If I had a personal ad I’m not sure exactly what all I would put in, but I would definitely mention that time I ate a rhino.
Did you get the horn?
Scandanavian ex-Jesuit priest with NSOH seeks Greco-Roman wrestler type with Pakistani “connections” for no reason at all.
My wife asked me the same question.
Your wolf like eyes, a greenish brown, fix me through the long tufts of grass. You raise your tail, I sniff your arse, you bound high, leaping and landing, leaping and landing, I bark, just once, then we run in a circle, you first, I follow, you first, I follow. Now it’s my turn.
Do you look like a lesbian? Then you’re probably my type. Call me!
There is a book published about funny personal ads.
Here is an example:
Angry, simple-minded, balding, partially blind ex-circus flipper boy with a passion for covering lovers in sour cream and gravy seeks exotic, heavily tattooed piercing fanatic, preferably hairy, either sex, for whippings, bizarre sex and fashion consulting. No freaks.
There are more extracts here
This works for me!!
Intelligent woman with great leg
al mind for conversation, outing
s and a love of extreme intense anal
ysis. You should live close to Es-
sex. I shall give you heaps of fuc
-hsias, lillies and treat you like a Queen. I will be your
king and will fill your warm tender
heart with joy and laughter.Send me your post
box. Alternately, if you want more discus-
sion. You can call me to chat about more exci-
ting stuff, I 'm all ears. Looking forward to hearing from you!
Please read lines 1, 3 5 7 9 11 only!
This one is cool!
Remember that summer you spent with your parents in Hawaii and how mad you were that they made you go? And how you were hopelessly bored until you saw the most gorgeous man you’d ever encountered strolling down the beach looking at you, skillfully removing your skimpy bikini with his piercing eyes? And how you spent the last month imagining him taking you in every possible way, masturbating feverishly day and night, wishing he would reappear, but he never did because you were 15 and he would have gone to jail? That was me, and you just turned 18.
Come on! Nobody is baring their souls, here… Not just clever ones from books; yours!
Mines original. Where’s yours?
Mine was original too. And actually placed.
Here I made one for you:
Horses hate me, cows can’t digest me, I send their minds spinning on a summer breeze; But you who see my reflection beneath your chin, own me, butter me, undress me, petal by petal. She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not, she loves me…
Only you know when to stop.
I think Buttercup’s manhunting. Is there a ‘prize’ for the best ad, young lady? Can we win a date with the little yellow flower of Taipei?
I notice that Gus made a thingy to display the haikus contributed by various people. Perhaps there should be a similar one for cool personals ads?
Aiyo. You think too much/little. I’m certainly not looking to be pollinated by any of you lot, lovely though many of you are.
Actually, I was hoping more women would post. Personals are fairly redundant on a site like this where we can read eachothers’ words whenever we want to anyway.
No way, DB. That’s gross!
Fox, I don’t like having my petals ripped off. Liked the bit about being noxious to farmyard animals. (Especially Champion the wonder horse)
I was baring my soul on the second one