife and I have very simple wedding bands. They’re platinum, and I think mine cost about 15k, while hers was under 10k. (Mine was, of course, much heavier…)
wedding bands can be much cheaper, unless you start putting diamonds in those too …
ours together were about $15 k, and i know many people who have paid less.
[quote=“Sweetie”][quote=“Loverman”]A couple of people mentioned taking her out to look at rings. How does that work? Pop the question and then go shopping or say "Hey, darling I’m thinking of asking you to marry me, how about we check out some rings eh? " Not very romantic is it?
[/quote]
I suggest you take her out to a department store and walk around the rings area and casually ask her, hey, what kind of rings do you like? If she pops with sensitive questions, then you can say you are doing a research for a friend who’s going to get one for her gf or something. I am sure you can come up with lots of reasons.[/quote]
I went thru this 5 or so years ago, and my wife being a fashion designer, I knew she would have pretty particular tastes in rings - So I figured buying a ring would be a reasonable risk (I sneakily checked this out).
(Remember, all things going well, that engagement ring will be worn for the rest of her lifetime, so it’s really important that she LOVES it.)
So, for us we got her ring made, after I proposed. That turned out to be a fantastic experience, as we designed the ring and the wedding bands together and found a great craftsman jeweller to make them for us exactly to the drawings. That ring is very unique.
It surprised me to find out at the time that custom made jewellery can often be cheaper than off-the-shelf stuff. Basically he charged me wholesale per gram of gold, for the diamond, and manufacturing time was charged at an hourly rate. When we got the engagement ring independent valued, it’s value was substantially more than I paid for it. (this was in NZ - Apparently many mass produced rings go thru a few middlemen, with their markups, before getting to retail)
If that’s too hard, then a HUGE solataire always seems to do the trick.
That is one way to look at it. On the other hand, many people getting engaged are relatively young, and the money that one might spend on an expensive ring is also money that will not be available for taking trips together, setting up a new home, planning for a family, etc.
Since every couple will have their own financial circumstances, I still feel that the 2 month rule is often inappropriately high. [color=blue]And keep in mind that this is a “rule” created by the industry that is trying to sell you the product in question. Imagine how odd most of us would find “rule” propogated by the auto industry telling us what % of our income we should spend on a car.[/color] Few of us would take this notion seriously.
For me, the amount spent should be:
(1) High enough to make your fiancee feel special, and happy. You would have a better idea of what this level is than we would, and certainly a better idea than the folks at DeBeers do.
(2) Low enough that you are not putting yourself in a difficult financial position right at the start of your marriage. If you spend too much, it is possible to end up limiting your ability to travel, go out to restaurants, buy a nice bottle of wine to enjoy at home, etc.
I am pretty sure I know what my wife’s reaction would have been if I had mortgaged the farm to buy a ring that was beyond my means and then told her that for the first 9 months of our marriage we were going to stay at home eating ramen noodles…
Hobbes → 
← Mrs. Hobbes
Hoobes, good points, and I am not suggesting that Loverman go into massive debt to get a sweet ring. Buy what you can work for.
If things go well, later on when he’s got more cashola, he can get her another one.
:uhhuh:
I guess it’s just me. But I probably would have choked my now-husband if he had given me a diamond. What a stupid waste of money :loco:
I do want wedding bands at one point (we just never spent enough time together to look for and buy any since we got married), and I’m ready to spend some money (a couple of hundred Euros) on these. Though it will be really hard for both of us to get used to actually wearing rings.
To be honest, I think I’d rather spend the money on a nice tv/sound system, a trip or a nice piece of furniture than something as silly and useless as a diamond.
But that might just be me…
Iris
[quote=“iris”]I guess it’s just me. But I probably would have choked my now-husband if he had given me a diamond. What a stupid waste of money :loco:
I do want wedding bands at one point (we just never spent enough time together to look for and buy any since we got married), and I’m ready to spend some money (a couple of hundred Euros) on these. Though it will be really hard for both of us to get used to actually wearing rings.
To be honest, I think I’d rather spend the money on a nice tv/sound system, a trip or a nice piece of furniture than something as silly and useless as a diamond.
But that might just be me…
Iris[/quote]
You kids and your funny ideers!
[quote=“Hobbes”]I am pretty sure I know what my wife’s reaction would have been if I had mortgaged the farm to buy a ring that was beyond my means and then told her that for the first 9 months of our marriage we were going to stay at home eating ramen noodles…
Hobbes --><-- Mrs. Hobbes[/quote]
But doesn’t she do that to you anyway, Hobbes?
Iris, I agree with you completely, and I’m pretty much on the same wavelength as you, Tigerman, with this one. I never gave so much as a thought to nonsense like engagement rings when it was time for me and the wife to get hitched (though we did exchange reasonably pricey wedding rings on the “big day”). Nor have I ever understood the attraction of possessing mega-expensive gemstones, unless you are so wallowing in money that whatever you fork out for them is insignificant to you and there’s nothing else you can think of to spend it on because you already have all other things that you could ever imagine wanting or needing.
not every decision in life needs to be practical or sensible.
From what I saw on “Sex and the City”, Charlotte’s engagement ring or wedding ring paid for the down payment of Carrie’s apartment.
Yes, that is true, but it was only so expensive because Charlotte’s fiance was impotent!