What am I doing wrong here?

I moved here with my girlfriend from the States, we broke up a year or so ago, and I spent the last six months in the States, where I had no issues with dating. Thus, this is my first time as an available male in Taiwan.

Antarctic, I can’t imagine anyone pays attention to what you think. Let’s all hope not. Then again, there’s Trump. It’s a scary world.

Andrew, good advice, but I live in Hsinchu, unfortunately. What kind of “exciting” dates would you recommend in Hsinchu? And, as far as I can tell, all the local guys are inviting girls to go to the night market, or get coffee, or walk around SOGO on their dates, which are the most boring possible invitations I can imagine, yet still there they are at all those venues with their dates night after night.

The reading comprehension here seems to be rather low. I"ll say again: the women I am talking to speak English. That’s how I’m talking to them. So not speaking Chinese, while limiting my prospects obviously, is not the reason these particular prospects didn’t work out. And again, I am going to school, and at least 30% of the girls can speak English, and 100% of them are in their 20’s. Outside of school, of all the women I"ve approached, of any age, it’s unbelievably uncommon to meet one that can hold an English conversation. That’s the reason the demographic. It is incidental, not intentional, and there is nothing I can do about it. Though I’m not into women older than me.

Christ, so much nitpicking and nonsense, hardly a single relevant reply, to such a simple question. It’s partly my fault. Let’s try this:

“ALL OTHER THINGS BEING EQUAL- what changes should a Western guy make to his “approach” to Taiwanese women?”

CLUES: answers such as : “talk to older women” “you’re boring/ugly/old” , “don’t talk to anyone and wait for beautiful women to fall at your feet” or “me no understand it be very easy” are not valid answers to these questions. They are nonsense, plain and simple. If in doubt, copy and paste the above questions in front of your answer, and see if it forms a logical question and answer. If not, try again. If you are at all unsure, don’t try at all.

The recommendation to carry the initial conversation into a nearby venue and sit down is great advice, although that’s not a cultural thing, that’s just good sense anywhere. Unfortunately, most of the time I’m either just before a class, or just before going to work.

TEMPER your Expectations…

I think you are ignoring the fact that “culturally” most Taiwanese women in their 20s or 30s don’t want to date a white or brown dude. However, there are still lots and lots of women that do-- BUT online or in clubs. You are bound to find one “in the wild” in Hsinchu although I wouldn’t hold your breath for too long.

If you don’t like online dating as I suggested before and want to live in the moment I think there has been some good advice already written here. I think the key is to continue to conversation on the LINE app rather than quickly setup a date. don’t over-message them but try to have a fluid back & forth over some weeks. You need to learn how to play “the Long Con” (also the title of a great Lost TV show episode). And I mean “con” (ie confidence trick) in the most positive way possible. Establish some chemistry over the long term-- not 7 mins before your class. Because the same types of conversations and questions those chicks are asking you are the same that every girl, guy, “auntie”, Unlce, ect will ask as they are generally curious or just being polite.

You are a younger lad so you should know that people (younger people especially) have their iphone glued to their hands and they love to ‘message’ with dozens of people at the same time and essentially NOT living in the moment, and NOT looking up to where there are walking and giving half-baked “maybes” to invitations with even their closest friends. People are essentially waiting for something “better” to come along.

When you message a girl on LINE an invitation to coffee or drinks that they are telling their other girlfriends, showing your LINE photo and asking their opinion about what to do with this foreigner invite. Going back to the fact that culturally you are at a disadvantage this is the reason you are not getting responses. This is the same situation as some ABCs have living in areas of the USA that is not a big city like LA, SF or NYC. White chicks are not lining up to date American born chinese/taiwanese men.

So ask yourself—> what advice would you give to an Asian dude getting similar rejections in some random city in the USA? ABCs end up having to get setup by their parents or go online to search for the “pool” of women that actually would consider to date them. There are tons white women who have no problem dating Asian dudes, just like there are Taiwanese women who exclusively date White dudes-- it’s just the pool of women is much smaller to the general population. You have to go to the right pool of women and just because they speak english does not mean they are in that pool that will date you. (also remember that culturally-- the USA or Canada is much more open to inter-racial relationships than Taiwan)

But you seem to want to live in the moment and chat up chicks which is fantastic. I’m not being sarcastic. It’s great-- but just realize that in Taiwan your success rate will just be lower— “all things being equal”. It’s just a fact. I think by now we all realize you’ve got the dating skills everywhere but Taiwan. Even the small “tweaks” to your chatting/dating GAME everyone has written to you will not make you to be the “honey pot” you normally are in the USA. Temper your expectations and you’ll get yourself some dates soon enough. But I highly suggest to go on OKcupid if you are frustrated and don’t take anything here or non-responses from girls personally.

