My FANCY story. Do you think I should post my true story which happened today? You have to give your passport number. I don’t want to end up on someone’s shitlist… You win the competition by the number of views your story gets, so I’m going to call it ‘Luscious Taiwanese Tits’. Also, I can’t see anywhere that says it must be in English, so if anyone is willing translate it into Cambodian or Xhosa, that would be funny.
Milkshake and traffic police: the funniest thing that I ever saw in Taiwan.
Taiwan is like a dream fantasy land where every day is a new adventure. With the stresses of everyday life in the big city, it’s easy to become down-hearted, but the sense of humour that Taiwanese people bring to everyday life has really ‘Touched My Heart’. Here’s an event which really brings home to me how Taiwanese people laugh at difficult situations and find joy in everything.
After another rewarding and fulfilling day teaching English, I stopped off at a coffee shop to treat myself to a latte. I sat outside with my coffee to watch the world go by and ponder my bright future as an educator in Taiwan when I saw a man stop his black Mercedes on a pedestrian crossing. Leaving the motor running, he scooted into the nearby McDonalds.
I was surprised that somebody so obviously well-educated and prosperous would have such a clear disregard for the traffic rules. I was also worried for the safety of the small children left in the car after it was almost hit by a blue truck full of pineapples, which whizzed around the corner through a red light. Fortunately, a police car came along just in time! The police started to write a ticket and to photograph the position of the car, just as the driver came running out of McDonalds with a couple of Happy Meals and a large beverage.
He handed the McNuggets through the sunroof to the hungry children inside the car, put the drink on the roof of the car and began to argue with the police who were sympathetic and polite to the large, new, black, expensive looking Mercedes driver. Nevertheless, in a situation like this, they had no choice but to throw the book at him and handed him his ticket. The driver got angry and shouted at the policemen who walked back to the car to discuss the situation.
Quick as a flash, the driver ran to the car, opened the door and zoomed away. One of the policemen chased after him while the other went to start the patrol car. However, it was not our hapless law enforcement officer’s lucky day because the driver had left his drink on the roof of the car. As the driver took off, the drink flew through the air, covering the poor plod with what looked like strawberry milkshake from head to toe.
The earth stood still for about five seconds. Then everyone in the coffee shop laughed. The McDonalds diners laughed. Passers-by stopped to join in the laughter. The entire Junior High School across the street laughed. Many, in fact, recorded the hopping mad policeman’s reaction on camera-phone for posterity.
He unholstered his gun, and there was a sharp intake of breath. Assaulting a police officer with a high calorie dairy based beverage is no laughing matter but hardly grounds for an execution! The manager of the McDonalds came running out of the restaurant with a towel saying ‘Bu hao yi si! Bu hao yi si!’ The law enforcer took the towel and wiped the creamy mess off his weapon, stomped back to the car and headed off in the direction of the Mercedes, although it was probably too late to have caught him.
The moral of the tale: Always remember to “jia da”, it’s $5 extra but when you’ve got the police on your tail you need all the extra ammo you can get.
This is a true story.
:bravo: Brilliant! You made milk come out my nose, and Im not even drinking milk! 