I would stay away from monetary compensation at this point It would cause more trouble than it is worth.
“I’m sorry” is meaningless. “You’re sacked” however carries much more meaning. You have to ask yourself what sort of an adult gets off on calling a child “guai tai” in front of other children. Do you have to keep your kid in this sort of a school?
The teacher was, IMO, ignorant and an idiot for making the remark, and insensitive and inappropriately defensive in speaking with you.
When my boy was in Taiwanese elementary school, I learned of several statements made by teachers, or made by other students and encouraged by or unchallenged by teachers, that pissed me off quite a bit. In most cases, my wife suggested that I not make a fuss or confront the teacher or principal, as much as I wanted to do so.
My boy has a mild case of Sprengel’s Deformity, which prevents him from raising his arms above his head and generally made him weaker than most kids his age a few years ago. At one point, his class was going to compete against another class in a baseball game. My boy was never very good at baseball, lacking arm strength at the time. His teacher actually asked the class its collective opinion as to which students should not be given an opportunity to play in the game. One or two other boys offered that my boy not be able to participate because he wasn’t very good at baseball, and the teacher went along with the suggestion. Unfuckingbelievable… but, true. I cannot tell you how very much I would enjoy an opportunity to confront this moronic “educator”.
So, I don’t know what to tell you. If you complain at the meeting, the Taiwanese admin and teacher may well nod their heads in agreement with your complaints, and even promise to diligently guard against further instances of such stupidity. However, I imagine that more than likely, they will actually feel that you are making much ado about nothing.
Its frustrating. Really.
Two weeks ago I was asked by Taiwan’s Ministry of Education to write a brief criticism of the Taiwanese education system (I wouldn’t be paid for this, of course)… That’s a bit of a broad, open-ended topic, IMO… but, if I do attempt to put my criticisms on paper, I would certainly include the apparent appalling ignorance of many of the teachers in the lower grade levels.
I’d also solicit criticisms from F.com posters.
Guess what? 2 days have gone by and not a word re: when we will have the meeting. However, I did run across the Principal as I was waiting for my son at the front gate of the school just now. She walked by and mentioned as it was as easy as eating pie that sorry that the teacher just slipped something not that pleasant to my son. I said that I am sorry but as a teacher, you don’t just slip something inappropriate out of your mouth. We need to sit down and go over this together. She said that believe it or not, throughout the 3 years of her being a Principal of the school, that teacher had made a great deal of improvement as far as being harsh goes. I was astonished! omg! I said I don’t agree that behavior goes well with being a teacher who is supposed to be the model of the students and we ought to sit down together. It had to end because her appointment showed up.
I am concerned that some forumosian mentioned the worries of fussing around at the kid’s school. Am I fussing over something I shouldn’t have? Am I supposed to keep silent just because I don’t want them to mess around with my son or me? Is my son, the victim of this whole thing suppose to change schools instead of her? It’s mind-bugling and I am lost. 
Keep in mind not too long ago corporal punishment was OK. Also keep in mind that people here are in some cases more likely to state what they think is obvious, but less than tactful,…eg…you’re fat, tall, got bad skin…etc…
I would be polite but insistent. Let them know that you’re not just going to go away. At the same time, if you plan to stay at the school, them them some room to back down. YMMV
Watch…the next thing they will start doing is blaming your son.
Trust me… I empathize and sympathize.
As I stated, I was very angry, and still am angry, at comments made by or allowed by my boy’s teachers. However, I think that you have already registered your disapproval with the name-calling/inappropriate comments. Pushing further could very well result in diminishing returns.
Thus, I agree with what Elegua posted below:
It seems to me that the issue isn’t so much that the teacher called your son a freak, but rather that she regularly and casually uses such language towards students. In a way, if she often uses this kind of language then all the other kids will have forgotten about it by now as it is a regular occurance, and your son is not the sole target. Maybe keep an eye out to see if there has been any follow up teasing by fellow students, if not then the bigger a deal you make of it, the bigger deal it will seem to your son.
However, since the head has already commented on the incident to you, and feels that the teaacher has improved (really very possible, when I was at school corporal punishment was illegal, yet I remember a teacher hurling blackboard dusters at innattentive students, older siblings/their classmates were given the ruler, long after it was illegal in the UK, these things are slow to change), maybe you either want to leave it. Maybe use it as an example to your son of how a thoughtless comment can be upsetting, so he learns from the experience in a positive way.
