Who says I don’t?
I would get this guy to be my spokesperson.
emuse.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/1818
I’d even give him his superpower to help get him excited about it.
hang a sign out front:
Beware horny single PMS afflicted 35 year old woman on premises. Have pit bulls. Pass them and the booty-I mean prize - is yours 
I would ban cars and upstairs neighbors and people yelling to each other when they are standing right next to each other. Hell, I would ban people. AND I WOULD GET A DECENT NIGHT’S SLEEP!!!
SuchAFob wrote: [quote]I would ban cars and upstairs neighbors and people yelling to each other when they are standing right next to each other. Hell, I would ban people. AND I WOULD GET A DECENT NIGHT’S SLEEP!!![/quote]
You’ve been in Taiwan too long. You wouldn’t get a decent night’s sleep - you would just lie awake at night thinking, “Shit, it’s too quiet!”
I would have Indian, Italian, Mexican, Cantonese, Thai, Indonesian, French, and German restaurants which would give me a 100% ladyship discount. I’d also have an Alleycat’s in town. I’d have a school to teach in, but all of the students will have been born to parents who had to pass a parenting test to prove they would not become psychotic uber-parents (or sub-parents) upon entering the realm of parenthood.
I would set up a sandy bottomed lake and install a wave machine so I could surf anytime I got tired of my ladyship duties with really hot coaches hanging around the beach to cheer me on and to towel me off when I was finished. They’d of course, have the requisite chest hair peaking out of their rashers. Wait. Is that possible? 
Eh, it’s my fantasy. They’d at least have some nicely hairy legs and arms and a good tan and sun-bleached hair. Did I mention my village would be in the tropics?
I would live in a nice castle with a lovely southern view from my bedroom and a garden filled with bougainvillea of all colors and a field of sunflowers.
Idiots would be banned by law (spatially retarded people such as myself would be allowed to remain, however).
Makers of reality shows would be executed if their programs hit the airwaves in my village. Therefore, once a year, for one day, I would show all reality shows, have their producers, directors, crew, and cast flown in for their punishment, and purge the world of their ilk until they became extinct.
And I would finally get that pony I’ve been asking for since I was little.
I actually have never wanted a pony or any other of those girlie things, but I thought it would be a nice ending to this post fantasy. Thanks for reading! And if you made it this far and can read this print without copying and pasting it so that it’s normal size, then you rock!
Love, ImaniOU
If you’re still reading this post, you can stop now. I mean it.
You’ve been in Taiwan too long. You wouldn’t get a decent night’s sleep - you would just lie awake at night thinking, “Shit, it’s too quiet!”[/quote] :bravo: :bravo: :roflmao: Oh so true oh so true.
I fear this to be true.
Well…I know who I’d get for my idiot.
What happens if you open your door in just your boxers (with your junk hanging out), walk up to those people, and scream at the top of your lungs, “WHY ARE YOU YELLING?”
I would say preferably in Chinese, but think it would be funnier in English.
Someone test it out. My place is quiet.
Matt
Isn’t that a breed of dog? Big hairy thing, popular with royalty, needs a lot of exercise.
I’m sure I read a reference somewhere in a book to the king being ‘out exercising his droit de signeur.’
We’ve moved up a bit from owning a village to running your own country. Nice idea. What would you call it?
If I owned a whole village?
I’d have a pig pickin’ every year… southern style :America:
Slobobia. When in Slobobia, do as the Slobs