I looked through all the postings here to find anything that addressed this question but found nothing.
I’ve read theat Taiwanese like to go out IN GROUPS, and that it’s rare to have a one-on-one date until you both know each other very well.
I’ve been told that that’s more true for very young adults – like teens or college age.
But the last couple of girls I asked out (late 20s) immediately asked, “Oh, can I bring a friend?” What is up with that?
I’d be very interested to hear other people’s experience with this.
I’m not, by the way, talking about meeting girls at Carnegie’s for quick sex; I’m talking about asking out a girl whom you’d like to get to know; one for whom there may be the potential for a relationship.
When I was in high school it was quite common. I remember it being quite fun getting to hang out with two attractive ladies vs. just the one. Took some of the pressure off as well.
The first few times I went out with my now wife it was in a group - of course eventually we preferred to be alone.
I know many ladies who always take a friend along on the first meet/date. It seems like a good idea and perhaps a safe one.
Girls are like that here. Don’t trust you yet. And they bring friends so it’s not so awkward. Once you go out a couple of times together, then it should be ok to go out one on one. Have a little patience.
a girl bring another girl is fine, a girl birng another guy is bad idea… It is a cultural difference thing. Most people think in Taiwan think it’s easier to interact in groups till you get to know someone well. If you don’t know someone well, the first date can get a bit awkward (of course, in the States, it just means, time to move on to the next one), but it doesn’t work like this here. You get to know people well before you go on a one on one date with them, especially for the younger ones. The older ones will more likely to go one on one with you right away, they feel more confident about themselves, and take relationship in a different way anyway.
First, thank you, clee19821013, for the link to a similar thread. I’ve just read all the postings on it. Interesting.
kellohitty said:
Yeah, it’s just another cultural thing to adapt to… And in my case, my friend brought TWO of her female acquaintances along. It seemed a bit much to me.
clee… also said:
To which I reply, Are you sure? These are women in their late 20s. And one of them I already know pretty well. Is asking others along ever a subtle message that they don’t want to even consider dating you?
And finally, kelake said:
Sorry to seem so impatient… It’s just that TWELVE AND A HALF YEARS is a long time to go without a girlfriend.
[quote=“Peter-Paul”]First, thank you, clee19821013, for the link to a similar thread. I’ve just read all the postings on it. Interesting.
kellohitty said:
Yeah, it’s just another cultural thing to adapt to… And in my case, my friend brought TWO of her female acquaintances along. It seemed a bit much to me.
clee… also said:
To which I reply, Are you sure? These are women in their late 20s. And one of them I already know pretty well. Is asking others along ever a subtle message that they don’t want to even consider dating you?
And finally, kelake said:
Sorry to seem so impatient… It’s just that TWELVE AND A HALF YEARS is a long time to go without a girlfriend.
[/quote]
two, that seems odd too, how many times have you tried so far (asking her out, in an a bit more than friend sense)? As to whether it’s a subtle message or not, well I don’t know. I usually don’t bother to guess, I make my case clear, and if she is not interested, then I move on. By the way, 12.5 years… dude, got to really get your game on now…
Good luck man, that’s all I can say
P.S. she is in her late 20s… hum, is she mentally in her late 20s, just asking
When I first got here, I met a guy who’d been here for quite some time but was planning on leaving. He said “I’ve got a week to tell you everything I think about Taiwan.” What newb could resist anything that wonderfully arrogant and potentially informative? We went for lunch every day and he unloaded some classic stuff on me - some of it was whack, some pretty interesting.
To wit, he had a booster rocket theory. He said just as the space shuttle needs a little extra lift to get it going, the same thing goes for dating here (I believe the Chinese phrase for this chaperone sort of thing is “be a light bulb”). A booster rocket can have any number of uses, but the main one is to provide an “objective” account of you after the date is over (after all, your charm and wiles might make make her fall for you prematurely, and who wouldn’t love a “So? What did you think of him?” session after the fact?). My friend said the most important thing to remember on a date is that you have to impress the booster rocket most - once you’ve succeeded at that, it will fall off and return to earth so you can commence deep space explorations.
He also added that some guys were good enough to get the date AND the booster rocket…
That should happen only a few times, beyond that you guys should start going out one on one, otherwise you should just go ask straight (but be subtle about it).
If the girl wasn’t interested in you, she would just make up some excuse not to go. She wouldn’t even bother with asking a friend to go with her.
At least, she’s somewhat interested, right?
I think if a girl is really interested in you, she will want you all to herself even on the first date. Friends can steal potential boyfriends and be a distraction, so I see little or no logic in the “bring a friend along” thing. Sorry.
I realise this is Asia and they do things differently, but not necessarily. Of all the first dates I’ve had in Asia (Korea and Taiwan), none of them had a friend along. And there were several first dates. That includes my current girlfriend who was very shy at first.
I might be old school here, but I think if she wantsto bring a friend, it’s a sympathy date or just a night out with her friend and you happen to be there for entertainment. I also think trying to please two girls is just not worth it when you’re only really interested in the one to begin with. If I want to go on a date, I want the luxury of talking to only one girl and trying to impress her, and seeing her response without having the friend there to prevent her from being candid.
OTOH, if in fact you are hell-bent on the girl, simply ask along a buddy to keep her friend occupied. No harm in that, right?
I think girl wants friend to pick up on any “psycho” cues girl can’t pick up on. So after your threesome, girl and friend can discuss what happend on the date and friend can give girl advice. The third person usually sees thing the other two don’t. So bring along a friend yourself so he can pick up on “psycho” cues you can’t pick up on.
Good idea 914. You are cordially invited to join in on Erhu’s next date. And all the ones after that too. I need help weeding out psychos. Plus if they start to get fresh…then…BAM!
:thanks:
I understand all the above reasoning, and I am Taiwanese who was born in Taiwan, my point being this should not last too long, first few dates, all right, but pass that you guys should go out one on one. Don’t be pushy, but sooner or later you guys should go on a real date.
Good idea 914. You are cordially invited to join in on Erhu’s next date. And all the ones after that too. I need help weeding out psychos. Plus if they start to get fresh…then…BAM!
:thanks:[/quote]
lol, you’re not asian girls… sorry but people are going to feel weird if american girls start bringing pals to date
We went for lunch every day and he unloaded some classic stuff on me - some of it was whack, some pretty interesting.