On the other hand, you could arrange a brief meeting with the headteacher, just to express your concern about the enviroment for all the pupils in the class, maybe citing the recent situation in Japan, where a teacher’s comments on top of other bullying were linked to student suicides. You could express concern that a teacher using such language could lead to (inadvertantly on the part of the teacher of course) pupils to think that it’s okay to use it towards each other, and to make fun of each other, and how that can lead to later problems, such as bullying. All non specific to your son, as since your son has told you other students have been made to feel simmilarly uncomfortable. Bear in mind that you are hearing it second hand from your son and try to coach the comments as non-accusingly/non-directly as possible as you don’t want to fall into the he said/she said argument. Maybe present it as something you feel it is your duty to let the principal know about, although you’re sure that she’s already onto it… and for every negative comment about the teacher try to make two positive comments about the rest of the school, so it doesn’t seem like you’re on the attack, just expressing a concern about a really really small part of your son’s otherwise idylic school life for the benefit of the principal, so she can act as she sees fit to prevent problems in her school.
I’d say that the fact that the head even acknowledged that there was a problem the other day, and that she has been trying to smooth the teacher down shows that she has already been responsive to parental input in some form, I’d give her a chance to quietly improve the situation. Maybe casually inquire in a couple of months about how things are in that teacher’s class with your son.
I have to side with the Tigerman. They know you know. The principal knows. You have made your point. How far do YOU want to take this? What would be best for your kid?
I too can FULLY appreciate how pissed you are, and the kids only call my kid the “American.”
Let it go. If you want documentation in case you feel it will happen again, get something signed by the pricipal that says the teacher has been spoken to about this incident.
Good luck. And this is not the pussy way out. Confrontation in this kind of situation, this kind of “small thing” may get you two steps back for every one step forward.
Peace
jds
Well, I finally got a call- the meeting is scheduled for tomorrow at 8 am.
Thanks to all you guys so very much. I have planned to go in tomorrow with the following outlined plan:
- Thank them for taking the time
- Sorry to the teacher since I was all accusatory when I talked to her right after it happened
- Let them know all the good things they have been doing for the past 2 and a half years
- Admit judging one after hearing everything second hand isn’t fair but it was REAL to see my sons feelings got hurt
- Acknowledge the belief of the school has policies in place to take care of this and it’s out of my hand
- Like to work out a way of minimizing the damages and bad feelings it caused my son
- Love to believe the school will continue to be a good learning experience for my son…
What do you all think? I have decided not to go in as a lunatic, which I have been for the past few days. I have basically combined all the suggestions from you to come up with the plan. Thanks again for being there for me. I hope you all think this is the way to go and will be right there to back me up tomorrow!
[quote=“Ginny”]Well, I finally got a call- the meeting is scheduled for tomorrow at 8 am.
Thanks to all you guys so very much. I have planned to go in tomorrow with the following outlined plan:
- Thank them for taking the time
- Sorry to the teacher since I was all accusatory when I talked to her right after it happened
- Let them know all the good things they have been doing for the past 2 and a half years
- Admit judging one after hearing everything second hand isn’t fair but it was REAL to see my sons feelings got hurt
- Acknowledge the belief of the school has policies in place to take care of this and it’s out of my hand
- Like to work out a way of minimizing the damages and bad feelings it caused my son
- Love to believe the school will continue to be a good learning experience for my son…
What do you all think? I have decided not to go in as a lunatic, which I have been for the past few days. I have basically combined all the suggestions from you to come up with the plan. Thanks again for being there for me. I hope you all think this is the way to go and will be right there to back me up tomorrow![/quote]Sounds like a very good plan to me, Ginny.
Agree.
Good luck!
Sounds like the right way to go about it. Just remember not to wear any freakish clothes or accessories. 
[quote=“Ginny”]Well, I finally got a call- the meeting is scheduled for tomorrow at 8 am.
