What would you pay your kid if they went off to university?

If tuition, accommodation and food are given, there must be enough time to study, work part time and enjoy social life for most students. Work can be social too.

If you can go to college with no need to support your family, I think it is not so bad.

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For a college student part time salary is enough in Taiwan. Many students manage just fine working part time. Someone I went to high school with supported herself through college by working part time. She didnā€™t get money from home at all because her family doesnā€™t have any. Iā€™d say itā€™s much easier to do so than in horribly expensive places like NYC or London where I think students either need a loan and a part time job to survive ā€¦ or are Crazy Rich Asians.

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Yes I think Taiwan is really quite an easy place to be a student. Relatively low cost place, low tuition , easy to find a job, easy find a place to stay, not very competitive environment. When I was a student I struggled to earn enough to support myself (in terms of social activities ) due to the horrendous job market and economy . I did work every summer and had a blast working in different countries.
In Taiwan pay isnā€™t great but there are tonnes of jobs available.
I did miss out on one scholarship chance though cos I was too busy working at one stage.
Everything is a balance isnā€™t it.
I donā€™t like Taiwanā€™s way of raising kidults. Spending their whole lives dependent in their parents. Itā€™s comfortable but itā€™s really boring and you then meet a lot of boring people.

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One idea is for the kids to work in your home country or third country for the summer. They can get exposure to a more international world and potentially earn more money. I donā€™t know how many months they get off though.

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The most common job amongst uni students is definitely private tutoring. Youā€™d get a lot more money and itā€™s barely real work. Since your kid is half American (or Canadian or British or whatever) he can easily charge like 1000 per hour for teaching English.

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I think youā€™re doing the right thing. One thing many adults never learn is the value of money and personal finance. Better to start learning now than later with painful lessons in bankruptcy, no retirement, or living month to month. I always wondered why my parents and my friends parents never taught us thisā€¦

The way I eventually became excited about money was deciding to see it as a game of points and learning to save, track, invest these points became fun

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Yes, thatā€™s often the case. :meat_on_bone: :cut_of_meat: :whistle:

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I second getting your son on a budget. The first step in getting him to understand the value of money is getting him to see where all his money is going.

Check out the app 哈啦Money. He can scan receipts, which will automatically be imported into the budget. If he has a cell phone barcode (ę‰‹ę©Ÿę¢ē¢¼), the app can log into the ministry of financeā€™s database and automatically import the purchases. (and of course, you can manually enter purchases) You can log into one account on multiple phones, which means that you can track his purchases from afar.

My first boss taught me the value of money. Iā€™m so grateful to him to this day. He made me record all my income and expenses to show him what I was doing with the money he gave me. If he gave me a $2,168 paycheck but the amount I had recorded spending plus the amount left-over in my account only only totaled to $2,000, Iā€™d get a stern lecture. If you son isnā€™t the type that fears a ā€œtalking to,ā€ you could do something like give him a $168 penalty (equal to the amount that he ā€œlostā€).

Sometimes Iā€™d spend half the day trying to figure out where a few pennies had gone (this was in America) and it really taught me the value of money.

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Lemme play devilā€™s advocate:

Have you guys thought the resentment this kid will feel when he sees everyone around him is spoiled rotten and he is left to his own devices? It is very Western to think at 18 youā€™re out, but here you will be 30 and being told what to do and your wife will manage your money after your mom is done with it. New generations, especially those with less income, are more independent, but still, he needs to understand that you are sincerely not able to cover expenses Willy nilly. Or ideas might begin to get on his head. Bad ideas.

Are you sure he will understand the mechanics of Ā«this is for your own goodĀ»?

Moreover, I warn you, if you leave him on his own, you also forfeit any authority in telling him what to do. If you do it Western, go ahead, but no halfway. No keeping him on a short chain or using money as a manipulation tool.

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I was quite shocked but not familiar with Taiwan university systems. This kidā€™s opinion is the teaching there is weak and use Taiwaneseā€¦so his grades improved dramatically watching YouTube instead of going to class. Well, he is very studious and just does what he needs to get the good grades.

How long ago is it? Current years? Are they old professors? Most students understand the classes?

Thank you to all that replied. Iā€™ve carefully read every post and there are some insightful thoughts here, I certainly have some more thinking to do.

Opinions displayed are spread across the entire spectrum; from kids should have to fully support themselves, right through to parents should provide enough to have a full social life.