[quote=“strider”]Christ, so much nitpicking and nonsense, hardly a single relevant reply, to such a simple question. It’s partly my fault. Let’s try this:

“ALL OTHER THINGS BEING EQUAL- what changes should a Western guy make to his “approach” to Taiwanese women?”

CLUES: answers such as : “talk to older women” “you’re boring/ugly/old” , “don’t talk to anyone and wait for beautiful women to fall at your feet” or “me no understand it be very easy” are not valid answers to these questions. They are nonsense, plain and simple. If in doubt, copy and paste the above questions in front of your answer, and see if it forms a logical question and answer. If not, try again. If you are at all unsure, don’t try at all.

The recommendation to carry the initial conversation into a nearby venue and sit down is great advice, although that’s not a cultural thing, that’s just good sense anywhere. Unfortunately, most of the time I’m either just before a class, or just before going to work.[/quote]

Approaching girls you don’t know is the reason you are failing. The how of it makes no difference. You’re just a weirdo accosting some young lady in public.

Get a social life, and meets girls like a normal person.

[quote=“strider”]
Andrew, good advice, but I live in Hsinchu, unfortunately. What kind of “exciting” dates would you recommend in Hsinchu? And, as far as I can tell, all the local guys are inviting girls to go to the night market, or get coffee, or walk around SOGO on their dates, which are the most boring possible invitations I can imagine, yet still there they are at all those venues with their dates night after night.[/quote]

Andrew does have very good advice, but I have a friend that lives in Hsin Chu and tells me how rough social life is there. All I can really say is, good luck and don’t take the not-so-helpful comments too seriously.

[quote=“ranlee”][quote=“strider”]
Andrew, good advice, but I live in Hsinchu, unfortunately. What kind of “exciting” dates would you recommend in Hsinchu? And, as far as I can tell, all the local guys are inviting girls to go to the night market, or get coffee, or walk around SOGO on their dates, which are the most boring possible invitations I can imagine, yet still there they are at all those venues with their dates night after night.[/quote]

Andrew does have very good advice, but I have a friend that lives in Hsinchu and tells me how rough social life is there. All I can really say is, good luck and don’t take the not-so-helpful comments too seriously.[/quote]

Hsinchu gets a lot of bashing. Terrible and pricey food, nothing to do, total dead town as far as night life goes, blah blah ,etc. If by night life we are talking about clubbing and going to pubs, then sure, Hsinchu is pretty terrible, I’ll give you that one. However, if you already know some girls, and want to spend some time one on one, there’s plenty of places to go around Hsinchu, and the fact that everyone else don’t know them can turn into your advantage. As Andrew said, knowing where to go helps sell the date.

There are a lot of cafe’s and restaurants in Hsinchu not well known by non-locals, and they are pretty awesome. Take Im’mat Cafe on Sanming road for example, it’s amazing quality and price and not a lot of people. Most locals try to keep them that way. So keeping your eyes peels and willing to just try new places and socialize with locals and shop owners would help you discover many of such places which you then can use to sell your date.

Aside from food, it depends on what activities you and your date consider as fun. If you have a motorcycle or a car that gives you mobility outside of the city, there are a lot of outdoor places to go to around Hsinchu. The downside is most Taiwanese girls don’t like outdoor activities, but when you meet one that do, Hsinchu isn’t all that bad.

[quote=“ranlee”][quote=“strider”]
Andrew, good advice, but I live in Hsinchu, unfortunately. What kind of “exciting” dates would you recommend in Hsinchu? And, as far as I can tell, all the local guys are inviting girls to go to the night market, or get coffee, or walk around SOGO on their dates, which are the most boring possible invitations I can imagine, yet still there they are at all those venues with their dates night after night.[/quote]

Andrew does have very good advice, but I have a friend that lives in Hsinchu and tells me how rough social life is there. All I can really say is, good luck and don’t take the not-so-helpful comments too seriously.[/quote]

All this means is the standard is low for excitement. Listen, I was in a college town in the middle of no where Virginia 2 years ago. I found plenty of good date ideas besides house parties.

For example, I had a BMW 335i, I love driving. I was racing cars before I had a license, There was the shenandoah national park close to me. I would drive there on the loopy mountain trails that had good views. For most girls, they just saw it as a nice car, but I am passionate about cars so I would romantically explain how it feels to drive a good sports car. I would take girls out to the park, let them drive a little and have picnics and hikes.

Or a local Chinese restaurant that had a secret Chinese menu, I would tell them about that and take them there. And I familiarized myself with places around town. So I would do a dinner date where I would cook. Instead of just having them come over, I would take them to a local fish market that had fresh fish. And I new the owner and bring back what I need and cook. I would try to do things that they were involved in so its not just them coming and offering nothing. Have them have to invest in the date. Like bring a bottle of wine to the picnic. If they invest in the date, they will want it to go well.

