What's the etymology of Hokkien, Hoklo and Hohlo?

Thanks. With that information, let me summarize the names of this topolect.

  1. Taiwanese. Imprecise. Either too small a fit (etymologically refers only to Taoyuan), or too big a fit (spoken outside Taiwan).
  2. Hoklo. No one knows where the hell this word came from, only that it’s probably an exonym, but labeller unknown.
  3. Hokkien. Imprecise. Not spoken in large area of province, including capital.
  4. Southern Min. Political and includes Teochew, also imprecise.

Also, why is there a Southern Min and an Eastern Min? Why not N/S and E/W?

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Don’t forget the important part: Taioanese speakers have adopted Taioanese as their endonym (since the beginning, pretty much - even though yes it started as an exonym). They don’t accept the other ones. But - and this is the crux of the problem - the one they have accepted, they’re not “allowed” to have.

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I hope by Taoyuan you mean the area presently known as Anping (安平) in Tainan, and not Taoyuan county in Northern Taiwan.