What's so bad about polygamous marriage?

Discussion Open Forum
#1

I see absolutely nothing wrong with polygamous marriage. It makes no difference to me if a man or woman wants multiple wives/husbands, assuming of course that everyone involved is a consenting adult. And yet polygamy is illegal in the US and most other Western countries as far as I know. I see no reasonable basis for polygamy to be illegal. I see it in the same vein as sodomy laws and laws “defining” marriage to exclude same-gender marriage. It has nothing to do with reason and everything to do with the Christian notion of sin.

And yet, even among my open-minded, liberal, atheist/agnostic friends, I find a great deal of opposition to plural marriage. I don’t get it, and I’ve never been able to glean a more incisive argument than “uh, it’s just wrong.” Perhaps you enlightened souls can educate me. Why is plural marriage immoral?

#2

The problem is that people become jealous and possessive in these types of relationships. Humans are not wired for monogamy or polygamy. They are wired to cheat.

#3

Interestingly, Muslim clerics defend Islamic plural marriages (wherein a man may have up to four wives) by criticizing monogamy as unnatural. They recognize that men are interested in having multiple women, whereas women are more interested in having a man (just one) who will take care of them. Islamic law stipulates that if a man does have more than one wife, he has to treat them equally. They can actually take him to court if he gives too much attention/money/property/goods to one wife over the others.

#4

Another note on plural marriage: it was allowed under Judaism for centuries. Polygamy is not forbidden anywhere in the Jewish Bible, and many of the well-known Biblical characters are described as having multiple wives (like the humorous story of Jacob, Rachael, and Leah, plus their two slave girls haha). Pressure from their Christian masters forced the Jewish clergy to ban polygamy in the 11th century ad, but that really only affected the Jews in Christian Europe. The Sephardic Jews in Islamic Andalucía and the Mizhari Jews in other parts of the Muslim world continued to practice polygamy, and there’s been some awkward situations in Israel when those Jews show up during aliyah with their “other” wives. :wink:

#5

I don’t think you can look at past practice and say ‘hey! this has been going on happily in different cultures for a long time! what’s the problem?’ i don’t think women back then could dial 911, get a temporary restraining order, spousal support, and rights to the children. having said that, as long as the brides aren’t minors and all those modern goodies i mentioned are available, including spousal battering laws that allow police officers to pull in violent spouses even if the other spouse doesn’t want to press charges, i say go for it. if many examples of mental and physical abuse were the yardsticks by which we judged which relationships to allow, then there would perhaps be grounds to outlaw traditional one man one woman marriage.

#6

gao_bo_han,

Those are examples of institutionalized “cheating” for men. But not institutionalized “cheating” for the women.

Those models are not sustainable. Because the assumption is that the male is a true alpha male that can support all those wives. If you see them in practice the man is so bogged down maintaining the relationships that there is very little time aquiring the wealth needed to sustain the family. They usually end up on the welfare line in modern countries.

#7

I think it’s cool as long as everyone is cool with it.

These sorts of setups are hard even for people that have a working model (in the US without the marriage) just because you have to “cover your tracks” a bit since it’s not socially acceptable (sort of like being gay is/was.)

#8

In the book Under the Banner of Heaven, which is about Mormon fundamentalists, many of them have multiple wives and many children. The State and Federal governments usually end up paying lots of dough to these families, tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars, because they are poor.

Oddly enough, there is a TVshow on showtime called Big Love about a rich polygamus family. But reality is more along the lines of what AC said. Huge welfare trains.

#9

That is what is called “social monogamy.” In the animal world, anyway…And it’s the rule rather than the exception that at least one of the partners will engage in extra pair copulations. (oh, the memories of animal behavior class)

…

I have friends in open relationships, and I know polygamous people, and I also see nothing wrong with having multiple partners. If you can handle that kind of dynamic, props. I have heard it explained that some people need to have different partners that meet different sides of their personalities.

#10

I’ve heard of sperm competition where the female deliberately shags as many males in as short as time as possible so that the sperm of different males will compete with each other on the way to the egg.

I’ve also heard that the existence of sperm competition in the reproductive cycle of a species (for mammals) can be measured by the size of the males’ balls. If the males of the species have large balls then the females like to shag around and sperm competition is prevalent. Chimps for example have woppers and the females have multiple sexual partners (up to 7 or 8) in the space of only half an hour. On the other hand great apes have small balls because the females are more monogamous and the apes control them socially, i.e., beat up on them. Men are relatively well hung compared to the great apes meaning that women engage in sperm competition; however, men are not as well hung as male Chimps consequently we have to beat up on the sheilas once in a while.

#11

I can’t get any privacy with only 1 wife. I can’t imagine trying to use the bathroom with 3 more barging in…geeeesh!

#12

But think of how convenient it would be to be able to post on Forumosa while one wife shakes the drops off, another applies the bog paper, yet another readies the soap and turns on the tap while shag-of-the day awaits you in the boudoir.

BroonAlot

#13

yeah…like thats gonna happen

they’d form a committee, issue a fatwah and start a jihad on me…and I’d be the one paying for it.

#14

[quote=“Fox”]I’ve heard of sperm competition where the female deliberately shags as many males in as short as time as possible so that the sperm of different males will compete with each other on the way to the egg.

I’ve also heard that the existence of sperm competition in the reproductive cycle of a species (for mammals) can be measured by the size of the males’ balls. If the males of the species have large balls then the females like to shag around and sperm competition is prevalent. Chimps for example have woppers and the females have multiple sexual partners (up to 7 or 8) in the space of only half an hour. On the other hand great apes have small balls because the females are more monogamous and the apes control them socially, i.e., beat up on them. Men are relatively well hung compared to the great apes meaning that women engage in sperm competition; however, men are not as well hung as male Chimps consequently we have to beat up on the sheilas once in a while.[/quote]

classic post! :laughing:

#15

It’s amazing what you can learn on Animal Planet.

#16

[quote=“Fox”]I’ve heard of sperm competition where the female deliberately shags as many males in as short as time as possible so that the sperm of different males will compete with each other on the way to the egg.

[/quote]

Is that what Annabelle Chong told her mum was her solution to Singapore’s declining birth rate?

BroonAsks

#17

No that’s what she told her husband before he bitch slapped her.

#18

No that’s what she told her husband before he bitch slapped her.[/quote]

She was married to Ron Jeremy?

BroonAstonished

#19

The constant nagging would drive me to an early grave!

#20

If that is meant to be pronounced “Roger Me” with the lilt of a Singaporean accent then I’m surprised she was concerned about getting pregnant at all.