I agree with what some have said, my wife isnā€™t fully on board with this. I know it, and that is what has planted the seed of doubt that is the basis for this thread.
I can say for sure that she is somewhat embarrassed or ashamed that he has to work part time, sheā€™s already told me that at least 3 of her friends pay tuition, accommodation and give a 5 figure monthly allowance to their kids in college.

My wife grew up very very poor. Now, even though we have a bit of money, sheā€™s not frivolous and virtually never buys nice things for herself, even if try push her to do so. But, because of the way she grew up, she spares nothing when it comes to the kids.

Weā€™ve been together a long time, and cultural differences are generally a thing of the past. But I think thatā€™s the root of the problem here. For me, I feel that parents in my home country that pay tuition and accommodation are being extremely generous. Very few in my social circle in university got that much.

Icon said that itā€™s very western to think at 18 youā€™re out. Well, this is exactly what I think. Iā€™m OK to let him go, I donā€™t want to have authority over him, I donā€™t expect him to support us financially when weā€™re old. Heā€™s free, but weā€™ll always be here should he need us.

To step back a bit, if I hadnā€™t seen a couple of blatant displays of entitlement and ungratefulness in the past 6-8 months, we wouldnā€™t be here now. I would have gone along with my wife, and we would have paid the lot without much thought. As I said originally, there is a supposed to be life lesson in here somewhere.

Just tuition (private university) and dorm accommodation runs ~NT15K/month, this is what we pay now. Add some spending money and itā€™s up around the ~25K/month mark. We can afford it, not easily, but it could be done. Dorm accommodation is only available to first year students, so accommodation costs will be even more from next year on.

I can honestly say that this is one of the hardest decisions Iā€™ve made as a parent. I feel Iā€™m damned if I do and Iā€™m damned if I donā€™t.
Heā€™s coming back home for the weekend next week. Weā€™ll have a good talk.

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Perhaps you can base the extra spending money of the performance off his grades. Let him know he is a student first and thatā€™s the priority and youā€™re investing in his future. So your continual support is conditioned on that he treats it like his job and get good grades.

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You softee. Performance should be a prerequisite for any support. The extras (other than food if not provided as part of accommodation) are, by definition, unnecessary.

Good luck on being a parent. Your concern on teaching him important lessons already surpasses most of the parents I know. Most parents we know only care if the kids have good gradesā€¦nothing, I mean nothing else, is necessary. No need to say some of their kids are in need of some ā€œeducationā€ about other issues in life and society.
I never wanted to be a parentā€¦simply too weak to face the slew of responsibilities.

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tando

1h

How long ago is it? Current years? Are they old professors? Most students understand the classes?

He is currently at the medical university. Not sure about the professorsā€™ ages. Will ask him about the other studentsā€™ Taiwanese language abilities.

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One more idea: show him this entire thread! :exploding_head:

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In the end you know best. But in my deepest honest opinion: If a person raises a child based on what one person feels ashamed of due to public jealousy, the kid is likely going down a useless path. And those types probably donā€™t need university in the first place, its just to fulfill some kind of selfish parental satisfaction that is forced upon the child.

It depends how they were raised though. a spoiled kid told he is on his own outright at 18 is pretty harsh. Raising them as a critical thinking machine will prepare them for anything and able to solve their problems. Like @icon mentions. But the continuation of enabling and spoiling due to mom wanting to save face in front of friends seems like a parent fail to be brutally honest. Surely you have noticed the progression in society and culture at least in your home country and here. It is likely safe to assume both are going downhill in the maturity and self disciplined/capable categories. This isnt to say dont support them, but when they are of legal age to do anything in a country they should also have all the responsibilities to go with those rights. Nations degrade due to this problem. Always have but hopefully wont always.

ps. rent, food and transport are all cheap here. it is incredibly easy to survive paying everything yourself working a part time tea shop job.

It is also worth considering is university useful for him. the whole uni system is geared towards cheating people into thinking they need it. some do, others donā€™t. if you are spending lots on something that is a true waste of time, its worth to seriously think about it. The Canaddian system starts getting kids to think about and prepare for future careers at grade 5 in my old district. by graduation it has at least resonated in the kids head long enough to have a general idea on direction. I only mention this in case he is just going because mom would be ashamed if he didnt get a degree.

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I know what you mean, but as long as the brainwashing advertising works on employers and governments too, anyone past a certain age without a degree is effectively disabled, but worse, as there isnā€™t even a quota to fill.

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Ya and for those it is useful. For a fairly large percent in taiwan self employment or working for family doesnt often require such certification.

With confidence, skill and diligence it is pretty easy to get a good paycheck in Taiwan. But either side isnt for everyone.

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