Well, this debate shows that people need different things. I have lost 2 members of my immediate family (one as a young child), my best friend (as a teenager) and been through intense grief as an adult and the absolute very last thing I needed to do was talk to anybody about it. The very idea is insulting to me. But other people grieve by sharing. To say kids ‘need’ anything is to presume a lot. Dunno.
Ah, I suppose vocab study from Baywatch would be out of the question then?
Seriously though, on the various occasions I’ve lost folk I know – I used to be a winter climber and have lost several friends through that, including two who were on the same rope as me at the time, as well as through drugs, AIDS, etc., and the VERY LAST thing I would have wanted to do would be to get touchy-feely with some bloke in a hairy sweater and a bad haircut in some office somewhere.
I talked to me mates. Still hairy sweaters and bad haircuts, but at least the talks took place in a pub. And they often paid. Sympathy’s great. eh?
Ah, I suppose vocab study from Baywatch would be out of the question then?
Seriously though, on the various occasions I’ve lost folk I know – I used to be a winter climber and have lost several friends through that, including two who were on the same rope as me at the time, as well as through drugs, AIDS, etc., and the VERY LAST thing I would have wanted to do would be to get touchy-feely with some bloke in a hairy sweater and a bad haircut in some office somewhere.
I talked to me mates. Still hairy sweaters and bad haircuts, but at least the talks took place in a pub. And they often paid. Sympathy’s great. eh?[/quote]
I think-no- I know for a fact that many people do not have friends they can talk to about their grief, and many times our friends aren’t capable of dealing with all that comes with grief. Therefore, I would strongly encourage anyone dealing with grief to at least talk once with a trained counselor .
If anything, a therapist is neutral and doesn’t know your history, so aren’t emotionally invested in what you are going thru.
During my early 20’s I lost 4 people in one year, this isn’t including friends that walked away. It would have helped if I had the clarity to seek out therapy. Alas, I’ve had plenty of time to make up for it anyway. :s 
I lost one of my ladies recently, because she was decieved by a Mr. Married.
There are many ways to deal with sense of lost.
Suppression, Isolation, Retionalization, etc.
Many people need a closure in most of time, but life is difficult.
Sometimes people must live with ever-lasting pain.
I don’t know why I am talking about this now.
Not enough suppression, I think.
Get it out kate, it does ya good. 
Just an update… I taught them yesterday afternoon…
It wasn’t easy. Everything you do or see, you are in some way reminded about the death. A bottle of water on the desk. A line in the textbook asking “Did you go swimming?”. Even making a comment “It’s so hot… I want to~~~ eat some icecream.” I had to bite my tongue a few times during class.
Overall, the class was fine. A few of them were folding paper swans while we were doing the classwork, so I decided to give them the last 10 minutes of class to allow everybody to do it. They told me that they will all be going to his funeral on Sunday. But yeah, a couple of days has given them some time to compose themselves.
The paper cranes are a great idea for them. I guess it has the same significance as it does in Japan.
Good Job xo8
Oh yeah~ cranes… not swans~~ Thanks for correcting me.
Well, a week on now…
Yesterday in class it was pretty much back to normal. At the start of the class though, one of the girls came up to my assistant and I to hand each of us a slip of paper. She asked us each to write a message (for the boy) on our papers and to give it back to her at the end of class.
Supposedly, they do something with the messages (burn them I guess) and send them to the spirit of the boy. Honesty is preferred, even being allowed to write bad things. Not that I did, as the boy really was a good person, and as I wrote on the paper - he left us as a martyr… sacrificing himself to save the other boy.
[quote=“sandman”]Seriously though, on the various occasions I’ve lost folk I know – I used to be a winter climber and have lost several friends through that, including two who were on the same rope as me at the time, as well as through drugs, AIDS, etc., and the VERY LAST thing I would have wanted to do would be to get touchy-feely with some bloke in a hairy sweater and a bad haircut in some office somewhere.
I talked to me mates. Still hairy sweaters and bad haircuts, but at least the talks took place in a pub. And they often paid. Sympathy’s great. eh?[/quote]
I hear ya. I’ve dealt with the tragedies in my life through the comfort of my friends. Mainly just hanging around, hiking, camping, drinking beer, talking about our grand adventures shooting Roman candles at each other when we were 10, more drinking, buying said Roman candles and hey why can’t we do it now does anybody have some matches, more drinking, etc. But when I broke down crying and sobbing they were there for me. Going to some $200 an hour quack was the furthest thing from my mind. I don’t care if the “counselor” paid me, I still wouldn’t go because I know I’d find no solace being stared at and analyzed by some stranger in a stuffy office.