What would you call that thing?

Things. Objects. Tools. Devices.

You know how it is. We humans are tool-using animals. We make, and eventually discard, stuff that we need to make our lives easier. Our makings are simply inanimate objects. Or even if they’re “animate” they’re not alive. They don’t have feelings or self-awareness. They don’t have any consciousness at all. So obviously we shouldn’t have any kind of emotional relationship with them.

I’m sitting here caressing my shiny new phone and counting the days until I can ride my new motorbike. My baby. Last night as I was driving home (on a crappy scooter) I found myself singing “I could be so good for you” and concluded that Dennis would be a good name for a bright orange motorcycle with a bad attitude. Don’t ask me why.

I woke up feeling less convinced, and emailed a few friends who suggested some goodies like “The Jolly Rogerer” and “Fury Balls” (I misread it, and saw 2 R’s in the first word :howyoudoin: ) but I’m not convinced this is a good thing. I should use this tool to get from A to B, not fall in love with the bloody thing and start making detours to C, D, E, etc just to have an excuse to tool around on it.

Right?

Please save me from myself and persuade me to be more objective. Give me a good reason to think of it as “my bike” rather than “Rowdy” - or else give me a better name!!

MJB posted some pics here: CPI 250cc Supermoto KnowledgeBase and Info Goldmine

Udo or Bruce, or Andromeda…

I don’t understand bikes. The noble Taxi is my preferred form of perambulation, but I do understand the impulse. I gaze upon my latest Apple buy like a new mother would.

Aren’t bikes female, though, like boats?

Dennis Waterman sang the song I could be so good for you. Hence Dennis.

Fortune selected you not to sing Almaz, or else Randy would now be under consideration.

A motorcycle should be called Dirk.

Omar

Big Orange Tool

But then what would we call Loretta?