With many of us living in crosscultural relationships i’d be interested in hearing about the areas of contention…for wifey and i the biggest bone of contention is definitely the AC (i like it to be cold!)
Mayor Ma. I think he’s a class act, she thinks he’s the devil incarnate.
for me the biggest issue is the job - we work together and deal with some very difficult people everyday, (I hope to heaven your job is easier than mine!) and that means that I often take those stresses home with us at the end of the day. My wife is much more placid and seems less ruffled by the whole thing which is a point of friction inevitably. But I suspect that this is hardly cross cultural . On that front, I would say that my biggest moans to date and over the years have been:
early years: too possessive / clingy /tantrumy (like so many young girls learn to be from KTV vids) and never making a decision, always “suibien ni”
later years: different opinions about how to raise kids and
never seeing eye to eye with her family(this was a difficult one - who wants to force choices on a wife like it is me or your family but sometimes…)
those are what spring to mind.
(1) Family. She’s lived with hers since forever, and obeys her parents. Perhaps after we’re married, she’ll obey me instead! Meanwhile I come from a culture which values independence, and a family which would rather not live with each other!
Add to this all the weird quirks that we have to live with more often thanks to all this togetherness. (My culture encourages us to avoid farting at the table, except perhaps during the Super Bowl.)
(2) Long-term planning, especially aspects which bring out disagreements over the level of our long-term attachment to, and confidence in, Taiwan. For example, I insist on keeping the bulk of my savings in other currencies, in other countries. She’s offended by the implications of that.
And other stuff which is the same as couples argue about everywhere.
How a hangover does actually excuse me from: a) dropping in on her folks and brothers to see the baby, eat and gawk at that wanker Jacky Wu - all the while refusing offers of Kaoliang; b) accepting sudden translation projects on the intricasies of afortementioned brothers printing business; and c) basically anthing that will perpetuate my pain - usually any all Chinese affair with blinding fluoros burning into the soul.
To be fair she’s never actually had a hangover…perhaps if I remedied that…
Current bone of contention is why I should use the zebra crossings when I know they are fakes (since noone will stop while I’m trying to use them). When a pedestrian I ignore them and when driving I respect them, she hates me ‘jaywalking’… but approves of the latter. I can’t see the point in walking half a k down the street to cross on a zebra that doesn’t work. Small matter, sounds like I have it pretty easy really.
She doesn’t like it much when I go get wasted with her dad, but mostly because she thinks I’m leading him astray :shock:
My wife thinks the AC makes you get old and causes wrinkles (in the skin). She likes a hard board to sleep on and I like a super soft mattress.
But for arguments, she mostly gets pissed if I leer too long lustfully at lovely lasses.
But for arguments, she mostly gets pissed if I leer too long lustfully at lovely lasses.[/quote]
Mine points them out to me! “Ohmygodlookatatthem–they’re huge!”
But then again she makes me watch Super Sunday, so it’s not all roses.
Dang, it’s the opposite problem chez Maoman. Maybe we should trade? :mrgreen:
The volume on the telly. I like to be actually able to hear what people are saying.
The resting position of the on-chain plug in the bathroom sink. Hung over the taps, or over the side of the bowl.
The correct operation of the electric immersion heater and the precise time it needs to be on to provide enough water for a proper bath.
Whether there is anything wrong with lying on the sofa rather than sitting on it.
The necessity to always hold a plate under potentially crumbly items of food as if 5 years of age.
Whether or not shopping is best done on a Saturday afternoon.
Whether an Omega or Cartier wristwatch is a more desirable present and whether the topic is worth discussing at all given the retail prices of the respective models in question.
Whether or not I do fancy every single Chinese girl under the sun without exception.
the list is short, life is peaceful and sweet
currently high on it is the plague of mosquitos infesting my house, it has not been directly said but the implication is clear–i am to blame.
my pet turtle–which she bought mind you–has led to some real benders.
playing the ponies was seriously frowned upon for a while, luckily my two-year run of positive roi has helped to quash those arguments, the fact that her sister practically lives at the “stock market” didn’t hurt either
why we aren’t cancelling the trip to thailand took long hours of patient explaining, don’t know if i would characterize it as arguing but it did lead to some tense moments
Anyone here have this problem?
Our biggest argument is usually over how long she gets to visit her parents in the summer. She usually goes back to her home country every year or 2, and each time she tries to squeeze in another week. It makes sense, I suppose, since the flight for her and our 2 kids usually adds up to USD 2000+, but I do start to miss the kids after a month or so.
Money… he thinks I spend too much of it (no way! Sharky knows!)
Organization skills–his natural ability vs. my lack of them. He doesn’t get that he is the exception and I’m more normal than he is.
Strictness regarding homework - even though I must admit that giving homework to a 5 year old amounts to torture in my view.
Different birth practices - while she did that twice back home in my country the natural way, she claimed that giving birth the natural way (as opposed to a c-section) makes women dumb… My answer was that she proved her own point saying such rubbish.
Keeping doors and windows closed - why on earth open all windows when it’s 10 degrees outside.
Whether or not to commit to this place long term is also an old favorite.
Nothing major though. The inlaws (outlaws) tend to leave us alone and we understand each others viewpoints most of the time.
Her cooking skills
Other birds (I can’t help it - they all like me)
I love the style of eating Asian food (all dig in and the devil take the hind most!) but when ‘her indoors’ puts food on my plate, usually stuff she doesn’t want to eat, it really gets my goat and has ruined many a meal!
she: loves the West
moi: said goodbye to all that
she: loves pizza
moi: said goodbye to all that
she: loves Japan
moi: hate Japan
6 months ago i won NT$10,000 on the invoice lottery. I gave the invoice to Wifey. Yesterday she told me that she went to get it cashed but was one day too late. Nothing! Arguement - probably not but the incident will be kept in my back pocket for frequent future use!
We don’t argue about it, but I nag about her squeezing the toothpast tube from the middle… then I have to go and fix the tube by squeezing all the paste from the bottom of the tube up to the top, where it will be ready for proper squeezing onto my toothbrush.
I mean really, why can’t she just do things properly, like I do?