Earlier this morning I talked to my sister, who drove my mother over to see him late last night. He’s on a breathing machine, so he’s on borrowed time already. When they entered his room, he made a hand signal they didn’t understand (he linked his index fingers and then broke the link, which if this was a form of his farm speak, used when machine noise is so high that it drowns out voices, means ‘kill the power’). When my mother lifted his oxygen mask, he was able to whisper ‘I give up’. He doesn’t do drama, so this is not good. X-rays show two white lungs. His lung function just isn’t there. He was catheterized early this morning. Doctor and nurses say his prognosis is very poor. He’s a fighter, but I think the little bugs are finally going to post their one and only win over my dad. Probably just a matter of time now.
I guess I needed to hear something like my sis’s story before it clicked. I called my supervisor, but no answer. I left two voicemails explaining the situation, one on his Blackberry and one on his desk, but I really need to communicate this personally. It’s odd, but explainable, that he didn’t pick up on his BB. I have a 7:55am flight tomorrow morning (refundable), so unfortunately it looks like I’ll be trying to get ahold of him as I sit at the gate waiting to board. The good news is that I should be able to hold my dad’s hand by mid-afternoon. He must be exhausted.
Thanks for the advice, everyone. You have all been most helpful, and I am very grateful. All of you.
Edit: Just remembered that my supervisor keeps his BB ringer off, but emails buzz in his pocket. Shot him an email, and in reply got “Sorry to hear about your father. Let me know if I can do anything. I will see you when you get back.” So I’ll sleep tonight.