What does an umbrella tell you about the owner?

Male, 65
Umbrella, beaten up

jealous wife, tired of his philandering nature.

Umbrella secured to umbrella rack with built-in combination lock strap.

Likely time traveler.

What if you use umbrellas made by this company?

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Do go on. Theyā€™re based in Malta, obviously.

Working for some guy named John?

Male 30 -present.
Big handle-small umbrella what ever they call the part that is over your head. Cheap country bastard stuck in the city in an unexpected rain storm. Itā€™s the cheapest umbrella he can get. At least heā€™s not walking down the street using a garbage bag raincoat. After all he spends most of his time riding his motorscooter place to place. The raincoat would get more use than the umbrella. Not his fault he took a bus or car today.

The answer to all the aboveā€¦

They donā€™t like getting wet or wearing wet, sticky raincoats.

And they donā€™t ride scooters.

Preeeetty sure they donā€™t make umbrellasā€¦

The umbrella is already part of you.

They do, they just make this kind of umbrella

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