It’s about the same, both China and here it depends on the people and what they spend on the food. I have been to ones where we had fresh oven baked pizza, another where we had roast suckling pig. But I have been to some that really missed the mark.
One year we ended up being invited to 3 weddings in the family village, with food, singing, drinking, dancing, drinking beetle nuts and drunken uncles / aunties all being extra polite. I like these ones better than the 5 star hotels.
I once went to one in Dalian, , and all the men where given donkey penis soup. The woman had some other strange soup but I can’t remember what that was.
And the hong BAO, IMHO, depends on how close you are to the person who’s invited you/is tying the knot.
I have noticed that while female fashion might be relaxed,most ladies, especially older, like to wear nice jewelry for the occasion. Weddings are the only time I can get the emeralds out of the vault. So a nice distinctive piece if jewelry with a simple dress will be perfect. Hair done but not too complicated. Oh and nails, definitely.
OK, I’ve asked my wife (who unlike me, is Taiwanese). She thinks if you’re just going to the church wedding, there shouldn’t be a hongbao at all - but mainly, ask a Taiwanese attendee what they’d recommend. Bring a red envelope, just in case, range of $2,000-$3,000, depending on closeness: if others are pulling out red envelopes, you do the same.
She says the one time she’s been invited to a church wedding, there was a strong emphasis that they didn’t expect hongbao.
My wife’s reaction amuses me: “Why just not go?!” She thinks it’s odd for someone to invite an ex-employee unless they’re close.
Ha, I just gave my wife a little more detail, saying you’re an ex-intern: “Oh, for F’s sake, she doesn’t need to go!” (My wife is even less enthusiastic about attending weddings than I am.)
The wedding dress code here is an abomination so don’t worry too much. You will see any possible outfit, colour and combination (including sandals and baseball caps) around you.
For the hongbao, it depends on where the wedding is (north, south, city, countryside) and how close you are to the bride/groom. If it’s just a colleague or a friend’s friend something in the 2,000 range should do, even less for the roadside celebrations in the countryside.
But for JUST attending a church ceremony, and not going to the banquet? That’s the issue here. Yeah that’s too cheap for a banquet: but that’s not what she’s attending.
Edit: also relevant: what were you actually invited to? If you were only invited to the ceremony, that lessens the expectation for a red envelope. But if you were invited to the banquet, and you’re opting not to attend, then there’s more expectation you’ll give something. We recently gave $3,200 for a friend’s daughter’s wedding that we didn’t attend (my wife did those calculations based on a complex mix of our relationship and the venue).
Did you or will you get cookies? If yes, that also means hongbao are probably involved.
Holly crap am I glad we’re mostly at a stage where the weddings are done for our peers, and haven’t yet started for their kids.
Just attended a wedding (banquet) this weekend. Letting my guard down, please press F. Before a wedding, I always ask my friends and then give a bit more. Turns out the banquet this weekend was quite lavish. Maybe 25k per table, which goes a long ways around here.
Was sat five to a table, but in general ten is average. So 2500 would cover costs. I gave 3600 (decently lucky number). For my MA advisee, I gave 6000+, but that was to make a statement. Received a fair amount of positive feedback on that one. My weirdo American friend gave over 20k to his best buddy, but he had no concept and it became awkward. Just avoid 4s in the number, as you likely know.
In your case @Bitmap , 1600 is more than reasonable for not attending the banquet. 800 would be minimum and 2600 would be (overly) generous. Since the person was former boss, no need to overpay. If you see a station where you are to sign your name and other people are handing in their 紅包s, then write your name on the red envelope and pass it to them. Record keeping. You’ll get the same if you invite that person to your wedding.
As for dress code, for me, dark slacks and a polo were fine, but we weren’t in a church. The school principal wore a red blouse and dark slacks. Only the wedding party were really dressed up. I would say that a button-up shirt is recommended and dark slacks. For my advisee’s wedding I was way overdressed, suit and tie… Paying the respect.
P.S. I don’t understand all the displeasure expressed towards the quality of Taiwanese wedding banquets. Maybe it’s a northern thing, but down here in the south I have yet to attend a wedding that hasn’t had a wonderful spread. I’m no gourmand either. I do have a decent palate.
Lots of seafood, fresh fruit, etc. I loved every single dish (although I was least fond of the ubiquitous oily rice - 油飯). We all got a tub of ice cream to take home! Abalone, other shellfish, mutton chops, prawns, various seafood appetizers, and about a dozen different kinds of fruit. Plenty to take back home. Now I have a freezer full of leftovers to heat up when needed.
Ah. Well please forgive our general trousers bias.
If you’re female and wish to identify as such, especially through clothing and such, feel free to open a thread with us or via twitter. Some pretty conservative dress rules may be appropriate
Knee length skirt and belt, blouse and longer shoulder line. Square neck. No piercings. Tattoos and chains covered. Islamic and Jewish and Hindi signs covered.
No visible red bra line. Black ok but tan is better.
Dress code in Taiwan is ones designed to give you a heat stroke if you stood outside for more than a few seconds.
I would make sure any weddings I have would take place in January to spare people the torture of having to wear suits in the heat… Actually I wouldn’t even require people to wear suits. I hate them anyways.
It’s much more common for the couple to pick the dishes and usually they would pick stuff they know other people would like. I’ve heard of weddings serving very expensive steak (Grand Mayfull, the venue looks incredibly Western) these days.
beetle nuts and drunken uncles / aunties all being extra polite. I like these ones better than the 5 star hotels.
, and all the men where given donkey penis soup. The woman had some other strange soup but I can’t remember what that was.
