What Do You Call Your In-Laws?

What Do You Call Your In-Laws?

  • Mom, Dad
  • First name basis
  • Mr and Mrs XXX
  • Aunt, Uncle
  • Mom #2, Dad #2
  • Ma, Ba

0 voters

So what do you call your in-laws? I’m curious how many people now still call their in-laws mom and dad.

I call them the Out-laws.
Outz fer short.
As they certainly ain’t in. :sunglasses:

Ma and Ba

Ma. She cried when I told her she was my mother now (my mother passed away years ago).

Mom gets called Ma and dad gets called by his English name since that’s what he seems to prefer.

Mama and baba.

It felt VERY strange at first, but it was the only option I was given. I don’t even call my real father “Dad”. They have three daughters, and are very happy that I married their daughter. Instead of losing their daughter to another family, as is the Chinese custom, they always tell me they have gained a son. They are also happy that I chose to give my son the same Chinese surname as them, so the family name will survive and all. Grandpa tells me he’s leaving all his money to my boy!

Ma, Ba, as instructed by my wife.

Sometimes in the past I have screwed up and inadvertently called them amah or agong, or just said neehao, but my wife corrected me every time and made sure upon arrival at their house or upon seeing them in the morning I greet them with “Ma” and “Ba,” so I do.

I call my own parents mom and dad, but it seemed odd at first doing so for hers. No matter, I realize that’s how they do it here.

My inlaws incidentally speak no English and they barely understand my very low level Chinese (besides, they prefer Taiwanese), so we don’t communicate much with words. But I always say hello and thanks and make appreciative gestures and noises, so they know I’m trying to be polite and grateful to them and they fully accept me in the family (we’ve been married a few years, have a daughter they love to have visit, and I’ve spent many nights in the inlaws’ house).

But it still feels a little odd being so close to them and using such a close name for them, but barely communicating at all with them. Oh well, that’s just how it is. We do the best we can.

I voted for “Mum and Dad” but I thought it meant in Chinese. So it should be “ma” and “ba”. Which I have to say is a bit odd, I mean because they’re not. And I sound like a sheep.

That’s how I feel.

I just call her mum, “Ma.” Nobody seems to bother with the old man, and I don’t really have any contact with him.

Still getting used to the idea, but it’s also the way we do things in South Africa, so it’s not all that strange to me. Just needs getting used to calling someone “Ma” which is a relatively intimate form of mom in South Africa…

First names.

Which I would guess is the most common way in most Western countries, no? Which I also think is the most normal way. Mom and Dad just feels forced and unnatural. Especially if you’re “instructed to do it” as someone said.
I’m as close to my ex-mother-in-law as I think anyone can possibly be, and I would describe her as the closes family I have after my Mom, but it’d still be weird to call her that.

914, what will you do? Your future in-laws are not Chinese, so I don’t think Ma and Ba will sit well with them (but it would be priceless to see their faces if you did :wink: )

Side note:
Unlike with English, with most other European languages there’s another issue that’s perhaps even more complicated than this one: do you address them with the formal you or with the informal you. (Sie/Du, Vous/tu, Usted/tu, U/jij, Vi/ti, etc. etc.)

Example: I was calling my mother-in-law by her first name from the start, but with a formal you. It was incredibly difficult to cross over to the informal you and it even took a very long talk between the two of us.
Usually, when that happens (in those cultures that have it) it’s kind of a bonding experience. You almost always become closer as a result of it.

I call my wife’s parents “Ba” and “Ma” and my wife calls my parents “Mom” and “Dad”. All of my relatives call the inlaws “Mom” and “Dad” as well. It doesn’t feel forced at all, but I come from a pretty tightly-knit family. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. :idunno:

First name basis. Their choice, not mine.

[quote=“tash”]First names.

Which I would guess is the most common way in most Western countries, no? [/quote]

Good point. Ideally, perhaps the poll should differentiate between Taiwanese inlaws and western inlaws.

My Taiwanese wife calls my Western parents by their first names (as I instructed her to do) and that seems perfectly natural, close and friendly when I hear her say it and I believe she and they also feel so.

I call me MIL - Ma…and the FIL, I call him Sir. I tried calling him ‘The General’, but he told me he didn’t like any of the other Generals he knew.
He’s actually a pretty nice guy, so its usually just Sir when I speak to him. At his age, and given his history, I have no problem being respectful to him.

I call the old handbrake’s mother “auntie” Bo Mu, and she seems comfortable with that.

This has been a source of some anguish for me.

My wife suggested I should address them as “Ba” and “Ma”, according to local custom. But I just cannot form those words with my tongue when addressing anyone other than my own parents (who are no longer alive). The wife understands that and doesn’t mind, and the in-laws are understanding enough about foreigners thinking and doing things differently. As I cannot think of any suitable alternative to calling them “Ba” and “Ma”, I just make do with a beaming smile and a nod or a “Hi” or “Wan an” or whatever fits the occasion when we meet.

I’d love to be able to call them “Ba” and “Ma”, since they’re very nice and as warmly welcoming to me as to any of their other sons-in-law. Perhaps, with time, that mental block will disappear, and those words will come naturally and spontaneously, as I’d wish.

I also call mine Ma and Ba but almost need to choke it out when I do. Like many posters said it’s almost a mental block in calling someone other than my mom “ma”.

My husband calls my mother mom and it always kind of freaks me out but can’t really change it now. We both refer to my step-father by his first name.

What is the custom in west? Do you call your in-laws by their first names usually?

In South Africa, people are very close knit family wise and in some respects more conservative, so we tend to call in-laws mom and dad. Some English speaking families might not do that. My one friend doesn’t even call his own parents that, but uses their first names, which I always felt uncomfortable with when at his house.
Black people and Afrikaners are more conservative than the English folks and even call older people (family or not, even older strangers) ‘Oom’ (uncle) and ‘Tanie’ (Auntie). Also, the Afrikaans for mom and dad are, ma and pa. So calling Taiwanese inlaws ma and ba isn’t such a big step as it might be for North Americans or Europeans, and I assume Australians and New Zealanders, also.

I’m not sure if this is going to be off-topic, as we’re not married. I’m also struggling with what to call the parents when we meet. It’s so funny these days that nobody says “Oh, just call me blablabla.”
People mostly just say…this is my aunt/father/mother, etc. And then you get a “nice to meet you” and nothing else.

I guess the best is to start formal, e.g. Mr. Whatever, and then it’s up to them to tell you how you should address them. I’m not comfortable calling anybody who is not related to me ma or ba or aunt or uncle or mom or dad.

I call my domestic partner’s mother bomu, as instructed. She calls my parents B and Jack, as I do.