“I’ve met girls at cafes, waiting for buses, at the swimming pool, at the beach, on a train, bus, in an elevator , on a plane, waiting in line at immigration . There are literally tons of places that one can meet a prospective partner. I must have been “lucky”.”
Yes, yes indeed. And so have I. That’s exactly what I’m doing. And I imagine, you struck up a conversation with them? And, knowing that you have about a .001% chance of ever seeing this person again, UNLESS you ask for their number, and UNLESS she also finds you interesting and attractive, there is nothing “needy” about living in the moment and having no doubts about yourself to the point that you are capable of ACTING, right then and there, on your instincts that this person you just met is someone you would be interested in spending some time with and getting to know better at a later, better point and time. In the course of a week, how many of hundreds of people do you bump into? And I’m asking out about one of them. That’s being pretty damn picky if you ask me.
So I’ll repeat: I meet a girl, strike up a conversation, and if there is chemistry and she seems to be enjoying the conversation, isn’t making excuses to leave, is voluntarily asking me personal questions, etc. etc. (need I list the infinite ways in which a woman expresses interest?) then eventually I say something like “well, I’d like to see you again some time, what’s your schedule like, how about Wednesday, how can I reach you, whatever” and she offers her information. Generally, they are all quite happy to chat and talk and continue our conversation via line or etc., but it’s when we get back to the “date” that we agreed on, they disappear.
I’ll also repeat: I’m not doing anything differently than I would do it back in the States, and if I so chose, I could easily count on having several dates a month if I wanted to. Therefore, suggested problems, such as 1. you are needy and 2. the problem is you are talking to girls you meet or 3. the problem is that you are asking girls out. 4. whatever other obvious nonsense is being suggested. The idea Taiwanese girls ought to be walking up to me in the grocery store and asking me out is completely absurd. If that’s how it works for everyone else, all I can say is that that is absolutely not how it works for me.
Thus, also, my question, regarding cultural differences. Obviously, what is normal and works where I’m from, is suddenly not working here. What’s different? Did I really turn into some desperate, needy, slovenly wreck on the plane ride over? OR did I find myself in a culture I don’t understand? I’m going with option B.
I do suppose there is a lot of truth in the whole “get outside of the campus because it’s a small closed system and the relationship would be very visible.” However, the problem there is, I estimate about 2% of the women I’ve approached outside of campus were capable of holding a conversation in English. It’s about 30% at school. That’s really the reason at the end of the day. However, the 4 or 5 girls or so that I’ve met outside of school who could speak English, the result was the same, so I hesitate to blame it entirely on that.
So again, the question is, for those of you who have actual EXPERIENCE asking out and dating women in their 20’s in this country, what insights do you have into what’s normal, comfortable for the girls, etc, etc. that I should either be aware of or else include when chatting with one for the first time, or any culturally relevant information I should have, if I’d like to start getting different results?