What to do if spouse is missing for years?


why would that put you at fault? she is the one who abandoned you for years and years.


Luckily I’m past this part. I found a lawyer who offered a free consultation and I’ve already met with him/presented my case. He completely understands but explained to me very clearly that, especially with older dinosaur judges, will view marriage as something that should be kept no matter what unless it falls under the 10 points. He said it’s really luck of the draw and judges are appointed at random. He also explained that the older judges will focus on who is at fault and her reason for leaving more than what occurred after.

See my remark above. I know, it’s absolutely insane and we are in complete agreement.

No talk of money whatsoever. I even asked them if they would be willing to come to a financial agreement and they wrote back making me the villian again, saying I only care about money and not their daughter…they are really trying.

That’s exactly my point. It’s my wife and her family who is unreasonable and won’t even meet to talk. Unfortunately, older judges are hard to persuade according to my lawyer. Once again, I suspect he is saying all this to make me believe the case will take longer -giving him more pay. I personally don’t see why this isn’t a clean cut case. If anyone could give me some insight on whether or not my lawyer is being upfront and honest with me, I’d greatly appreciate it.
As an APRC holding foreigner, do I have the right to request my own household registration copy and marriage certificate without a court order? Does anyone have experience dealing with old judges? Is it as bad as my lawyer says?


forgot to answer his one question of:

every year, have you filed taxes jointly like married couples have to? or, how have you filed?


You’re right, I forgot about this. I have no idea to be honest. Not even sure we ever did file. I left that in charge of my wife but it’s possible she put me down as unemployed or something to avoid it. I’ve been a freelancer since day one. One advantage of coming here on a marriage visa and switching to an APRC.


freelancer at what?
if they (who hired you) took your ARC/APRC #, you’re on the hook to pay taxes.
So, she either paid your taxes, or you’re gonna come upon a new surprise if no taxes have been paid for 8 or whatever years.


No one ever took my arc/aprc number. I mostly tutor privately and take translation projects online.


Just putting this back in the front. Can really use an answer to this. Thanks to everyone who has contributed so far.


Yes. Just walk into the household registration office with your ID and ask for it. I have done it before. No reason for them not to give it to you.

I really have a hard time understanding why people go to online forms to ask these questions only to get vague answers and second hand opinions etc, when they could just go straight to the source.


You also have a right to the tax records. Just go to the tax office (with your ID) and tell them you want to make sure they’ve been paid. They’re very understanding if you go to them.


i’m just saying, try to see it from their viewpoint. their daughter isn’t going to be seen as in the wrong and you didn’t even tell them directly what you wanted. i would just tell them directly you want a divorce and if they don’t want to do anything move on to other means. no use waiting for them to throw you a bone, the whole family sounds messed up.


Thank you. I will go to the household registration office first thing after their vacation and try to get k
It. If you’re right about this, my lawyer hasn’t been honest with me and I need a new one.

For the extra insight and support. At least that’s why I do it.

Yeah I’m going to have to do that as well to show laf. I don’t think I’m going to waste any more time with my current lawyer.

Yeah I get what you’re saying and you’re absolutely right but nonetheless, my lawyer did strongly advise against that so I’m going to get a second opinion from another lawyer before I send an email like that. I don’t agree with it either but according to my lawyer, the court would view that as me being at fault and might jeopardize my chances of winning.



Hey just curious and you of course do not have to answer. But I’m wondering if there was any signs that her and her family were like this or did this irrational behavior just come out of no where.

Also I asked my friend about the lawyer, says he will get back to me. It’s been like 8 years or something so he has to see if he can find his info.


They’ve always been like this. Her family at least. My wife didn’t change behavior until after marriage. I was young and got married before I even knew any better. Not trying to make excuses but I really learned my lesson and want my life back. Thank you so much for asking your friend about the lawyer.


Rule six is hilarious. If you knew the other party was attempting to murder you wouldn’t they be in prison for conspiracy to murder or some such. Can you imagine telling a judge “I want a divorce because I think my wife wants to kill me”. :rofl:
And number 7 (loathsome diseases) could really bad long term.acne count ? Is that loathsome ?


And further to the comments on joint taxes, if the wife was filing and the OP asked the tax office for a copy, wouldn’t that have her address on it at the time she filed assuming she has been filing.

Im also wondering if one could make a missing persons report with the fuzz. I mean you are still married and you don’t even know her current condition.


Here’s the confusing part about this. It’s worded more clearly in Chinese and this goes back to who is at fault. She would have to leave with bad intent for me to use this. My wife would have to be trying to cause me harm by leaving me. As in for example; I was in a hospital bed in a coma and she took off or she left me with no means to support myself. Since I told her to leave, I can’t use this. That’s what they mean by in bad faith. My lawyer also explained that to me but then again, he is also the same lawyer who told me I would need a court order to get my household registration. The thing that really disturbs me is; he said the best we can go with is this

which wouldn’t work too well if she showed up to court. Can anyone clarify that it is indeed past tense and not invalidated if I meet her in court.
I really think I am going to need a second opinion and possibly a new lawyer.


That’s provided she was doing it jointly. I’m pretty sure she put us both down as unemployed to avoid tax. I realize that is frowned upon and I’m not really sure why she acted like that was normal. Regardless, never worked for a company that took my ARC so I should be okay. Out of curiosity, if we filed separately, could I get her tax statements since she is my wife? Provided I brought my household registration with me (which hopefully I get on Monday)?

Sorry for my ignorance but what is the fuzz?


Fuzz = popo. Die Polizei.

You know…? :policeman: :policewoman:

[edited by moderator]


gotcha. I’m not sure but I don’t think they’d be of much use. Well first I need to get my household registration because without that, we’re essentially looking for Jane Doe. I at least need her ID number.