Thanks to all you guys so very much. I have planned to go in tomorrow with the following outlined plan:
- Thank them for taking the time
- Sorry to the teacher since I was all accusatory when I talked to her right after it happened
- Let them know all the good things they have been doing for the past 2 and a half years
- Admit judging one after hearing everything second hand isn’t fair but it was REAL to see my sons feelings got hurt
- Acknowledge the belief of the school has policies in place to take care of this and it’s out of my hand
- Like to work out a way of minimizing the damages and bad feelings it caused my son
- Love to believe the school will continue to be a good learning experience for my son…
What do you all think? I have decided not to go in as a lunatic, which I have been for the past few days. I have basically combined all the suggestions from you to come up with the plan. Thanks again for being there for me. I hope you all think this is the way to go and will be right there to back me up tomorrow![/quote]
Sounds good…do all of that…say how you like the school and want to keep your son there…and you really don’t want to see the problem get any worse (ie. please don’t force me to take things up a notch)…remind them that they admitted to saying something not nice (I’ve got dirt on you)…reflect on how that has had sch a negative impact on your son (my son is damaged, I should be asking for compensations, but I’m not 'cause I like you)…politely remind them how it really makes you upset when you hear such hurtfull things about your son…and how that is natural for a mother (deal with me now while I’m rational or I will make your life really difficult…and I potentially could be phycho enough to do it, but I like you if you are nice)…You’ve never heard of such a thing before (in all the schools my son went to in the West, everyone was a Saint - what is going on with Taiwan, I’ve head such good things, what’s up with this?)…don’t leave until they acknowledge specifically what they have done and get a comittment for it not to repeat (we promise blah blah blah that this will never happen again, we love your son…blah blah blah…).
Ginny,
Can you update us on how the meeting went?
My perspective is a little different, perhaps controversial.
-
Is your kid comfortable with the way you dress him? If not, let him decide what to wear with your support. If he doesn’t have confidence in his clothes, he will feel ashamed.
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This advice doesn’t apply to US anymore as they like guns too much, but get your kid Kung Fu lessons. I’m serious. The benefits are three-fold:
a) Kids hate getting their asses kicked. It’s very embarassing, and lowers their caste position. Your kid gives a beating, he won’t be called names anymore. That’s the fact of the playground.
b) Kung fu, sports, etc. builds character and confidence. Confidence is felt by kids. Kids don’t take on other kids with confidence. Confident kids grow up into fulfilled, confident, socially well-adjusted people with little psychological scarring of childhood. Confidence is key.
c) Kung fu builds athleticism. See b). Athleticism also leads to sana corporarum, sana whatever. Healthy body, health mind. See a) and b)
In conclusion, do your kid a favor. No one licks being picked on. And he only really has to kick ass once. After that, the threat of being on the receiving end is enough. For me, as a kid, every kid that I beat up for picking on me became a buddy afterwards (see a) caste positional change). Kids are funny that way.
I’m really not kidding. Confidence is key. Save your kid a lot of grief and anxiety. I had to have lotsa sex and break some people’s arms to overcome that later in life. Much better to start early. Much better.
Did I say, confidence is key?
[quote=“Tigerman”]Ginny,
Can you update us on how the meeting went?[/quote]
Hi Everyone:
Sorry that I did not write earlier… The meeting went short since I did not intend to make it long. The teacher tried to avoid the meeting for some lame reason but I insisted having her there or we would have to reschedule the meeting. She was pulled away from her excuse and was sat down at the meeting with us. I knew from the way she looked at me that the harsh scolding on the phone right after the incident was quite effective. Plus the principal had acknowledged that specific teacher had made progress over the years, which told me that they were aware of her bad-mouthing towards the kids. I then decided that I was really going to make peace.
I did exactly my plan plus making it fairly clear that what happened has happened and all I was interested in was to make the damage and hurt to the minimum by working with the school together. They mentioned that it was going to be brought up during the meeting so they could see how they might do little by little (since they made the point that they did not want to make my son feel that they were overdoing it to make it up to him, which might remind him of the incident) to make my son not feel so “different.” And they said that they would carefully make sure that no one at school will take this to another level by educating them better in how to treat one another, especially the different or weaker ones, without making a trace that it’s by any way connected to my son’s incident…
Over all, I was happy with their attitude. The teacher seemed grateful of my reaction. The school was helpful in solving the problem with me. And above all, I was more than ecstatic because I knew that the school would not give my son a hard time just to get back at me.
Thanks again for all the wonderful advices. That’s hope this will never occur again, to my son, or anyone.
Good job Ginny!!!
Ginny,
That is wonderful news. I’m very happy that the meeting went well for all concerned. Congratulations on handling the matter so well.
