I took my daughter and the boys out the other day and we ended up at Tom’s World, one of those play center places.
On the drive there I was asking my daughter about her Chinese New Year, hong baos and gambling. Traditionally, they they have a little throwing of the dice and majong after they hand out the hong baos. She lost a little money. I asked her what she thought of the gambling and she said it was fun.
Then before we went into Tom’s World I gave her 100NT and said once it is gone don’t bother asking me for anymore 'cause I’m broke. She converted the 100 into tokens and then gave me two tokens for the boys to have a ride. They’re only two so they don’t really need the rides to be moving to enjoy them so that was fine. After about 10 minutes she had soon blown her 8 tokens, and came back. She didn’t ask for anymore money, but explained there was one game where you could win tokens. Because she didn’t ask for more money I gave her another hundred and said make sure you share it with the boys. She was gone only about three minutes and returned ready to leave. I asked her about the token’s for the boys but she’d already lost it all trying to win more tokens.
At first she wasn’t prepared to face the truth that she’d gambled it all away without sharing with the boys, by saying she’d already given them some tokens. Under scrutiny she soon broke down and revealed she’d lost it throwing good money after bad. The water works soon started.
I told her she was lucky as many people go their whole lives without learning that lesson, but she got to learn it when she was so young.
On reflection, I realized there was something wrong with my analysis or at least more too it. In the end, I didn’t think she was wrong, just wrong headed.
What JD said.
Also, how old is your little girl? My son is 9, the few instances I recall when he wanted to play (either with a relative or a friend) money games, I always told him it was a no fun game.
I guess it really depends on your viewpoint, but I wouldn’t beat my head with it.
When I say wrong headed I mean, I should have advised her that the problem with that kind of game is that you don’t understand the odds. There is nothing wrong with trying to turn your 10 tokens into 20 or more it is just that these games are designed for you to lose.
Not exaggerating here, from the minute the chieflette was old enough to understand the concept of money, two of my old man’s most valuable nuggets have been in constant rotation around the house:
The only places where there’s free lunch are in the army and in jail
and
Fair? You know what fair is? It’s a place where fat guys go to see who’s got the biggest pig.
That, together with this one from her Ma, when Baby first started playing Monopoly and other money-based games:
Just remember, no matter how you do, the bank is always the winner.
Feel gutted for the Foxlette though, poor wee thing, it’s a hard lesson, for sure, but you’re right, better now than later.
I’m not a father yet (not that I know of anyway), but I think you did the right thing by letter her lose the money. I’m not sure how old she is, but when I have kids if any of them go through similar circumstances I’ll set up a mini casino game for them to teach them through example how I (as the casino owner / banker) will always win.
In this scenario they will be taught that the only winners in gambling is the casino. I think financial education at an early age is an important part of their motivation later in life.
How did she feel about losing the money? Apart from the shame of having ‘lost’ did she get the connection that she loSt something that her dad had to work hard to get?
Did you want her to learn not to throw good money after bad, or that she shouldn’t waste money, that she should share, that she shouldn’t lie to her dad…? What did you want her to get from the experience? Is that clear for both of you now that the event is over?
[quote]How did she feel about losing the money? Apart from the shame of having ‘lost’ did she get the connection that she loSt something that her dad had to work hard to get?
Did you want her to learn not to throw good money after bad, or that she shouldn’t waste money, that she should share, that she shouldn’t lie to her dad…? What did you want her to get from the experience? Is that clear for both of you now that the event is over?
[/quote]
I don’t think she cared too much about losing the money. She cared about being caught in a lie and having blown the boys’ share.
I don’t think she thinks I work very hard for my money. After all she attends my school where she sees me just having a blast most of the time.
It wasn’t my intention that she gamble the money away rather than spend it on some rides or playing air hockey. She likes to win things. What I hoped she got out of it was the futility of betting against the odds and blowing her brothers’ share. I haven’t let her forget about it quite yet.
