What to do if spouse is missing for years?


Finally got a hold of laf. They said they will appoint me an English speaking lawyer tomorrow.


I’ve removed the text in question.

It reminds me of an old legend from long ago in a galaxy far, far away…

The story has multiple endings. My favorite is the one where the noble counselors of justice help the prince escape the other family’s wrath and move on with his life. :slight_smile:


They should make a movie out of that. Out of curiosity what were the other endings?


I’ve been appointed a lawyer. Let’s hope things start moving now.


They emailed me the name of the lawyer, address and phone number but forgot to give me the extension number. I tried calling and got a machine asking for the extension number. I also tried calling laf but the person who has been handling my case has been at a meeting. Does anyone know the next steps with laf? They said they would forward my case and evidence to the lawyer. Am I expected to contact the lawyer on my own or should I wait for the lawyer to contact me? I hate to keep bothering them but I just wish I knew what was going on and if I am supposed to be doing something right now.


imo, the best thing is you would call the person again and ask whatever you are not sure on the procedure. Maybe tomorrow, because their service hour is till 5pm.

Or, send an email, if you have their address.


They just sent me my new lawyers email address and I emailed her. Can’t wait to get out of this mess.


If they did, I’d say it sure was a lot of drama over such a pointless conflict.


If they do make it a movie, hopefully it would be a short one.
Still trying to get a hold of my lawyer. Laf was unaware of any extension number and I haven’t received a reply to my email yet. Hopefully I can get in touch with her today.


Finally talked to my attorney! I’ll have to keep some things private but I can tell you things are moving.


if you haven’t done so, ask for specific timeline of when things likely will occur, like (only for example purposes) case filing with court or government bureau, case to be officially heard, case decided, etc.


She says we need to have a meeting on Wednesday to discuss the case. I will be sure to ask her that when I talk to her. Thanks.


Just wish there was something I could do in the meantime to speed things up. Can’t help but feel anxious to get this over with.


Slow & steady wins the race. :turtle:


I know you’re right but it just sucks because I’m pretty sure that is exactly what my wife’s family wants. Should I ask my lawyer to apply to the court in the meantime? How long does it typically take in between applying to the court and the actual hearing?


If you have too much time to kill till the coming meeting with your lawyer, I would recommend to list up all of unanswered questions in this thread and any new questions on a paper, and sort them with some categories. It would help to use the time at the meeting efficiently.


Sorry, I know I come off as overly anxious. I appreciate your(as well as everyone else) time and advice. Really regret letting it go on for as long as it did. 4 years is a long time to wait for someone and during that time, I’m not allowed to move on. They have to be aware of what they are doing to me and I suspect it’s intentional based off of their messages. I’ve never been to court in my whole life. Have a clean criminal record. So going to court, especially in a foreign country, is very intimidating not to mention when the people I’m going against are locals on their own turf and I’m a minority. Doesn’t help with them daring me and asking me: what am I afraid of. I guess that is why I held out so long with the hope that I could negotiate with them for a peaceful resolution. I really can’t wait for this nightmare to be over and thanks once again to everyone here. I will continue to post on here with any updates I can give (without compromising my case).


One thing to consider in all of this is, what do the wife and her family want to happen? Why are they doing what they’re doing?


That is what I have been wondering these past 4 years. From their emails, we can see they are painting me as the bad foreigner who took their daughter, held her at gunpoint to sign marriage papers, didn’t take care of her or respect her, and kicked her out when she was “sick” 4 years ago, cane and all. Who should only be punished and not allowed to see their daughter until he has atoned for his sins and shouldn’t be allowed to leave the marriage either. :roll:

Obviously none of these statements are true whatsoever so I guess I don’t have too much to worry about in court but who knows what they have up their sleeve. There’s a lot of anger and blaming going on in their emails. So I’ve come to the conclusion that it is most likely one of the following:

1)They have no clue where she is or she isn’t communicating with them. She spent our whole marriage hiding from her family so it’s not unlikely.

2)This is some sick kind of revenge/punishment. Preventing me to remarry and ever have a normal life. The longer it drags out, the better for them. They constantly word their emails putting the fault back on me which I suspect is an attempt to prevent me from being able to divorce. I’m sure a lawyer is guiding them in doing this.

3)Either my wife or them are mentally unstable. It’s common sense that when two parties don’t have any desire to go back to the marriage, it’s only fair to offer divorce. Hiding and leaving someone locked in the marriage out of spite just doesn’t seem legal to me nor does it make any sense. There should be laws protecting people from this.

If any of you guys have any other guesses, please share by either pm or on here. None of us really knows what is going on but the more possibilities I consider, the more prepared I can be of the unexpected.


Going back through the thread to assemble some questions for the lawyer. Did anyone find this?