[quote=“Ginny”][quote=“Tigerman”]Ginny,
Can you update us on how the meeting went?[/quote]
Hi Everyone:
Sorry that I did not write earlier… The meeting went short since I did not intend to make it long. The teacher tried to avoid the meeting for some lame reason but I insisted having her there or we would have to reschedule the meeting. She was pulled away from her excuse and was sat down at the meeting with us. I knew from the way she looked at me that the harsh scolding on the phone right after the incident was quite effective. Plus the principal had acknowledged that specific teacher had made progress over the years, which told me that they were aware of her bad-mouthing towards the kids. I then decided that I was really going to make peace.
I did exactly my plan plus making it fairly clear that what happened has happened and all I was interested in was to make the damage and hurt to the minimum by working with the school together. They mentioned that it was going to be brought up during the meeting so they could see how they might do little by little (since they made the point that they did not want to make my son feel that they were overdoing it to make it up to him, which might remind him of the incident) to make my son not feel so “different.” And they said that they would carefully make sure that no one at school will take this to another level by educating them better in how to treat one another, especially the different or weaker ones, without making a trace that it’s by any way connected to my son’s incident…
Over all, I was happy with their attitude. The teacher seemed grateful of my reaction. The school was helpful in solving the problem with me. And above all, I was more than ecstatic because I knew that the school would not give my son a hard time just to get back at me.
Thanks again for all the wonderful advices. That’s hope this will never occur again, to my son, or anyone.[/quote]
Great! Now comes the next part…compliance to the agreement. Let them know that you are paying attention and that you want to help! 
[quote=“asiababy”]Ginny,
About any financial compensation, I got financial compensation for someones stupidity yesterday, if it’s offered and you accept, don’t let them try to turn it into “oh we paid you you are compensated, how good we are to you…” you know how they may try to talk you into believing they never did anything stupid, cos you have money now.
Good luck![/quote]
You hit it right on the head there asisababy. Many people seem to believe that if they pay money as compensation for something they did wrong, then its the same as purchasing the right to carry on as the payment equals out the equation instead of addressing the problem at the start with a solution and adjustment.
I might have another different take on things that doesn’t seem to have been brought up yet.
I have noticed how this name calling problem is only really one of the many problems there are with not just teachers, but society as a whole. I believe the name calling is only really the result of a larger problem at hand, which is selfishness and hypocrisy. Teachers name call and can’t take it the other way around, the same as people cut in line and can’t take it the other way around. Many people here are simply selfish and cannot envisage how their own actions and decisions can affect other people at the time that they are making them. Either that, or they simply don’t care. Of course it would seem likely that after experiencing the same rudeness from someone else, it would affect that person’s behavior in the future, but this is where I am baffled by society here and I will perhaps never know why some people don’t adjust.
I see adults slapping small children all the time for doing things that the child doesn’t yet understand is wrong. Explanations aren’t given, just an immediate slap. I see weird nicknames being given to children all the time without explanation to the child as to why they are given the names. It’s as if it’s O.K. to do anything as an adult because they assume they have earned the right and respect. I see countless examples of what I am talking about, but I’m not sure if it is just me that sees these problems as interconnected.
I try to offer my child a broader perspective of things in that I don’t teach him that everyone is equal, and I don’t teach him that everything is fair, as from my experience in the nine years that I have been here has been an enormous reality check, in that I have learned how selfish people are capable of being. Therefore I teach my child how to be his best and how to always respect others for the people they are. I don’t always expect him to be polite, but I do always expect him to be the first to show his politeness. If he doesn’t receive any in return, then forget about it! There are simply too many people with problems to hope to educate them all, but we can begin by appreciating the greater ones in the hopes that onlookers might catch on.
I myself have to be careful though, as I realized my thoughts may sometimes be realised too early by my child. For example the other day I sounded my car’s horn again at a person traveling the wrong way down the road. My son immediately called out from his back seat “Stupid!” 
. He has already associated my horn sounding with my reactionary phrase “stupid idiot!”, and now assumes it for himself. My lesson is that we are all far from perfect in our teachings, but we should always take account of ourselves from time to time. Now if only I can get that message to the others that I see in desperate need of help.
I will continue to teach my child how to be his best, but I will also teach him how despicable other people are capable of being in the hopes that will will learn to discard the comments and selfish actions of idiots without taking them personally or believing other people’s negativity is a reflection of himself or a criticism of himself. He will learn to appreciate himself for being good, and will not need to hear it from others, but at the same time learn to evaluate his own actions and take stock of himself. These are my ambitions, but I think he is coming along quite well already.