I had to call the MIL and apologise/explain that I wasn’t angry…
Now I feel angry… :fume:
And tomorrow another group of MIL’s family are coming to see the youngster. I can’t help feeling beseiged. Ah well, I’ll just paint a smile on my gob and iron the scowl off my forehead… 
[quote=“Jaboney”]I’ve got you all beat.
Video.
I asked.
She told me to go away.
She pushed me away, told me I was so boring.
Asked again.
She relented.
Said, “Ok.” 
ok, not really po’ed, but the reaction was GREAT.[/quote]
yeah… 
Think I fixed that. Had to keep it private until I had a chance to call Grandma and give her the news. 
Congratulations, J!
Nice, Jaboney! You made the lass blush to the roots of her hair, but she evidently couldn’t have been happier. Hearty congratulations!
No wonder she blushed. A blowjob? Right there in the street in broad daylight? Jeez, I’D have blushed too.
I invented the automative finger - it doesn’t even need to be pulled. This really pissed off my SO and still does every time I hold out my finger and demonstrate its effectiveness.
[quote=“Alfalfa”]I invented the automative finger - it doesn’t even need to be pulled. This really pissed off my SO and still does every time I hold out my finger and demonstrate its effectiveness.[/quote] 
That is a most functional weapon or war, er,… I mean, blessed matrimonial bliss.
Also, equally effective is constantly leaving a few items just out of reach, not enough to cause a scandal, but enough to suspect some vile intention to make one’s spouse put things a little higher than than the current mode, which somehow manages to always have heavy, sharp items connecting violently with one’s skull at the most inopportune moments. 
A drunken bicycle accident while the lil’ lurvely was away is still costing me dearly. Unfortunately I stumbled home and fell into bed - across ways - with a bleeding knee which has stained through the bedding in what even I have to admit looks like the tell-tale splodge of a menstrual mishap. Right spot in the bed, right volume, etc. The local Thai community have been placed on high snoop alert and even the Indonesian woman that comes and cleans up once a week is on the hotline and asking strange questions.
HG
[quote=“Huang Guang Chen”]A drunken bicycle accident while the lil’ lurvely was away is still costing me dearly. Unfortunately I stumbled home and fell into bed - across ways - with a bleeding knee which has stained through the bedding in what even I have to admit looks like the tell-tale splodge of a menstrual mishap. Right spot in the bed, right volume, etc. The local Thai community have been placed on high snoop alert and even the Indonesian woman that comes and cleans up once a week is on the hotline and asking strange questions.
HG[/quote]
Haw Haw Haw…the net descends on poor HG! Better maintain a high level of pocket and laundry hygene as well!
[quote=“Huang Guang Chen”]A drunken bicycle accident while the lil’ lurvely was away is still costing me dearly. Unfortunately I stumbled home and fell into bed - across ways - with a bleeding knee which has stained through the bedding in what even I have to admit looks like the tell-tale splodge of a menstrual mishap. Right spot in the bed, right volume, etc. The local Thai community have been placed on high snoop alert and even the Indonesian woman that comes and cleans up once a week is on the hotline and asking strange questions.
HG[/quote]
Odd, I would have thought showing her your knee would have stopped that line of questioning. Of course it wouldn’t necessarily make peace. My wife would never let me hear the end of it if she learned I got in a drunken bicycling accident – “you could have been killed, you have a family to support, we depend on you, I was worried sick about you, you could have been killed, how could you do that, you don’t even wear a helmet, you could have been killed, from now on you’re wearing a helmet, etc.”
I have a proven track record of stupidity and deep intolerance at having my lapses replayed .
However, she didn’t come back until after the knee had healed. Not a sign of the source when she spied the spot. Of course it probably didn’t help my cause when she asked “who’s been menstruating in my bed?” and I replied, “menstruating? that’s virgin blood. And quite the excitable little strumpet she was too.”
HG
I’m writing that one down. We get into crap for going to the pub anyway, may as well turn the cell phone off and delay the thunderstorm on returing home… :bravo:[/quote]
Are you crazy? I’d imagine with most Taiwanese women that they would think you’re turning off your phone in order to cheat on them. Best just to switch your phone to vibrate and pretend to not notice it. Or get a new girlfriend who doesn’t call you every five minutes.