I would drive to Baltimore or DC and go to baseball games.

So many things you can do if you get creative and get familiar with things and events around you. That also means spending time investing in time with yourself and your surrounding and people around you. I moved and lived in so many places, and I always find a way to socialize and get familiar with whats around me. I can walk around Taipei and easily run into someone I know. Be that guy.

Great advice there OP. Just get yourself a top of the line BMW and you’re set.

" what changes should a Western guy make to his “approach” to Taiwanese women"

This kind of sums up the issue of this thread for me (and many before it, no doubt, but I can’t be doing with trawling through old stuff).

What changes? None, really. You are yourself, here as anywhere else in the world that will be something that some people like and others don’t. If you try to make changes to get taiwanese girls to like you, sooner or later it’s going to become apparent that that’s not who you actually are. There’s no great magical secret about it.

Unless of course you just want to find randoms for sex, in which case, lie away.

Hsin Chu is a Hakka town. Hakka are serious people. They are more conservative then most. They date to marry over there.

Random hook ups over there would be harder then in Taipei. You are at the wrong school.

The Chinese cultural univ in yangmingshan has the highest number of pretty and open minded girls they say.

[quote=“best_intentions”]
You are a younger lad so you should know that people (younger people especially) have their iphone glued to their hands and they love to ‘message’ with dozens of people at the same time and essentially NOT living in the moment, and NOT looking up to where there are walking and giving half-baked “maybes” to invitations with even their closest friends. People are essentially waiting for something “better” to come along.[/quote]

Younger by your standards perhaps. Do you know his actual age?

I don’t know his age so just an assumption on my part based on being in school and and his writing. For me anyone under 30 is younger :slight_smile: But I totally get there are a lot people on here are under 25 so late 20s isn’t young at all.

OP, I’m no fanboy of Andrew and he’s not paying me to say this, but he’s dropping knowledge, write it down. You may not have a BMW, but like he said, get creative. Slap the blue/white BMW logo on your SYM scooter or Honda CR-V, it’ll be something funny to talk about if she notices it.

[quote=“tommy525”]
The Chinese cultural univ in Yangming Shan has the highest number of pretty and open minded girls they say.[/quote]

This just in, influx of foreign men, that are not students at the university, loitering at Chinese Cultural University in Yang Ming Shan. This reporter has the inside scoop. Stay tuned!

well he said he had a vasectomy in another post so i guess he is like 60 or something.

whoa…we might need him to upload a pic of his passport to give him a more accurate advice :wink:

It would be great if all this time he is talking to all girls in their 20s and he is 60 yo wondering “why so many rejections?” :sunglasses:

It’s not about the BMW lol. The point is it’s something i’m passionate about. I go on BMW meets and take it to the tracks sometime. The point is to have something you are passionate about to share. Make yourself a more interesting person. Learn everyday.

Also, i’m told by girls recently emojis are important, it’s also something I’m adding to my game i guess. Trial and error. Maybe add more fun emojis to your text? Although, I prefer having the balls to call if you can make it not awkward.

Let’s be honest, it’s all about the BMW. My interest and passion is my bike, I don’t see myself taking a girl up the mountain on it, she’ll have to settle for the scooter that’s 10 years old and bought at half the price of my bike hahaaaa.

OP, when you up your emoji game, you also gotta up your LINE stickers game. Back in the day when LINE started to get popular, we had little options for stickers, now you can have so many stickers that you don’t even remember you had them!

Go for the ones that have a sound clip AND are a gif, chicks dig that.

Let’s be honest, it’s all about the BMW. My interest and passion is my bike, I don’t see myself taking a girl up the mountain on it, she’ll have to settle for the scooter that’s 10 years old and bought at half the price of my bike hahaaaa.
[/quote]

Or find a girl who has a bike more expensive than yours… but admittedly, the chance of running into an available road bike girl is way smaller than finding a girl digging luxury sports cars.

[quote=“hansioux”]
Or find a girl who has a bike more expensive than yours… but admittedly, the chance of running into an available road bike girl is way smaller than finding a girl digging luxury sports cars.[/quote]

Finding a girl that is that into road bikes and would swoon over a bike, is probably not a girl I would date haha

I’ll stick with the BMW :laughing:

[quote=“ranlee”]
I’ll stick with the BMW :laughing:[/quote]

honestly, who wouldn’t…

Whoa this is funny but also true. This reminds me of a “Man Seeking Woman” episode where he is trying to figure out what to text to a girl he met on a train the day before and one of the guys says his “research” shows girls are becoming much more positive to “punctuation” and recommends lots of !!!. The full scene is pretty funny but this is a shorter clip.